Confronting Habits | Better Together | TBN

Confronting Habits | Better Together

Watch Confronting Habits | Better Together
July 19, 2019
23:27

What is holding you back? It might be smaller than you think. | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

Closed captions
  • - How much is too much?
  • 00:00:00.210 --> 00:00:02.240
  • We've got shopping, eating, binge watching
  • 00:00:02.240 --> 00:00:05.140
  • your favorite TV shows.
  • 00:00:05.140 --> 00:00:07.050
  • When does a habit become a hindrance?
  • 00:00:07.050 --> 00:00:09.080
  • Come on, let's talk about it.
  • 00:00:09.080 --> 00:00:10.280
  • (mellow theme music)
  • 00:00:10.280 --> 00:00:14.010
  • - Lauren asks,
  • 00:00:36.140 --> 00:00:37.170
  • "What about excess?
  • 00:00:37.170 --> 00:00:40.240
  • "Can excessive shopping, dining, TV binging,
  • 00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:44.120
  • "or even working too much be a sin?
  • 00:00:44.120 --> 00:00:47.170
  • "Where is the line and how do you know
  • 00:00:47.170 --> 00:00:50.270
  • "when you are crossing it?"
  • 00:00:50.270 --> 00:00:53.020
  • They also talked a little bit about
  • 00:00:54.100 --> 00:00:56.120
  • when do you know if it's interfering
  • 00:00:57.220 --> 00:01:00.100
  • with your relationship with God.
  • 00:01:00.100 --> 00:01:02.210
  • Which is a great question because I don't believe
  • 00:01:02.210 --> 00:01:05.280
  • most people realize that they have formed habits
  • 00:01:05.280 --> 00:01:08.290
  • that are not
  • 00:01:08.290 --> 00:01:10.200
  • beneficial to them.
  • 00:01:10.200 --> 00:01:12.030
  • Because habits are good.
  • 00:01:12.030 --> 00:01:13.190
  • You know, we all live by habits, our life is a system,
  • 00:01:13.190 --> 00:01:16.220
  • it's a routine life.
  • 00:01:16.220 --> 00:01:17.290
  • That's what we do.
  • 00:01:17.290 --> 00:01:19.200
  • But when you have a habit that interferes
  • 00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:23.120
  • with your relationship with God, that's the problem.
  • 00:01:23.120 --> 00:01:26.000
  • - Or your other relationships.
  • 00:01:27.090 --> 00:01:29.030
  • You know?
  • 00:01:30.100 --> 00:01:31.180
  • I mean, you could have a habit that's detrimental
  • 00:01:31.180 --> 00:01:32.280
  • to your marriage or to your family.
  • 00:01:32.280 --> 00:01:35.270
  • So how do you know?
  • 00:01:35.270 --> 00:01:37.180
  • You know, is what she's saying.
  • 00:01:37.180 --> 00:01:38.240
  • How do you know?
  • 00:01:38.240 --> 00:01:39.290
  • - How do you know?
  • 00:01:39.290 --> 00:01:40.270
  • And it's a great thing and
  • 00:01:40.270 --> 00:01:42.280
  • my take would be
  • 00:01:42.280 --> 00:01:44.240
  • you know when you go to that habit first.
  • 00:01:44.240 --> 00:01:48.130
  • What do you go to first when something comes up
  • 00:01:48.130 --> 00:01:51.090
  • in your life?
  • 00:01:51.090 --> 00:01:52.150
  • Like I had a habit.
  • 00:01:52.150 --> 00:01:54.040
  • Oh God, did I have a habit.
  • 00:01:54.040 --> 00:01:55.150
  • - Let's hear it, come on.
  • 00:01:55.150 --> 00:01:56.200
  • Let me hear it.
  • 00:01:56.200 --> 00:01:57.280
  • - Oh, I had a habit.
  • 00:01:57.280 --> 00:01:59.170
  • To me, it wasn't a bad habit, but it was a habit.
  • 00:01:59.170 --> 00:02:02.200
  • Whenever I was frustrated or get flustered about something,
  • 00:02:02.200 --> 00:02:06.290
  • my relationship wasn't going the way
  • 00:02:06.290 --> 00:02:08.270
  • that I wanted it to go, my habit was shopping.
  • 00:02:08.270 --> 00:02:12.160
  • I would say,
  • 00:02:12.160 --> 00:02:13.230
  • "Okay, I'm just gonna go spend some money."
  • 00:02:13.230 --> 00:02:14.270
  • I would go directly to the mall.
  • 00:02:14.270 --> 00:02:17.100
  • That was my first source.
  • 00:02:17.100 --> 00:02:19.160
  • And I had to realize that shopping was not satisfying me,
  • 00:02:19.160 --> 00:02:23.270
  • it only pleased me for a moment.
  • 00:02:23.270 --> 00:02:25.260
  • - Temporary.
  • 00:02:25.260 --> 00:02:26.210
  • - It's temporary.
  • 00:02:26.210 --> 00:02:28.000
  • And I had to really retrain my thinking,
  • 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:32.260
  • retrain the way that I was doing things because
  • 00:02:32.260 --> 00:02:35.160
  • it was an interference with my relationship with God.
  • 00:02:35.160 --> 00:02:38.210
  • Because I didn't go to God first.
  • 00:02:38.210 --> 00:02:40.140
  • I'm like,
  • 00:02:40.140 --> 00:02:42.000
  • "God, okay, what should I be doing in this moment?"
  • 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:43.220
  • No, I made shopping the source of my satisfaction.
  • 00:02:43.220 --> 00:02:47.190
  • - Yeah, because it was self-gratification.
  • 00:02:47.190 --> 00:02:49.100
  • - [Dee Dee] It was self--
  • 00:02:49.100 --> 00:02:50.190
  • - So I'm mad, I'm gonna go shopping.
  • 00:02:50.190 --> 00:02:52.070
  • - You know, all girls like retail therapy, right?
  • 00:02:52.070 --> 00:02:55.100
  • But mines was out of control.
  • 00:02:55.100 --> 00:02:57.100
  • When I would get upset, when I would get flustered
  • 00:02:57.100 --> 00:02:59.250
  • about anything that was going on in my life,
  • 00:02:59.250 --> 00:03:02.140
  • my first go-to was the mall.
  • 00:03:02.140 --> 00:03:05.190
  • And the mall made me feel so good.
  • 00:03:05.190 --> 00:03:08.060
  • Yes, it was my best friend.
  • 00:03:08.060 --> 00:03:10.240
  • But guess what, when I would come home,
  • 00:03:10.240 --> 00:03:12.260
  • I would have so much regret because my pockets were empty.
  • 00:03:12.260 --> 00:03:17.180
  • I wasn't able to even sew, I wasn't able to pay my tithes,
  • 00:03:19.010 --> 00:03:22.150
  • I wasn't in any kind of good, healthy
  • 00:03:22.150 --> 00:03:25.170
  • financial state so I realize that that was a problem for me.
  • 00:03:25.170 --> 00:03:30.000
  • I realized that I would go shopping opposed
  • 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:33.020
  • to going to God.
  • 00:03:33.020 --> 00:03:34.220
  • Shopping was a temporary fix
  • 00:03:34.220 --> 00:03:37.000
  • but I realized that God was my permanent fix.
  • 00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:40.060
  • And so I had to change my attention, change
  • 00:03:40.060 --> 00:03:44.010
  • how I was doing things to going to the person who was
  • 00:03:44.010 --> 00:03:47.180
  • the true source of satisfaction.
  • 00:03:47.180 --> 00:03:50.070
  • Shopping was a temporary source of satisfaction
  • 00:03:50.070 --> 00:03:53.110
  • but God is the true source of satisfaction.
  • 00:03:53.110 --> 00:03:57.280
  • You know, we talk about this behavioral therapy a lot
  • 00:03:57.280 --> 00:04:01.120
  • and behavioral therapy is one of the things
  • 00:04:01.120 --> 00:04:03.140
  • that deal with, you know, your behavior
  • 00:04:03.140 --> 00:04:05.280
  • and how can you break that habit?
  • 00:04:05.280 --> 00:04:08.200
  • You gotta almost punish,
  • 00:04:08.200 --> 00:04:11.020
  • you know, a bad habit
  • 00:04:11.020 --> 00:04:13.280
  • with something that you don't like in order to break it.
  • 00:04:13.280 --> 00:04:17.080
  • You know, of course, we talk about these cycles.
  • 00:04:17.080 --> 00:04:19.050
  • You know, the cycle of three, then 21 days
  • 00:04:19.050 --> 00:04:21.240
  • of going through everything but
  • 00:04:21.240 --> 00:04:23.260
  • if you're feeling good at the end of doing something,
  • 00:04:23.260 --> 00:04:26.260
  • you're gonna wanna keep doing it.
  • 00:04:26.260 --> 00:04:28.230
  • 'Cause shopping is, it feels good.
  • 00:04:28.230 --> 00:04:31.050
  • But it was only temporary.
  • 00:04:31.050 --> 00:04:32.210
  • Come on, you know shopping is good.
  • 00:04:32.210 --> 00:04:34.270
  • We girls, we like shopping.
  • 00:04:34.270 --> 00:04:36.180
  • But I mean, people have habits all the time,
  • 00:04:36.180 --> 00:04:38.280
  • they drink, whatever.
  • 00:04:38.280 --> 00:04:40.180
  • They do things to medicate a moment.
  • 00:04:40.180 --> 00:04:42.250
  • - Yeah, it's the motivation behind what you're doing.
  • 00:04:42.250 --> 00:04:46.100
  • - Exactly.
  • 00:04:46.100 --> 00:04:47.050
  • - Right?
  • 00:04:47.050 --> 00:04:48.080
  • If it's trying to cover a hurt
  • 00:04:48.080 --> 00:04:50.060
  • or mask a pain.
  • 00:04:50.060 --> 00:04:51.250
  • And I just think that
  • 00:04:51.250 --> 00:04:53.260
  • God wants us healthy.
  • 00:04:55.050 --> 00:04:56.230
  • Right, that's the goal, healthy.
  • 00:04:56.230 --> 00:04:59.050
  • And the thing is, like I remember in that season
  • 00:04:59.050 --> 00:05:01.120
  • that was really hard for us.
  • 00:05:01.120 --> 00:05:03.130
  • You know, life was hard
  • 00:05:03.130 --> 00:05:04.280
  • and kids and ministry, it was just the really hard season
  • 00:05:04.280 --> 00:05:07.200
  • and all I wanted to do
  • 00:05:07.200 --> 00:05:09.090
  • at the end of a day is just sit on my sofa
  • 00:05:09.090 --> 00:05:11.040
  • and watch TV.
  • 00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:13.020
  • And honestly, that's not who I am.
  • 00:05:13.020 --> 00:05:15.110
  • I'm not that person.
  • 00:05:15.110 --> 00:05:16.240
  • I didn't even really grow up with a television
  • 00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:18.020
  • so I'm just not that person.
  • 00:05:18.020 --> 00:05:19.240
  • But for a season,
  • 00:05:19.240 --> 00:05:21.130
  • that's what I did.
  • 00:05:21.130 --> 00:05:22.200
  • Now, if that went on for longer than that,
  • 00:05:22.200 --> 00:05:25.000
  • it would've been a problem.
  • 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:26.130
  • Now I would have developed that that's my escape mechanism
  • 00:05:26.130 --> 00:05:29.110
  • so I just think it's the
  • 00:05:29.110 --> 00:05:31.140
  • motivation why 'cause we all have pain,
  • 00:05:31.140 --> 00:05:33.260
  • we all are gonna deal with things,
  • 00:05:33.260 --> 00:05:35.210
  • but it's what you go to first.
  • 00:05:35.210 --> 00:05:37.020
  • - [Dee Dee] It's what you go to first.
  • 00:05:37.020 --> 00:05:38.180
  • - Right, and how long you gonna stay there?
  • 00:05:38.180 --> 00:05:39.130
  • - [Dee Dee] How long--
  • 00:05:39.130 --> 00:05:40.110
  • - What you become dependent on.
  • 00:05:40.110 --> 00:05:41.180
  • - On that.
  • 00:05:41.180 --> 00:05:43.020
  • - I'm dependent on this for rest.
  • 00:05:43.020 --> 00:05:44.000
  • I'm dependent on this for joy.
  • 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:45.150
  • I'm dependent on this for another day to be numb.
  • 00:05:45.150 --> 00:05:48.020
  • I'm dependent on this, it's gotta be different between
  • 00:05:48.020 --> 00:05:50.200
  • relaxing, enjoying, having time for margin,
  • 00:05:50.200 --> 00:05:54.090
  • as opposed to finding my dependence
  • 00:05:54.090 --> 00:05:57.070
  • and rest and soul care solely through this.
  • 00:05:57.070 --> 00:06:00.130
  • - [Holly] Or it's a need to control something.
  • 00:06:00.130 --> 00:06:02.010
  • - This TV show--
  • 00:06:02.010 --> 00:06:02.290
  • yeah.
  • 00:06:02.290 --> 00:06:03.240
  • - Because if you--
  • 00:06:03.240 --> 00:06:05.010
  • if your whole life is chaos, then you go,
  • 00:06:05.010 --> 00:06:07.100
  • "This is the one thing I can control so I'm going to
  • 00:06:07.100 --> 00:06:10.170
  • "diet, I'm just gonna be on this diet
  • 00:06:10.170 --> 00:06:12.140
  • "'cause I can control this."
  • 00:06:12.140 --> 00:06:14.050
  • Right, so I think it's also,
  • 00:06:14.050 --> 00:06:15.190
  • if we feel the need to have to control something,
  • 00:06:15.190 --> 00:06:19.030
  • then that's where we can get in excess too.
  • 00:06:19.030 --> 00:06:20.200
  • It's like I need to control my life so I'm gonna
  • 00:06:20.200 --> 00:06:22.270
  • work 16 hours a day 'cause I can control it, right?
  • 00:06:22.270 --> 00:06:26.040
  • - And so you wouldn't recognize that
  • 00:06:26.040 --> 00:06:27.290
  • as being something wrong.
  • 00:06:27.290 --> 00:06:29.170
  • - [Kelly] Right.
  • 00:06:29.170 --> 00:06:31.020
  • - You know, like what's wrong with working 16 hours a day?
  • 00:06:31.020 --> 00:06:32.230
  • What's wrong with sitting around watching television?
  • 00:06:32.230 --> 00:06:35.180
  • Because everything that
  • 00:06:35.180 --> 00:06:37.110
  • is say, a bad habit
  • 00:06:38.150 --> 00:06:39.290
  • doesn't always look like it's something bad for you.
  • 00:06:39.290 --> 00:06:44.030
  • - Well you have to look at the repercussions.
  • 00:06:44.030 --> 00:06:46.080
  • Are you not taking care of yourself, your family,
  • 00:06:46.080 --> 00:06:50.160
  • your responsibilities?
  • 00:06:50.160 --> 00:06:52.130
  • I mean, that's what they wanna know, they wanna know
  • 00:06:52.130 --> 00:06:54.150
  • when do I know that it's a bad habit.
  • 00:06:54.150 --> 00:06:56.130
  • How can I, you know, decide that is too much is too much?
  • 00:06:56.130 --> 00:07:00.140
  • Is it getting--
  • 00:07:01.210 --> 00:07:02.160
  • are you limited?
  • 00:07:02.160 --> 00:07:03.110
  • Is it limiting you?
  • 00:07:03.110 --> 00:07:05.020
  • Is it thwarting your goals and your dreams?
  • 00:07:05.020 --> 00:07:08.180
  • You know, there are some people who are gonna struggle
  • 00:07:08.180 --> 00:07:10.210
  • with a habit their whole life.
  • 00:07:10.210 --> 00:07:13.030
  • They may have an addiction that they do good for a while
  • 00:07:13.030 --> 00:07:16.030
  • and then find themselves going back so
  • 00:07:16.030 --> 00:07:18.100
  • there are times that, you know, you may struggle
  • 00:07:18.100 --> 00:07:21.030
  • a lifetime with a habit.
  • 00:07:21.030 --> 00:07:23.090
  • But you can get up again
  • 00:07:23.090 --> 00:07:25.050
  • and you can go again.
  • 00:07:25.050 --> 00:07:26.050
  • I think it's recognizing--
  • 00:07:26.050 --> 00:07:27.190
  • which I love that question because they're saying
  • 00:07:27.190 --> 00:07:29.100
  • I wanna recognize what's limiting me.
  • 00:07:29.100 --> 00:07:32.010
  • I wanna recognize it because you could just
  • 00:07:32.010 --> 00:07:34.160
  • change out a habit.
  • 00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:36.010
  • You know, you could just well, I'm not gonna do this
  • 00:07:36.010 --> 00:07:37.280
  • but I'll go do that.
  • 00:07:37.280 --> 00:07:38.260
  • - That's exactly what happens!
  • 00:07:38.260 --> 00:07:40.030
  • - You have to really identify,
  • 00:07:40.030 --> 00:07:43.080
  • you know, why you're doing it,
  • 00:07:43.080 --> 00:07:45.080
  • you know, which is great.
  • 00:07:45.080 --> 00:07:46.230
  • If you can get someone to help you drill down to that
  • 00:07:46.230 --> 00:07:48.230
  • and figure out the why behind you're doing it
  • 00:07:48.230 --> 00:07:50.290
  • but also just to recognize that this is limiting to me.
  • 00:07:50.290 --> 00:07:54.170
  • - I think when we recognize that we are doing something
  • 00:07:54.170 --> 00:07:58.090
  • that keeps us
  • 00:07:58.090 --> 00:08:00.060
  • limited, maybe that's standing between us, and our goal,
  • 00:08:00.060 --> 00:08:04.160
  • our dreams, or even a family member or relationship,
  • 00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:08.070
  • that's when we need to back up, we need to re-evaluate
  • 00:08:08.070 --> 00:08:11.170
  • what is this?
  • 00:08:11.170 --> 00:08:13.030
  • Is this habit worth not getting to where I need to be?
  • 00:08:13.030 --> 00:08:17.210
  • And when we understand that habits are so important,
  • 00:08:17.210 --> 00:08:20.230
  • I believe we can start changing those habits
  • 00:08:20.230 --> 00:08:23.050
  • just one at a time so we can get to where we need to be.
  • 00:08:23.050 --> 00:08:26.140
  • - A habit is something that you do perpetually.
  • 00:08:26.140 --> 00:08:29.080
  • You just don't even pay attention to,
  • 00:08:29.080 --> 00:08:31.230
  • you just get caught up in this system, in this cycle,
  • 00:08:31.230 --> 00:08:35.110
  • and it's a constant but what you said, which is
  • 00:08:35.110 --> 00:08:38.020
  • I love about how you have to recognize
  • 00:08:38.020 --> 00:08:40.220
  • when does it interfere with life.
  • 00:08:40.220 --> 00:08:43.070
  • - Yeah, that was a good way of putting it.
  • 00:08:43.070 --> 00:08:44.280
  • Or your family, like when also do you see,
  • 00:08:44.280 --> 00:08:46.220
  • oh, my family is suffering because of--
  • 00:08:46.220 --> 00:08:49.070
  • - Yeah, I'm staying on my phone 24 hours.
  • 00:08:49.070 --> 00:08:51.200
  • I'm not having
  • 00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:52.270
  • a conversation. - Listen, that's,
  • 00:08:52.270 --> 00:08:53.250
  • that's a whole other thing.
  • 00:08:53.250 --> 00:08:54.180
  • There are some people--
  • 00:08:54.180 --> 00:08:55.120
  • - But that's a habit.
  • 00:08:55.120 --> 00:08:56.080
  • - It's a habit.
  • 00:08:56.080 --> 00:08:57.210
  • That's a habit
  • 00:08:57.210 --> 00:08:58.270
  • that needs to be broken.
  • 00:08:58.270 --> 00:09:00.050
  • - I think there was some study that was done
  • 00:09:00.050 --> 00:09:01.130
  • that talked about what's happening in the brains
  • 00:09:01.130 --> 00:09:03.280
  • of people.
  • 00:09:03.280 --> 00:09:05.080
  • - [Dee Dee] It's stimulating. - It is just like
  • 00:09:05.080 --> 00:09:06.020
  • any narcotic.
  • 00:09:06.020 --> 00:09:06.270
  • - Right.
  • 00:09:06.270 --> 00:09:08.080
  • - This I'm doing the scrolling, it feeds that need
  • 00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:10.190
  • and it's like, oof, that's just as much habit as
  • 00:09:10.190 --> 00:09:13.240
  • anything else. - It's an addiction.
  • 00:09:13.240 --> 00:09:15.020
  • Anything that becomes an addiction and you put--
  • 00:09:15.020 --> 00:09:17.170
  • the scripture
  • 00:09:17.170 --> 00:09:18.120
  • in Songs of Solomon, it talks about how
  • 00:09:19.170 --> 00:09:21.180
  • it's the little foxes that destroy the vine.
  • 00:09:21.180 --> 00:09:24.190
  • And if you can realize just it's the little thing
  • 00:09:24.190 --> 00:09:27.290
  • that gnaws at you that will eventually destroy
  • 00:09:27.290 --> 00:09:31.060
  • a lot about you.
  • 00:09:31.060 --> 00:09:33.060
  • When you can recognize that, then you'll be more prone
  • 00:09:33.060 --> 00:09:35.260
  • to saying,
  • 00:09:35.260 --> 00:09:36.240
  • "I need to break this habit.
  • 00:09:36.240 --> 00:09:38.070
  • "I need to get away from this thing right here because
  • 00:09:38.070 --> 00:09:41.070
  • "it's about to interfere with something greater."
  • 00:09:41.070 --> 00:09:44.100
  • - You know, as we've been speaking about
  • 00:09:44.100 --> 00:09:44.110
  • - You know, as we've been speaking about
  • 00:09:45.080 --> 00:09:46.020
  • in this conversation, habits are a good thing.
  • 00:09:46.070 --> 00:09:48.200
  • There are good habits and then there are not good habits.
  • 00:09:48.200 --> 00:09:51.130
  • When they become a problem
  • 00:09:51.130 --> 00:09:52.270
  • is when a habit becomes destructive.
  • 00:09:52.270 --> 00:09:55.230
  • So is it destructive to your family?
  • 00:09:55.230 --> 00:09:57.290
  • Is it destructive to your health?
  • 00:09:57.290 --> 00:09:59.280
  • Is it destructive to your soul?
  • 00:09:59.280 --> 00:10:01.160
  • Is it destructive to your future?
  • 00:10:01.160 --> 00:10:02.260
  • Is it messing up what you really want?
  • 00:10:02.260 --> 00:10:05.130
  • So that's why you have to be honest.
  • 00:10:05.130 --> 00:10:07.270
  • If the reason you keep eating is because
  • 00:10:07.270 --> 00:10:12.030
  • you feel stressed and sad but you know that the end result
  • 00:10:12.030 --> 00:10:14.290
  • is that's not gonna help you reach what you wanna reach
  • 00:10:14.290 --> 00:10:17.150
  • then you gotta start dealing with that.
  • 00:10:17.150 --> 00:10:18.290
  • And if the reason you are shopping,
  • 00:10:18.290 --> 00:10:21.030
  • which you know, Dee Dee mentioned,
  • 00:10:21.030 --> 00:10:22.180
  • if the reason you're shopping is to make you feel good
  • 00:10:22.180 --> 00:10:24.120
  • about yourself then it's probably not gonna help you
  • 00:10:24.120 --> 00:10:25.280
  • get out of debt.
  • 00:10:25.280 --> 00:10:26.240
  • So it's how--
  • 00:10:26.240 --> 00:10:28.040
  • it's like is what you're doing keeping you from
  • 00:10:28.040 --> 00:10:31.140
  • living the life that you wanna live?
  • 00:10:31.140 --> 00:10:32.250
  • And so then get some help.
  • 00:10:32.250 --> 00:10:35.070
  • Sometimes some habits you can't break by yourself.
  • 00:10:35.070 --> 00:10:38.260
  • And Christianity was never meant to be a faith
  • 00:10:38.260 --> 00:10:42.030
  • that's worked out in isolation, ever.
  • 00:10:42.030 --> 00:10:44.110
  • It's a communal faith.
  • 00:10:44.110 --> 00:10:45.230
  • It's learning and growing together,
  • 00:10:45.230 --> 00:10:47.230
  • it's asking questions together, it's getting people
  • 00:10:47.230 --> 00:10:50.020
  • around you so sometimes to break some of the habits
  • 00:10:50.020 --> 00:10:52.250
  • that are destroying you, you have to get
  • 00:10:52.250 --> 00:10:54.200
  • some friends around you
  • 00:10:54.200 --> 00:10:56.170
  • to encourage you, challenge you, help you,
  • 00:10:56.170 --> 00:10:58.150
  • hold you accountable, truly.
  • 00:10:58.150 --> 00:11:00.280
  • And work it out together.
  • 00:11:00.280 --> 00:11:03.040
  • Sometimes we're not--
  • 00:11:03.040 --> 00:11:03.290
  • well actually, I know--
  • 00:11:03.290 --> 00:11:05.100
  • you'll never reach the potential that God has for you,
  • 00:11:05.100 --> 00:11:06.280
  • you'll never fill the destiny God has for you
  • 00:11:06.280 --> 00:11:09.040
  • on your own, you just won't.
  • 00:11:09.040 --> 00:11:09.290
  • So, it leads together.
  • 00:11:09.290 --> 00:11:11.140
  • - Theresa asks,
  • 00:11:13.260 --> 00:11:15.040
  • "What's the best way to start being transformed
  • 00:11:15.040 --> 00:11:17.050
  • "by the renewing of your mind?"
  • 00:11:17.050 --> 00:11:18.200
  • - That's a good question, too because we all need
  • 00:11:18.200 --> 00:11:21.090
  • our mind renewed.
  • 00:11:21.090 --> 00:11:22.160
  • I mean, every day we need to renew our mind
  • 00:11:22.160 --> 00:11:25.040
  • and I think the best way is to think about
  • 00:11:25.040 --> 00:11:27.290
  • what you're thinking about
  • 00:11:27.290 --> 00:11:29.140
  • and give it to God.
  • 00:11:29.140 --> 00:11:30.220
  • You know, you may have some habits where you
  • 00:11:30.220 --> 00:11:33.020
  • talk negative about yourself or
  • 00:11:33.020 --> 00:11:35.050
  • you know, you see the wrong and things that are wrong
  • 00:11:35.050 --> 00:11:38.050
  • instead of things that are right.
  • 00:11:38.050 --> 00:11:39.190
  • These little things can cause so much trouble
  • 00:11:39.190 --> 00:11:42.280
  • in our life and so I really think that we need to
  • 00:11:42.280 --> 00:11:45.120
  • think about what we're thinking about
  • 00:11:45.120 --> 00:11:47.150
  • and we need to take it and put it under the submission
  • 00:11:47.150 --> 00:11:49.260
  • of God because God wants us
  • 00:11:49.260 --> 00:11:52.000
  • to have a positive attitude of faith.
  • 00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:54.180
  • You know, we can't fix everything,
  • 00:11:54.180 --> 00:11:56.240
  • but we can find those things that are right.
  • 00:11:56.240 --> 00:11:59.130
  • And so that's what I've tried to do.
  • 00:11:59.130 --> 00:12:00.280
  • I've tried to start looking at things that are
  • 00:12:00.280 --> 00:12:02.210
  • going right in my life, and not going wrong in my life,
  • 00:12:02.210 --> 00:12:05.180
  • and really spending time with the Lord and letting him
  • 00:12:05.180 --> 00:12:08.130
  • transform my mind because the Bible says that
  • 00:12:08.130 --> 00:12:11.030
  • he's the one who transforms it.
  • 00:12:11.030 --> 00:12:12.170
  • And you know it's interesting because sometimes
  • 00:12:12.170 --> 00:12:14.060
  • I read my Bible
  • 00:12:14.060 --> 00:12:15.210
  • and I don't necessarily get a lot out of that day.
  • 00:12:15.210 --> 00:12:18.200
  • You know, maybe I'm
  • 00:12:18.200 --> 00:12:20.140
  • halfway there or something
  • 00:12:20.140 --> 00:12:22.160
  • but I remind myself that these aren't just any words.
  • 00:12:22.160 --> 00:12:26.100
  • These aren't words like you read in a book,
  • 00:12:26.100 --> 00:12:28.120
  • another book or a newspaper, these are God breathed words
  • 00:12:28.120 --> 00:12:31.210
  • so put 'em in and believe that God will do the changing
  • 00:12:31.210 --> 00:12:35.070
  • and the transforming.
  • 00:12:35.070 --> 00:12:37.010
  • At "Better Together," we don't just do TV,
  • 00:12:37.010 --> 00:12:39.090
  • we do life together.
  • 00:12:39.090 --> 00:12:40.180
  • - We love the way our social media community
  • 00:12:40.180 --> 00:12:42.260
  • encourages and supports each other.
  • 00:12:42.260 --> 00:12:44.180
  • - Follow us at BetterTogetherTV to make friends
  • 00:12:44.180 --> 00:12:47.130
  • with women around the world and let's get...
  • 00:12:47.130 --> 00:12:49.160
  • - [All] Better together.
  • 00:12:49.160 --> 00:12:50.230
  • - That's what I love about the scripture,
  • 00:12:54.080 --> 00:12:56.190
  • that's what I love about God is that he's the God of
  • 00:12:56.190 --> 00:12:58.290
  • second, third, fourth chances and
  • 00:12:58.290 --> 00:13:01.020
  • everyday is a new beginning.
  • 00:13:01.020 --> 00:13:02.280
  • - It is.
  • 00:13:02.280 --> 00:13:04.050
  • Every day. - Every hour is a startover.
  • 00:13:04.050 --> 00:13:05.120
  • You know, you can reset the refresh button,
  • 00:13:05.120 --> 00:13:08.190
  • you know?
  • 00:13:08.190 --> 00:13:09.140
  • And you can say,
  • 00:13:09.140 --> 00:13:10.210
  • "Okay, I've caught myself doing this or
  • 00:13:10.210 --> 00:13:12.180
  • "I did that yesterday, I don't have to get down,
  • 00:13:12.180 --> 00:13:14.250
  • "I don't have to get discouraged
  • 00:13:14.250 --> 00:13:16.110
  • "because that's just gonna cause me--
  • 00:13:16.110 --> 00:13:17.240
  • "It's gonna drive me to that habit more
  • 00:13:17.240 --> 00:13:19.130
  • "but I can get up and I can say
  • 00:13:19.130 --> 00:13:21.120
  • "today's a new day."
  • 00:13:21.120 --> 00:13:22.240
  • You know, I'm gonna set my focus, align myself
  • 00:13:22.240 --> 00:13:25.070
  • with my purpose, my destiny.
  • 00:13:25.070 --> 00:13:27.030
  • And I just think when we continue to try to do that,
  • 00:13:27.030 --> 00:13:31.010
  • these distractions and these undercurrents
  • 00:13:31.010 --> 00:13:33.010
  • that try to pull us away, you know,
  • 00:13:33.010 --> 00:13:35.030
  • will realign us to our purpose and our plans
  • 00:13:35.030 --> 00:13:37.290
  • and things that really fulfill our heart,
  • 00:13:37.290 --> 00:13:39.160
  • the dreams that we have.
  • 00:13:39.160 --> 00:13:40.230
  • - But that's a habit.
  • 00:13:40.230 --> 00:13:42.030
  • That could be a habit. - That's a habit.
  • 00:13:42.030 --> 00:13:43.240
  • That's a good habit.
  • 00:13:43.240 --> 00:13:45.000
  • - That's a great habit, to wake up every day
  • 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:46.270
  • and to decide that and know where you're gonna go.
  • 00:13:46.270 --> 00:13:50.050
  • If we can just replace a good habit with a bad habit.
  • 00:13:50.050 --> 00:13:54.160
  • - Yeah, I think that's powerful.
  • 00:13:54.160 --> 00:13:56.040
  • - No, other way around.
  • 00:13:56.040 --> 00:13:57.120
  • Replace a bad habit with a good habit.
  • 00:13:57.120 --> 00:13:58.240
  • - Oh yeah, okay.
  • 00:13:58.240 --> 00:14:00.030
  • (laughter)
  • 00:14:00.030 --> 00:14:01.010
  • See, I'm glad you're here.
  • 00:14:01.010 --> 00:14:01.290
  • That's why you're in my life.
  • 00:14:01.290 --> 00:14:02.230
  • We're better together.
  • 00:14:02.230 --> 00:14:03.170
  • - That's powerful, yeah.
  • 00:14:03.170 --> 00:14:04.240
  • - [Dee Dee] We're better together.
  • 00:14:04.240 --> 00:14:06.070
  • - You know, I think we all need to re-evaluate our habits.
  • 00:14:06.070 --> 00:14:09.050
  • We need to sit back and see what's working
  • 00:14:09.050 --> 00:14:11.020
  • and what's not working.
  • 00:14:11.020 --> 00:14:12.170
  • I know for myself, there are habits that I wanna break
  • 00:14:12.170 --> 00:14:15.270
  • and there are habits that I need to look at
  • 00:14:15.270 --> 00:14:18.210
  • but then again, there are habits
  • 00:14:18.210 --> 00:14:20.220
  • that I may deal with for a lifetime
  • 00:14:20.220 --> 00:14:22.290
  • but I can never give up.
  • 00:14:22.290 --> 00:14:24.150
  • Every day's a new day.
  • 00:14:24.150 --> 00:14:26.020
  • You can begin again, you can say today
  • 00:14:26.020 --> 00:14:28.100
  • I'm gonna do better than I did yesterday.
  • 00:14:28.100 --> 00:14:30.220
  • I heard someone say something, they were like,
  • 00:14:30.220 --> 00:14:32.290
  • they were in a bad mood, it was just,
  • 00:14:32.290 --> 00:14:34.150
  • they had heard something, it's that habit
  • 00:14:34.150 --> 00:14:36.070
  • of just getting down and discouraged and
  • 00:14:36.070 --> 00:14:38.190
  • they were just like, just clap your hands.
  • 00:14:38.190 --> 00:14:41.020
  • You know?
  • 00:14:41.020 --> 00:14:41.270
  • Same person,
  • 00:14:41.270 --> 00:14:43.100
  • new attitude.
  • 00:14:43.100 --> 00:14:45.060
  • You know, just
  • 00:14:45.060 --> 00:14:46.070
  • (claps)
  • 00:14:46.070 --> 00:14:47.230
  • you can change in an instant when you get in the habit of
  • 00:14:47.230 --> 00:14:50.040
  • recognizing it.
  • 00:14:50.040 --> 00:14:51.120
  • You know, just like hey, wait a minute.
  • 00:14:51.120 --> 00:14:52.220
  • - [Laurie] It's a trigger.
  • 00:14:52.220 --> 00:14:54.060
  • - [Dee Dee] It's a trigger. - Yeah, just right here.
  • 00:14:54.060 --> 00:14:54.270
  • Okay.
  • 00:14:54.270 --> 00:14:56.010
  • I got a new attitude.
  • 00:14:56.010 --> 00:14:57.160
  • I'm putting on a new attitude, you know?
  • 00:14:57.160 --> 00:14:59.190
  • - I like what you said about people being plugged in
  • 00:14:59.190 --> 00:15:02.020
  • to who they are and finding
  • 00:15:02.020 --> 00:15:04.230
  • who they are and certainty into who they are
  • 00:15:04.230 --> 00:15:07.190
  • and that will help them kinda discover because
  • 00:15:07.190 --> 00:15:10.020
  • otherwise, they might just heal this one habit
  • 00:15:10.020 --> 00:15:13.020
  • and go to another habit.
  • 00:15:13.020 --> 00:15:14.150
  • If they don't heal the root issue of why they have
  • 00:15:14.150 --> 00:15:16.180
  • that negative habit in the first place,
  • 00:15:16.180 --> 00:15:18.140
  • if they're not plugged in, if they're not having an
  • 00:15:18.140 --> 00:15:21.010
  • inventory of how are they reacting to it
  • 00:15:21.010 --> 00:15:23.180
  • or having self-awareness to see how it's affecting
  • 00:15:23.180 --> 00:15:25.240
  • people in their lives, then they'll just go from
  • 00:15:25.240 --> 00:15:28.000
  • maybe this addiction to now, I'm gonna get rid
  • 00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:31.120
  • of this addiction but now I'm gonna go to full-time ministry
  • 00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:33.270
  • as a new addiction and not heal the hurt
  • 00:15:33.270 --> 00:15:36.180
  • that causes addiction in the first place
  • 00:15:36.180 --> 00:15:38.290
  • and sometimes some habits look good.
  • 00:15:38.290 --> 00:15:40.110
  • And that's why I mentioned ministries 'cause
  • 00:15:40.110 --> 00:15:42.040
  • there's things like being full-time ministry or
  • 00:15:42.040 --> 00:15:44.280
  • doing other like, good deeds.
  • 00:15:44.280 --> 00:15:45.280
  • - Even working.
  • 00:15:45.280 --> 00:15:47.100
  • It's like working, I wanna work--
  • 00:15:47.100 --> 00:15:48.080
  • - But sometimes just a good--
  • 00:15:48.080 --> 00:15:49.060
  • innately, this is a good thing.
  • 00:15:49.060 --> 00:15:50.140
  • I should be working hard.
  • 00:15:50.140 --> 00:15:51.250
  • Of course, I need to be working hard and provide
  • 00:15:51.250 --> 00:15:53.080
  • for my family.
  • 00:15:53.080 --> 00:15:54.280
  • Of course I need to be volunteering at church, you know?
  • 00:15:54.280 --> 00:15:56.130
  • And so I think sometimes if we don't heal the root issue,
  • 00:15:56.130 --> 00:15:58.230
  • then the habit is just a surface level of the
  • 00:15:58.230 --> 00:16:02.040
  • inner-root--
  • 00:16:02.040 --> 00:16:03.160
  • - It's a symptom
  • 00:16:03.160 --> 00:16:04.220
  • of a problem. - It's a symptom.
  • 00:16:04.220 --> 00:16:06.000
  • And if you don't heal the problem, then you
  • 00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:07.250
  • might be going to seemingly good habits.
  • 00:16:07.250 --> 00:16:11.120
  • When it comes to breaking habits,
  • 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:13.020
  • I know that there are options in the world
  • 00:16:13.020 --> 00:16:15.280
  • to help us with habits.
  • 00:16:15.280 --> 00:16:17.070
  • There's great programs, there's great systems,
  • 00:16:17.070 --> 00:16:19.230
  • there's great apps, there's great books,
  • 00:16:19.230 --> 00:16:22.010
  • there's a lot of resources to help us break habits.
  • 00:16:22.010 --> 00:16:25.230
  • And sometimes if we're just intentional
  • 00:16:25.230 --> 00:16:27.070
  • with those resources, they can really help us.
  • 00:16:27.070 --> 00:16:29.140
  • But something about Jesus specifically is that he
  • 00:16:29.140 --> 00:16:32.170
  • wants to
  • 00:16:32.170 --> 00:16:34.160
  • do more than just help you with that surface level habit,
  • 00:16:34.160 --> 00:16:37.010
  • he wants to heal the hurt that's making you go
  • 00:16:37.010 --> 00:16:39.160
  • to that habit, or that addiction, or that routine
  • 00:16:39.160 --> 00:16:42.080
  • in the first place.
  • 00:16:42.080 --> 00:16:43.200
  • And so something that programs can't provide for you.
  • 00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:46.150
  • Something that apps can't do for you
  • 00:16:46.150 --> 00:16:48.140
  • is the inner healing that Jesus wants to do
  • 00:16:48.140 --> 00:16:50.110
  • to make us go to these other places or other vices
  • 00:16:50.110 --> 00:16:53.240
  • for us to feel fulfilled.
  • 00:16:53.240 --> 00:16:55.090
  • So Jesus wants to heal the hurt that makes us go there
  • 00:16:55.090 --> 00:16:58.190
  • in the first place.
  • 00:16:58.190 --> 00:16:59.230
  • (mellow music)
  • 00:16:59.230 --> 00:17:01.220
  • - Amy asks,
  • 00:17:01.220 --> 00:17:03.080
  • "How would you help a great friend
  • 00:17:03.080 --> 00:17:05.270
  • "who is in a toxic relationship?
  • 00:17:05.270 --> 00:17:08.140
  • "They keep making excuses of their significant other,
  • 00:17:08.140 --> 00:17:11.190
  • "they go through the highs and lows of being
  • 00:17:11.190 --> 00:17:14.130
  • "with an alcoholic."
  • 00:17:14.130 --> 00:17:16.050
  • - That's tough because I feel like I have
  • 00:17:16.050 --> 00:17:18.180
  • a couple of friends in my life where they go through
  • 00:17:18.180 --> 00:17:20.270
  • similar things but they're very different relationships.
  • 00:17:20.270 --> 00:17:24.140
  • - We long for attention that we haven't received before
  • 00:17:24.140 --> 00:17:28.200
  • and so she could be remaining in this relationship
  • 00:17:28.200 --> 00:17:31.060
  • because it's satisfying to her flesh, if you will.
  • 00:17:31.060 --> 00:17:35.070
  • And so the best friend advice that I would give you
  • 00:17:35.070 --> 00:17:38.170
  • is to pray for her, to be there for her,
  • 00:17:38.170 --> 00:17:41.030
  • to allow her to talk just like Hosanna said because
  • 00:17:41.030 --> 00:17:44.040
  • sometimes they just need an ear.
  • 00:17:44.040 --> 00:17:45.250
  • And so if you would just be a friend
  • 00:17:45.250 --> 00:17:48.110
  • and really love her and listen to her genuinely.
  • 00:17:48.110 --> 00:17:51.150
  • - I think so. - Right?
  • 00:17:51.150 --> 00:17:52.160
  • - We're rooting for you, Amy.
  • 00:17:52.160 --> 00:17:53.110
  • - Yeah, we're rooting
  • 00:17:53.110 --> 00:17:54.170
  • for you, Amy. - And your friend.
  • 00:17:54.170 --> 00:17:56.000
  • - You can stream "Better Together" episodes on the go.
  • 00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:57.220
  • - Download the TBN app to watch our latest conversations.
  • 00:17:57.220 --> 00:18:00.240
  • (mellow music)
  • 00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:03.120
  • (mellow music)
  • 00:18:06.030 --> 00:18:07.080
  • - Well first of all, we have to realize and recognize that
  • 00:18:07.100 --> 00:18:09.010
  • habits is what all of us operate in.
  • 00:18:09.010 --> 00:18:12.190
  • I mean, habits really,
  • 00:18:12.190 --> 00:18:14.240
  • it says a lot about you, it shows routine,
  • 00:18:14.240 --> 00:18:17.290
  • it gives predictability, but how do you recognize
  • 00:18:17.290 --> 00:18:21.270
  • the bad habits is what they wanna, you know,
  • 00:18:21.270 --> 00:18:24.060
  • really address.
  • 00:18:24.060 --> 00:18:25.120
  • - When the wheel start falling off--
  • 00:18:25.120 --> 00:18:26.130
  • - When the wheels--
  • 00:18:26.130 --> 00:18:27.230
  • - [Laurie] Somewhere in your life.
  • 00:18:27.230 --> 00:18:29.110
  • - And that's the poi--
  • 00:18:29.110 --> 00:18:30.160
  • and I guess the other thing I was just
  • 00:18:30.160 --> 00:18:31.210
  • even wanted to listen to the question
  • 00:18:31.210 --> 00:18:33.020
  • because it made me think are you--
  • 00:18:33.020 --> 00:18:35.090
  • I mean, we've answered it--
  • 00:18:35.090 --> 00:18:36.160
  • or a lot of it for that particular person but
  • 00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:38.060
  • are you asking it for someone else?
  • 00:18:38.060 --> 00:18:39.260
  • So is there someone in your world that you think
  • 00:18:39.260 --> 00:18:42.240
  • things are going out of control?
  • 00:18:42.240 --> 00:18:44.240
  • So this is, I guess, my caution there would be
  • 00:18:44.240 --> 00:18:48.090
  • you can ask questions of that person
  • 00:18:48.090 --> 00:18:50.150
  • but they have to figure it out on their own.
  • 00:18:50.150 --> 00:18:52.020
  • It's just like if you're deal--
  • 00:18:52.020 --> 00:18:53.160
  • if you're living with someone with an addiction,
  • 00:18:53.160 --> 00:18:55.110
  • then you can start asking questions and you can
  • 00:18:55.110 --> 00:18:57.100
  • draw the boundaries, but you can't control them.
  • 00:18:57.100 --> 00:18:59.180
  • If you start saying,
  • 00:18:59.180 --> 00:19:00.270
  • "This is in excess and you have--"
  • 00:19:00.270 --> 00:19:02.030
  • you're not, it's not gonna fix them.
  • 00:19:02.030 --> 00:19:03.230
  • - Well are you going into financial debt
  • 00:19:03.230 --> 00:19:06.060
  • because of your shopping?
  • 00:19:06.060 --> 00:19:07.210
  • Is that where you're putting your joy and your satisfaction
  • 00:19:07.210 --> 00:19:10.250
  • by healing whatever that temporary fix?
  • 00:19:10.250 --> 00:19:13.170
  • And that's what God wants to heal, it's the why.
  • 00:19:13.170 --> 00:19:17.060
  • - It's the why.
  • 00:19:17.060 --> 00:19:18.200
  • - The not what you do, it's why you do it, you know?
  • 00:19:18.200 --> 00:19:20.130
  • And everything in moderation.
  • 00:19:20.130 --> 00:19:23.080
  • I think if you're children are suffering, if your husband's
  • 00:19:23.080 --> 00:19:25.240
  • tired of you being on your phone,
  • 00:19:25.240 --> 00:19:27.210
  • you know and it's--
  • 00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:30.000
  • - It's creating a problem. - Creating a problem,
  • 00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:31.260
  • do you need to stop
  • 00:19:31.260 --> 00:19:33.290
  • looking at your phone?
  • 00:19:33.290 --> 00:19:36.010
  • So God says,
  • 00:19:36.010 --> 00:19:37.180
  • "You shall have no other gods beside me."
  • 00:19:37.180 --> 00:19:40.220
  • (laughs)
  • 00:19:40.220 --> 00:19:42.070
  • And I think sometimes we have all these little gods
  • 00:19:42.070 --> 00:19:44.000
  • in our life that we run to first instead of taking
  • 00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:47.190
  • our problems, our troubles,
  • 00:19:47.190 --> 00:19:49.160
  • life's situations to him first.
  • 00:19:49.160 --> 00:19:52.220
  • And that's what he wants to do.
  • 00:19:52.220 --> 00:19:54.080
  • He wants to satisfy every need that you have.
  • 00:19:54.080 --> 00:19:58.040
  • And so you know, you might run to chocolate,
  • 00:19:58.040 --> 00:20:01.070
  • you might run to food, you might run to the mall,
  • 00:20:01.070 --> 00:20:05.150
  • you might run to places you know you should not be
  • 00:20:05.150 --> 00:20:09.120
  • and taking things you know you shouldn't be taking.
  • 00:20:09.120 --> 00:20:12.110
  • Jesus wants to meet that need for you
  • 00:20:13.160 --> 00:20:17.060
  • because he is everything we need.
  • 00:20:17.060 --> 00:20:20.070
  • And so we call on him.
  • 00:20:20.070 --> 00:20:22.060
  • He says,
  • 00:20:22.060 --> 00:20:23.130
  • "You call on me and I'll answer you."
  • 00:20:23.130 --> 00:20:24.170
  • So I think just getting in the habit of
  • 00:20:24.170 --> 00:20:27.130
  • okay, before I eat that,
  • 00:20:27.130 --> 00:20:29.110
  • Father, I'm just gonna pray about that right now.
  • 00:20:29.110 --> 00:20:32.020
  • And take it to him first.
  • 00:20:32.020 --> 00:20:33.170
  • And it's kinda amazing what I think he'll do for ya.
  • 00:20:33.170 --> 00:20:36.290
  • - Some people are tired of their own habits.
  • 00:20:36.290 --> 00:20:40.010
  • - Yeah, I get tired of some of mine.
  • 00:20:40.010 --> 00:20:42.090
  • - You know, and so it's like breaking the cycle that,
  • 00:20:42.090 --> 00:20:45.130
  • you know, how do you break the cycle
  • 00:20:45.130 --> 00:20:46.240
  • of these habits?
  • 00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:48.090
  • And you just, you know, the only thing you can do is
  • 00:20:48.090 --> 00:20:50.170
  • just try to replace it with something more beneficial.
  • 00:20:50.170 --> 00:20:54.190
  • You know?
  • 00:20:54.190 --> 00:20:56.050
  • If you're gonna erase if, you have to replace it.
  • 00:20:56.050 --> 00:20:57.170
  • So you can't just leave it empty
  • 00:20:57.170 --> 00:20:59.050
  • so you have to put something in.
  • 00:20:59.050 --> 00:21:01.120
  • - You can't just say,
  • 00:21:01.120 --> 00:21:02.190
  • "I'm not gonna smoke, I'm not gonna smoke,
  • 00:21:02.190 --> 00:21:03.130
  • "I'm not gonna smoke."
  • 00:21:03.130 --> 00:21:04.190
  • That's not gonna make you stop smoking.
  • 00:21:04.190 --> 00:21:05.270
  • - But really, that's what they talk about
  • 00:21:05.270 --> 00:21:07.070
  • in behavior therapy, how you--
  • 00:21:07.070 --> 00:21:09.270
  • 'cause this is psychology of habits how,
  • 00:21:09.270 --> 00:21:12.050
  • you know, we have these habits and we create 'em
  • 00:21:12.050 --> 00:21:14.280
  • because of the feel that comes from it
  • 00:21:14.280 --> 00:21:17.240
  • once you create it.
  • 00:21:17.240 --> 00:21:19.010
  • Like I smoke a cigarette because it's relaxing.
  • 00:21:19.010 --> 00:21:22.210
  • You know, like, okay, I think about this trigger.
  • 00:21:22.210 --> 00:21:24.180
  • The trigger is food, now I know I have to eat
  • 00:21:24.180 --> 00:21:26.290
  • but now think about this cigarette here
  • 00:21:26.290 --> 00:21:29.070
  • and how I think about the satisfaction that comes
  • 00:21:29.070 --> 00:21:32.110
  • from smoking this cigarette and so I smoke
  • 00:21:32.110 --> 00:21:35.020
  • because of the satisfaction.
  • 00:21:35.020 --> 00:21:36.190
  • So now what do we do?
  • 00:21:36.190 --> 00:21:38.060
  • You have to almost punish what's rewarding you
  • 00:21:38.060 --> 00:21:42.270
  • from this feeling.
  • 00:21:42.270 --> 00:21:44.020
  • So now maybe I have to say,
  • 00:21:44.020 --> 00:21:45.210
  • "Okay, I'm gonna have to stay on the treadmill
  • 00:21:45.210 --> 00:21:47.270
  • "a little longer."
  • 00:21:47.270 --> 00:21:49.090
  • The more you punish something and you replace it,
  • 00:21:49.090 --> 00:21:52.070
  • then the more you take it out of your life.
  • 00:21:52.070 --> 00:21:54.130
  • It sounds, you know--
  • 00:21:54.130 --> 00:21:55.200
  • - Well that's what Paul said.
  • 00:21:55.200 --> 00:21:56.280
  • I beat my body, I put it under submission, I...
  • 00:21:56.280 --> 00:21:59.080
  • You know, it's kind of that same thing,
  • 00:21:59.080 --> 00:22:01.220
  • I control myself.
  • 00:22:01.220 --> 00:22:03.200
  • - You have to control yourself.
  • 00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:04.290
  • - [Victoria] I'm gonna control myself and--
  • 00:22:04.290 --> 00:22:06.020
  • - Discipline.
  • 00:22:06.020 --> 00:22:07.090
  • - Discipline, it's not always easy.
  • 00:22:07.090 --> 00:22:09.060
  • - Remember that song
  • 00:22:10.030 --> 00:22:10.180
  • Only Jesus can satisfy my soul
  • 00:22:10.290 --> 00:22:13.060
  • - [Holly] No, but sing it.
  • 00:22:13.060 --> 00:22:14.090
  • Only he
  • 00:22:14.090 --> 00:22:16.130
  • Can take my heart
  • 00:22:16.130 --> 00:22:17.290
  • And make it whole
  • 00:22:17.290 --> 00:22:19.120
  • - You know, God's mercy is fresh and new
  • 00:22:19.120 --> 00:22:19.150
  • - You know, God's mercy is fresh and new
  • 00:22:20.100 --> 00:22:22.010
  • every single day.
  • 00:22:22.010 --> 00:22:23.140
  • And we can receive his mercy for yesterday.
  • 00:22:23.140 --> 00:22:27.060
  • You see, today's a new day.
  • 00:22:27.060 --> 00:22:28.190
  • Today is going to be a better day.
  • 00:22:28.190 --> 00:22:31.230
  • Let me pray for you right now.
  • 00:22:31.230 --> 00:22:33.240
  • Father, I thank you that no habit is more powerful
  • 00:22:33.240 --> 00:22:36.250
  • than you are.
  • 00:22:36.250 --> 00:22:38.090
  • No habit can hold your people back, your children back.
  • 00:22:38.090 --> 00:22:42.120
  • So right now, I thank you, Father,
  • 00:22:42.120 --> 00:22:44.020
  • that you are breaking strongholds,
  • 00:22:44.020 --> 00:22:46.110
  • that you are causing people to see things
  • 00:22:46.110 --> 00:22:48.120
  • from a new perspective, have new energy,
  • 00:22:48.120 --> 00:22:51.090
  • and new vitality to move forward in the things
  • 00:22:51.090 --> 00:22:54.050
  • that you would have them to do.
  • 00:22:54.050 --> 00:22:56.050
  • - [Laurie] You can call the number on your screen right now
  • 00:22:56.050 --> 00:22:58.000
  • to talk to a prayer partner.
  • 00:22:58.000 --> 00:22:59.150
  • We're here for you 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
  • 00:22:59.150 --> 00:23:02.220
  • We love you and most importantly, God loves you.
  • 00:23:02.220 --> 00:23:05.190
  • - [Victoria] Here's what's coming up next week
  • 00:23:07.150 --> 00:23:08.210
  • on "Better Together."
  • 00:23:08.210 --> 00:23:09.250
  • - [Laurie] Watch "Better Together" weekdays
  • 00:23:23.180 --> 00:23:25.110
  • right here on TBN.
  • 00:23:25.110 --> 00:23:26.080
Show timecode
Hide timecode