The Power of Words | Better Together | TBN

The Power of Words | Better Together

Watch The Power of Words |  Better Together
June 10, 2019
26:55

Do the words we speak matter? Let's talk about it!  | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

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The Power of Words | Better Together

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  • - Words can build us up or they can tear us down.
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  • Today's conversation, is all about the power of our voice.
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  • (upbeat inspirational music)
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  • - Well, I love that verse in Proverbs.
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  • Proverbs 18:21 that says that,
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  • "Death and life is in the power of the tongue."
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  • But I think we say it so much,
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  • and not just people in the church,
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  • people outside the church. - But what does it mean?
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  • - We don't even know what it mean sometimes.
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  • Or some people don't know the weight
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  • of what that really means.
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  • How much power there is in your words.
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  • The words that are spoken,
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  • that there's so much power to bring people towards life
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  • or to bring people towards death.
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  • And I think that goes for the words you say over yourself,
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  • the words you speak about yourself,
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  • as well as the words you say about others.
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  • And how that shifts perspectives.
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  • And it causes people to make decisions towards action.
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  • I was looking up definitions of the word "ddeclare",
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  • what it means to declare something.
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  • I talked about how it's an announcement of your intention.
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  • Or an announcement of what side of a position you're on.
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  • I was thinking about when we declare things to people,
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  • when we declare words to people,
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  • individually or on stages or in situations,
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  • that you're declaring a statement
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  • of what side of a position you're on.
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  • And you're declaring a statement in their lives.
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  • And I feel that when I perform spoken word poetry or teach.
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  • I know you all feel it when you teach places.
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  • This change in the room, when you're declaring something
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  • to people, I declare,
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  • I'm announcing to you what side I'm on for you.
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  • I'm announcing to you the truth about your life.
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  • And I feel that at conferences, at churches.
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  • But I also feel a lot when I'm teaching on the streets
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  • where I'm from with all my homeless friends
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  • on the streets or in prisons.
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  • I don't have to really think about what I'm gonna say,
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  • like to be too strategic.
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  • All you have to do is declare the Word of God
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  • announce what side I'm on for them,
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  • and announce the Word of God.
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  • People's heads change because they're hearing truth
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  • about themselves.
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  • I don't even have to be too strategic
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  • or too good of a storyteller.
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  • Sometimes you don't even have to prepare that much.
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  • - You're saying anybody can do it.
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  • - Just declare.
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  • You don't know what to say, declare the Word of God.
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  • But I think feel this announcement towards them.
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  • - You know what, because you're speaking to their spirit.
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  • And I think a lot of times you get past people's head
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  • when we just, they're made in the image of God
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  • just like the rest of us are.
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  • And if you speak to their spirit it goes past
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  • the understanding in their mind and they hear
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  • the voice of the Lord speaking to their spirit.
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  • I think it just changes them.
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  • I mean what you do, Hosanna, is just amazing.
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  • - Plus she rhymes when she does it.
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  • - I don't have the same effect.
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  • (laughing)
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  • - I've got to work on the rhyming.
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  • - But don't you feel that shift in the atmosphere
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  • when you're doing that?
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  • - I do, I think it just takes declaring truth.
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  • People don't even have to like Jesus, want Jesus,
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  • or know that they Jesus.
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  • But when they hear that declaration being said,
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  • I was thinking of it, this idea of death or life,
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  • or death or life.
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  • I was thinking about kind of our lives like
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  • a tug-of-war rope, that game we grew up with,
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  • tug-of-war.
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  • It was all these people fighting one way
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  • and all these people fighting the other.
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  • The thought the our voices, if everyone's life
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  • was a tug-of-war rope than something we say to to someone
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  • or declared over someone could be pulling on one side
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  • of the rope or not, death or life.
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  • I don't know if you've seen that in your own life,
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  • ways that people have fought for you negatively
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  • or positively, how that's changed you.
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  • - Or how you fight for your own self.
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  • I mean in a marriage, we're all married here.
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  • I know y'alls are all perfect all the time.
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  • But there are times when I feel like I have to make
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  • a decision about the words I'm speaking over my marriage.
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  • When he drives me nuts I can have the choice
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  • to keep speaking the things that are frustrating or wrong,
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  • or begin to change what I say.
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  • Uh, sometimes that's so hard because I'd rather declare.
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  • - You'd rather get it out.
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  • - [Holly] I I'd rather get it out yes.
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  • - I'd rather declare my feelings, then the truth.
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  • (laughing) - But I felt that one.
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  • (laughing)
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  • - You're so amazing.
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  • Can I be like you when I grow up?
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  • My husband, as amazing as he can be,
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  • there are times he's done hurtful things.
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  • So it's those moments when I am hurt that I find
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  • I have to be really careful about my mouth
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  • because instinctively I would just fight back,
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  • or get defensive, or say bad things about them
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  • to justify my position which is all terrible.
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  • Or even sometimes I will go on long walks
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  • and I will find myself, even in my prayers,
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  • doing more complaining which God loves me
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  • and he wants to hear from me.
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  • But I just don't think that the complaining
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  • about a situation or a person actually helps anything.
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  • So that's where I feel like I've had the real battle.
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  • So to be disciplined with my mouth, with framing my world
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  • a little bit differently with what I say.
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  • In Philippians it challenges us to think on these things.
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  • And the things it lists, it's not bad stuff.
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  • Think on these things, the things that annoy you,
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  • the things that irritate you, no.
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  • It says the things that are good and lovely,
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  • and of a good report, right?
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  • So I also feel like that actually influences what you say.
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  • For me I can, on these long walks, get into such a rut
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  • with what I'm thinking about a situation or a hurt
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  • that's happened that I can start then complaining about it.
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  • And it doesn't actually do me any good.
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  • I think that's where I've had to learn to just
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  • be disciplined with my words.
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  • - What I've learned is to actually echo back
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  • what I heard them say.
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  • Because sometimes somebody, what they're actually saying
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  • is not what they meant to say.
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  • So I'll say so what you're saying is I always do this?
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  • Is that what you're saying, always?
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  • Because always is gonna get you a fight.
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  • (laughing)
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  • That I sometimes, I can be in agreement with that.
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  • - Only sometimes, right.
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  • - But I do think we need to actually help other people
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  • form their words because words are incredibly powerful.
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  • John and I have two chairs in our bedroom
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  • that we are not allowed to fight in.
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  • - It's the happy chairs.
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  • - Never been used.
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  • - No always whenever we have a discussion we know
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  • that we're going to sit there and if one person
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  • feels violated they have the right to just get up
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  • and walk out of the room and the other person
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  • cannot chase them.
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  • So we set that up because first we don't want to fight
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  • in front of our kids.
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  • And we just knew this is our bedroom.
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  • - Safe room.
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  • - Yeah, we need guard the atmosphere in our bedroom
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  • and we need to sit, and we need to solve this.
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  • So I think it was one of the best tools we ever,
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  • was to echo back.
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  • And then also, I've heard you say it a lot.
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  • Then I affirm what you said and then I say,
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  • and yet at the same time.
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  • So I'm saying I validate what you're saying
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  • but I'm not gonna argue with you.
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  • I'm gonna add, so I think it's a huge thing.
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  • - I think in marriages, especially in my own,
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  • I've learned how to kind of speak up for myself.
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  • I think most men have a tendency to think that if women
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  • have a tendency to speak up and say their things
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  • it's like oh, your nagging me.
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  • And it's no, I'm not necessarily nagging you
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  • or addressing a fault in you.
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  • It's like I'm making my needs known.
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  • It's not necessarily like it's a negative thing
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  • all the time.
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  • I think most of the time in our own worlds
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  • when a woman speaks up or uses her words
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  • it's almost looked at as it's an inconvenient time
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  • for you to talk.
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  • It's an inconvenient time for you to say anything.
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  • So I have to kind of revisit okay, from what paradigm
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  • am I speaking from?
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  • From what place am I speaking from?
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  • Because I want him to hear me, but at the same time
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  • this is probably not a convenient time,
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  • so I'm gonna wait.
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  • I'm gonna kind of back off a little bit,
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  • wait for the opportune time to kind of say
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  • what I need to say so he would be open to my words.
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  • So when it comes to relationships,
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  • and I know for some of us--
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  • - I probably need help with figuring that out.
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  • (laughing)
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  • - It came at a price, sis, let me tell ya.
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  • I think as a woman, when you're speaking up
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  • you have to look at the opportune time.
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  • Is every time a good time to talk?
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  • Is this the most you know, utilized time that you
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  • can speak up and say what you need to say?
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  • I found being a Latina in a diverse community
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  • in Northern California where you have so many
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  • people groups, you know, international
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  • plus homegrown diversity, people born here in the U.S.,
  • 00:09:13.260 --> 00:09:18.260
  • not every issue you can speak on.
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  • But the thing is there is an opportunity
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  • that you have to look for in order to speak up.
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  • It may not be at every occasion,
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  • it may not be at every issue,
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  • but your voice is important.
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  • But utilizing and recognizing when that opportunity comes.
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  • I think when I think of opportunity and speaking up
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  • you really have to be spirit-led like a Queen Esther
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  • to arrive at the time that God has appointed you
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  • to speak up because then you have the audience
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  • of a king or of that influential voice
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  • where they will be an advocate for you.
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  • - So I do think knowing the right time
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  • is very important.
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  • - The right time to use your voice.
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  • - It's wisdom.
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  • - Because if you want a favorable result you have
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  • to pick a good time.
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  • Now there's some times there's just never gonna be
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  • a good time and it's urgent.
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  • But you do it in the right way.
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  • - And I think that the words we say over ourself
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  • is important.
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  • I think we can be so critical.
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  • - [Dianna] The narrative.
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  • - The narrative that we tell ourself,
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  • so I think it's almost like we have to watch the words
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  • that we say over somebody else, but those come out
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  • of what we're saying over ourself.
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  • If we're actually affirming ourself with the word of God,
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  • or speaking the truth about how he sees us,
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  • that Psalm 129, if we're doing that over ourself
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  • then the chances of us using better words for other people
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  • are higher, right?
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  • - It all comes down to what we're feeding ourselves
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  • and what we're letting voices speaking into us.
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  • Sometimes you just need to turn off the voices
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  • that are constantly bombarding us with things.
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  • Turn off what we're looking at.
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  • Turn off what we're listening to and get in the word of God.
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  • I think that's what's so important about just having
  • 00:11:06.170 --> 00:11:08.150
  • a daily devotional, something that you sit down with
  • 00:11:08.150 --> 00:11:11.150
  • or you just turn on while you're putting your makeup on,
  • 00:11:11.150 --> 00:11:13.240
  • or however you find time to hear the word of God,
  • 00:11:13.240 --> 00:11:18.010
  • to hear what he says over you.
  • 00:11:18.010 --> 00:11:19.270
  • Declaring God's word over myself and taking what he says
  • 00:11:19.270 --> 00:11:24.270
  • here and declaring that over yourself.
  • 00:11:26.020 --> 00:11:27.180
  • Then the overflow of that, the people that are going
  • 00:11:27.180 --> 00:11:30.080
  • to be ministered to most once we've been with God
  • 00:11:30.080 --> 00:11:34.060
  • is your family.
  • 00:11:34.060 --> 00:11:35.130
  • It's gonna start with your husband.
  • 00:11:35.130 --> 00:11:36.200
  • It's gonna flow out to your children.
  • 00:11:36.200 --> 00:11:38.080
  • It's gonna flow out there to your community.
  • 00:11:38.080 --> 00:11:40.270
  • - That's powerful.
  • 00:11:40.270 --> 00:11:42.140
  • - I think what often hits me is the word of the Lord
  • 00:11:42.140 --> 00:11:46.210
  • saying be still and know that I am God.
  • 00:11:47.280 --> 00:11:50.120
  • I think just sometimes even if it's good stuff
  • 00:11:50.120 --> 00:11:53.030
  • that we're listening to and it's preachers,
  • 00:11:53.030 --> 00:11:55.280
  • or it's devotionals, it could just be all kinds
  • 00:11:55.280 --> 00:11:59.070
  • of good input into your life that you need
  • 00:11:59.070 --> 00:12:01.260
  • and we all need to feed our spiritual life.
  • 00:12:01.260 --> 00:12:05.150
  • But sometimes it's just nice to turn if all off.
  • 00:12:05.150 --> 00:12:09.050
  • That's when we can hear another voice.
  • 00:12:09.050 --> 00:12:11.170
  • That's the voice on the inside.
  • 00:12:11.170 --> 00:12:13.060
  • I just think we need to learn how to do that,
  • 00:12:13.060 --> 00:12:15.170
  • it's a learned thing, I think.
  • 00:12:15.170 --> 00:12:17.190
  • It's so good for us.
  • 00:12:17.190 --> 00:12:19.220
  • - You know, friendship with women is really important.
  • 00:12:19.220 --> 00:12:22.120
  • That doesn't mean it's easy.
  • 00:12:22.120 --> 00:12:23.270
  • But it's really important because I believe that women
  • 00:12:23.270 --> 00:12:26.140
  • are the connectors of the heart.
  • 00:12:26.140 --> 00:12:29.000
  • I believe that in the past women have been known
  • 00:12:29.000 --> 00:12:31.090
  • for wounding intimately.
  • 00:12:31.090 --> 00:12:34.010
  • That we've opened up our hearts to one another
  • 00:12:34.010 --> 00:12:36.040
  • and then been betrayed.
  • 00:12:36.040 --> 00:12:37.180
  • But if women can wound intimately,
  • 00:12:37.180 --> 00:12:39.190
  • we can also heal intimately.
  • 00:12:39.190 --> 00:12:42.060
  • I am ready to do the hard work to have deep,
  • 00:12:42.060 --> 00:12:44.220
  • meaningful relationships with other women.
  • 00:12:44.220 --> 00:12:47.160
  • - What do you think about today's topic?
  • 00:12:47.160 --> 00:12:49.180
  • Join the conversation on social media.
  • 00:12:49.180 --> 00:12:51.250
  • We can't wait to hear from you.
  • 00:12:51.250 --> 00:12:53.230
  • - I think I learned that lesson maybe backwards.
  • 00:12:59.020 --> 00:13:00.240
  • I think that was a point in my life where I realized
  • 00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:03.240
  • that I have the power, as this woman's asking me
  • 00:13:03.240 --> 00:13:06.210
  • for advice. Or I have the power as I'm talking to somebody
  • 00:13:06.210 --> 00:13:08.260
  • that what I say could stand in the way of them
  • 00:13:08.260 --> 00:13:11.250
  • pursuing God's call for their life if I tell them
  • 00:13:11.250 --> 00:13:14.070
  • they're not good enough, if I tell them that
  • 00:13:14.070 --> 00:13:15.230
  • they're not qualified or capable.
  • 00:13:15.230 --> 00:13:17.080
  • That my voice could pull on one end of the tug-of-war rope
  • 00:13:17.080 --> 00:13:20.100
  • or not and my voice could stand in the way
  • 00:13:20.100 --> 00:13:22.230
  • of them truly obeying the Lord.
  • 00:13:22.230 --> 00:13:25.050
  • Then later I realized--
  • 00:13:25.050 --> 00:13:26.220
  • - But sometimes it's not, I mean I can't picture you
  • 00:13:26.220 --> 00:13:30.030
  • actually saying something really terrible to someone.
  • 00:13:30.030 --> 00:13:33.080
  • - Thank you.
  • 00:13:33.080 --> 00:13:34.160
  • (laughing)
  • 00:13:34.160 --> 00:13:36.010
  • - And I can't picture you doing something this either.
  • 00:13:36.010 --> 00:13:37.160
  • - [Dianna] Only if you're a husband. I'm just kidding.
  • 00:13:37.160 --> 00:13:39.040
  • - But I don't think we even do the big,
  • 00:13:39.040 --> 00:13:41.260
  • those of us perhaps who walk with God,
  • 00:13:41.260 --> 00:13:44.220
  • we're not gonna say the really mean, horrible things.
  • 00:13:44.220 --> 00:13:47.020
  • - But we might minimize.
  • 00:13:47.020 --> 00:13:48.100
  • - But it will be a little sarcastic.
  • 00:13:48.100 --> 00:13:49.040
  • - Or minimize.
  • 00:13:49.040 --> 00:13:50.120
  • - [Hosanna] That's a good way to say it.
  • 00:13:50.120 --> 00:13:51.260
  • Or be condescending.
  • 00:13:51.260 --> 00:13:53.140
  • - Condescending.
  • 00:13:53.140 --> 00:13:55.040
  • - But everybody else is.
  • 00:13:55.040 --> 00:13:56.020
  • - Or just a little bit of doubt.
  • 00:13:56.020 --> 00:13:57.050
  • - Everybody else is.
  • 00:13:57.050 --> 00:13:58.130
  • - A little bit of doubt, a little bit of this.
  • 00:13:58.130 --> 00:14:01.000
  • (several women speaking at once)
  • 00:14:01.000 --> 00:14:03.290
  • No one is ever screaming in my face how unqualified I am.
  • 00:14:03.290 --> 00:14:07.220
  • It's been subtle, little minimal things.
  • 00:14:07.220 --> 00:14:10.060
  • But all that to say that I think that when I realized that,
  • 00:14:10.060 --> 00:14:11.260
  • that's was just why I wanted to have a theology
  • 00:14:11.260 --> 00:14:15.050
  • of myself and how I spoke to other people.
  • 00:14:15.050 --> 00:14:17.060
  • Even if inside of myself some feelings might be
  • 00:14:17.060 --> 00:14:19.170
  • one way or the other, just telling people who they are
  • 00:14:19.170 --> 00:14:22.070
  • using every opportunity to tell people who they are
  • 00:14:22.070 --> 00:14:23.280
  • I realized later, years later for myself.
  • 00:14:23.280 --> 00:14:26.020
  • - I learned I think early on that words can change
  • 00:14:26.020 --> 00:14:31.010
  • a situation.
  • 00:14:31.270 --> 00:14:33.090
  • I learned it from the bad and the good.
  • 00:14:33.090 --> 00:14:36.060
  • In the early years of my marriage,
  • 00:14:37.110 --> 00:14:39.090
  • Philip and I are very different.
  • 00:14:39.090 --> 00:14:41.000
  • Different personalities, different energy levels.
  • 00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:43.010
  • I would be very critical of who he was.
  • 00:14:43.010 --> 00:14:48.010
  • I kept with my words I would say things that basically
  • 00:14:49.140 --> 00:14:52.080
  • implied why can't you be more like me?
  • 00:14:52.080 --> 00:14:54.090
  • Which how arrogant is that?
  • 00:14:54.090 --> 00:14:55.210
  • So when I would use those kinds of words it would
  • 00:14:57.040 --> 00:14:59.110
  • be defeating to him and it would be rejecting of him.
  • 00:14:59.110 --> 00:15:04.100
  • And to be honest, he would kind of do the same thing back.
  • 00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:08.140
  • So all that did was create this tension in our marriage
  • 00:15:08.140 --> 00:15:11.000
  • and cause it to lose the intimacy.
  • 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:13.220
  • It just was not in a great place.
  • 00:15:13.220 --> 00:15:16.050
  • I've seen words do damage.
  • 00:15:16.050 --> 00:15:17.290
  • Then at the same time I've seen words bring life.
  • 00:15:17.290 --> 00:15:21.150
  • With our kids when they were very little I would
  • 00:15:21.150 --> 00:15:25.050
  • be speaking words of life over them.
  • 00:15:25.050 --> 00:15:27.290
  • They certainly weren't perfect, they still aren't perfect.
  • 00:15:27.290 --> 00:15:30.280
  • But I would intentionally speak words that I saw
  • 00:15:30.280 --> 00:15:35.100
  • the potential in who they were.
  • 00:15:35.100 --> 00:15:37.090
  • We would say things like Wagner's behaved this way.
  • 00:15:37.090 --> 00:15:40.220
  • And talk about honor is in our home.
  • 00:15:40.220 --> 00:15:43.110
  • We speak to each other with honor.
  • 00:15:43.110 --> 00:15:45.020
  • So we just started framing positive words.
  • 00:15:45.020 --> 00:15:48.070
  • I would catch them to best of my ability.
  • 00:15:48.070 --> 00:15:50.220
  • Catch them doing something good and actually put
  • 00:15:50.220 --> 00:15:54.100
  • an exclamation mark on that.
  • 00:15:54.100 --> 00:15:55.250
  • I've seen negative words to damage,
  • 00:15:55.250 --> 00:15:58.080
  • and positive words really create healthy souls
  • 00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:02.020
  • in my kids.
  • 00:16:02.020 --> 00:16:03.160
  • My kids are not perfect, but they have healthy souls.
  • 00:16:03.160 --> 00:16:05.040
  • I think it came from a lot of the good words
  • 00:16:05.040 --> 00:16:07.170
  • that we spoke over them.
  • 00:16:07.170 --> 00:16:09.000
  • - For years, I don't remember never doing this,
  • 00:16:09.000 --> 00:16:11.110
  • every time before I'd step on stage I'd pray a prayer
  • 00:16:11.110 --> 00:16:13.230
  • and I'd say God help me to only say the things that matter.
  • 00:16:13.230 --> 00:16:16.110
  • It's a very small prayer, it's not very long
  • 00:16:16.110 --> 00:16:18.020
  • or extravagant, but every time, God help me to only
  • 00:16:18.020 --> 00:16:20.160
  • say the things that matter, have only say the things
  • 00:16:20.160 --> 00:16:21.270
  • that matter, and I go on stage.
  • 00:16:21.270 --> 00:16:23.050
  • I remember there was the time in my life
  • 00:16:23.050 --> 00:16:24.110
  • that was horribly discouraging
  • 00:16:24.110 --> 00:16:25.280
  • that we walked through together and just thought maybe
  • 00:16:25.280 --> 00:16:30.090
  • I'd quit ministry all together.
  • 00:16:30.090 --> 00:16:31.240
  • It was just that dark and deep of a place for me
  • 00:16:31.240 --> 00:16:33.280
  • and my family, my marriage, and my life.
  • 00:16:33.280 --> 00:16:36.260
  • I remember about to go on stage during that season
  • 00:16:36.260 --> 00:16:40.020
  • and I said to the Lord, God help me only say
  • 00:16:40.020 --> 00:16:42.200
  • the things that matter.
  • 00:16:42.200 --> 00:16:43.270
  • And in that moment I heard the Lord speak,
  • 00:16:43.270 --> 00:16:45.120
  • I wish you only listened to the things that mattered.
  • 00:16:45.120 --> 00:16:48.010
  • And realizing that I did find my voice.
  • 00:16:48.010 --> 00:16:52.200
  • I did find that there was value in what I was saying.
  • 00:16:52.200 --> 00:16:56.240
  • I did already have a concept that there was power
  • 00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:58.200
  • in my words.
  • 00:16:58.200 --> 00:17:00.060
  • And I had put nowhere near the amount of weight
  • 00:17:00.060 --> 00:17:02.020
  • or intentionality into what I was listening to.
  • 00:17:02.020 --> 00:17:06.150
  • - That's so good.
  • 00:17:06.150 --> 00:17:08.000
  • - When the Lord said that to me, it changed everything.
  • 00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:10.030
  • It changed, are Laurie said, what I listened to.
  • 00:17:10.030 --> 00:17:12.120
  • I switched out these podcasts for these podcasts.
  • 00:17:12.120 --> 00:17:14.220
  • And like you said, they weren't bad books, bad podcasts.
  • 00:17:14.220 --> 00:17:18.020
  • These aren't like evil things versus holy things.
  • 00:17:18.020 --> 00:17:20.240
  • It is literally just something that was good
  • 00:17:20.240 --> 00:17:22.040
  • for something that was great.
  • 00:17:22.040 --> 00:17:23.230
  • Something that was just nothing to something that
  • 00:17:23.230 --> 00:17:26.000
  • was uplifting.
  • 00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:27.160
  • Now I'm kind of like a crazy person constantly listening.
  • 00:17:27.160 --> 00:17:31.260
  • I listen to so many, not as many podcasts now,
  • 00:17:31.260 --> 00:17:35.220
  • but so many sermons of great speakers every day.
  • 00:17:35.220 --> 00:17:39.060
  • The stuff I'm listening to because I realize
  • 00:17:39.060 --> 00:17:40.280
  • how fragile I was.
  • 00:17:40.280 --> 00:17:42.070
  • - Yeah, that's the point, we all are.
  • 00:17:42.070 --> 00:17:45.040
  • (several women speaking at once)
  • 00:17:46.040 --> 00:17:47.180
  • But I think that anybody can get away with listening
  • 00:17:47.180 --> 00:17:49.290
  • to nonsense and have it not affect you.
  • 00:17:49.290 --> 00:17:54.000
  • That's just like that's crazy.
  • 00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:55.090
  • - I don't think it was all these bad things.
  • 00:17:55.090 --> 00:17:57.040
  • I think I had allowed myself to be kind of
  • 00:17:57.040 --> 00:17:58.230
  • on autopilot.
  • 00:17:58.230 --> 00:18:00.100
  • So whatever was naturally surrounding me was just it.
  • 00:18:00.100 --> 00:18:02.180
  • I wasn't intentionally putting all these bad things in.
  • 00:18:02.180 --> 00:18:04.050
  • I was 'cause I wasn't intentionally doing anything.
  • 00:18:04.050 --> 00:18:06.220
  • That whatever was naturally happening in the world
  • 00:18:06.220 --> 00:18:09.120
  • is just what I was on autopilot listening to.
  • 00:18:09.120 --> 00:18:11.240
  • I think that's a big part of finding your voice
  • 00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:13.170
  • is hearing God's voice in that yes, it matters
  • 00:18:13.170 --> 00:18:18.010
  • what you're saying.
  • 00:18:18.010 --> 00:18:19.080
  • I hope we also say things that matter.
  • 00:18:19.080 --> 00:18:20.170
  • But also that we're only listening to the things
  • 00:18:20.170 --> 00:18:23.060
  • that matter and that will ultimately out of that abundance
  • 00:18:23.060 --> 00:18:25.270
  • will come out what God wants us to say over people.
  • 00:18:25.270 --> 00:18:28.260
  • - I love being on Better Together.
  • 00:18:28.260 --> 00:18:28.270
  • - I love being on Better Together.
  • 00:18:29.260 --> 00:18:32.170
  • My favorite thing today, as always, is just that I get to
  • 00:18:32.170 --> 00:18:36.140
  • spend some time with my friends.
  • 00:18:36.140 --> 00:18:39.120
  • We all live is different parts of the planet
  • 00:18:39.120 --> 00:18:41.150
  • so it's always so nice when we get to come together.
  • 00:18:41.150 --> 00:18:44.030
  • I just appreciate some real conversation.
  • 00:18:45.070 --> 00:18:46.190
  • There was real conversation that happened today.
  • 00:18:46.190 --> 00:18:48.080
  • There was things I didn't even know about some of my friends
  • 00:18:48.080 --> 00:18:51.150
  • and I love learning that.
  • 00:18:51.150 --> 00:18:54.020
  • I just love the honesty.
  • 00:18:54.020 --> 00:18:55.130
  • We all kind of own our bad, so I like that.
  • 00:18:55.130 --> 00:18:58.050
  • I like the honesty, I like the genuineness.
  • 00:18:58.050 --> 00:18:59.220
  • I like the emotion and I just think it's helpful.
  • 00:18:59.220 --> 00:19:04.220
  • - You can watch Better Together episodes on-demand.
  • 00:19:06.030 --> 00:19:07.240
  • - Go to bettertogether.tv to stream all
  • 00:19:07.240 --> 00:19:09.280
  • of our latest conversations.
  • 00:19:09.280 --> 00:19:11.160
  • - I think what you allow your ears to hear
  • 00:19:16.260 --> 00:19:18.280
  • greatly affects the words that you speak out of your mouth.
  • 00:19:18.280 --> 00:19:21.250
  • Whatever you're letting in,
  • 00:19:21.250 --> 00:19:23.020
  • that's what you're filled up with,
  • 00:19:23.020 --> 00:19:24.170
  • so naturally that's what's gonna come out.
  • 00:19:24.170 --> 00:19:26.070
  • If you were just filling up your mind with negativity
  • 00:19:26.070 --> 00:19:29.070
  • and division and gossip, and hateful thoughts,
  • 00:19:29.070 --> 00:19:34.000
  • of course all that's gonna come out of you
  • 00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:35.250
  • is what's building up inside of you.
  • 00:19:35.250 --> 00:19:38.140
  • When you are putting inside of yourself words of hope
  • 00:19:38.140 --> 00:19:41.120
  • and encouragement and joy, and inclusion, and unity,
  • 00:19:41.120 --> 00:19:44.060
  • that's what naturally comes out.
  • 00:19:44.060 --> 00:19:46.030
  • There have been times in my life where it wasn't
  • 00:19:46.030 --> 00:19:48.240
  • natural to feel loving, and it wasn't natural
  • 00:19:48.240 --> 00:19:51.150
  • to feel forgiving and it wasn't natural to feel joyful.
  • 00:19:51.150 --> 00:19:54.150
  • So I had to intentionally get the books,
  • 00:19:54.150 --> 00:19:58.050
  • listen to the sermons, listen to the podcasts
  • 00:19:58.050 --> 00:20:00.240
  • and constantly be listening to truth
  • 00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:03.270
  • because my natural feelings weren't positive.
  • 00:20:03.270 --> 00:20:07.050
  • My natural feelings weren't godly.
  • 00:20:07.050 --> 00:20:09.210
  • I think it's very important because you will start
  • 00:20:09.210 --> 00:20:13.150
  • to answer to whatever you are used to listening to.
  • 00:20:13.150 --> 00:20:17.000
  • I think it's so important that we become mindful
  • 00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:19.050
  • of what we're listening to, realizing that what
  • 00:20:19.050 --> 00:20:21.220
  • we listen to is the first step towards what we answer to.
  • 00:20:21.220 --> 00:20:23.280
  • And what we answer to is the first step
  • 00:20:23.280 --> 00:20:25.140
  • towards how we're living.
  • 00:20:25.140 --> 00:20:26.280
  • What you listen to matters more than you ever possibly know.
  • 00:20:26.280 --> 00:20:31.020
  • - It's always easy to criticize, it is for me.
  • 00:20:31.020 --> 00:20:34.180
  • - It is not for you.
  • 00:20:34.180 --> 00:20:36.140
  • - [Laurie] I don't even have to think about it,
  • 00:20:36.140 --> 00:20:37.280
  • and that can just roll off me.
  • 00:20:37.280 --> 00:20:39.230
  • - I've never heard a criticism come from you
  • 00:20:39.230 --> 00:20:41.220
  • and I've known you for 30 years.
  • 00:20:41.220 --> 00:20:43.050
  • - Because I have disciplined myself.
  • 00:20:43.050 --> 00:20:45.060
  • (laughing)
  • 00:20:45.060 --> 00:20:47.170
  • But I think it's just good just because everybody's
  • 00:20:47.170 --> 00:20:51.120
  • responsible for what we say.
  • 00:20:51.120 --> 00:20:53.160
  • Everybody has the choice of what we say
  • 00:20:53.160 --> 00:20:56.260
  • and the devil doesn't make you do it.
  • 00:20:56.260 --> 00:20:58.240
  • We all have a choice of whether I'm going to speak life
  • 00:20:58.240 --> 00:21:02.100
  • or if I'm going to ridicule, or condemn,
  • 00:21:02.100 --> 00:21:05.140
  • or shame on you.
  • 00:21:05.140 --> 00:21:07.070
  • Those words should never come out of our mouths.
  • 00:21:07.070 --> 00:21:09.110
  • Shame on anyone.
  • 00:21:09.110 --> 00:21:10.160
  • Jesus took the shame for all of us.
  • 00:21:10.160 --> 00:21:13.040
  • But I just think that we have the responsibility
  • 00:21:13.040 --> 00:21:16.160
  • and if we'll just think before we speak always.
  • 00:21:16.160 --> 00:21:20.090
  • And if you don't like something or somebody,
  • 00:21:20.090 --> 00:21:23.160
  • get it off you know, or walk away.
  • 00:21:25.080 --> 00:21:28.220
  • And just don't say anything.
  • 00:21:28.220 --> 00:21:31.230
  • Saying nothing is better than.
  • 00:21:31.230 --> 00:21:33.140
  • - The wrong thing. - A lot.
  • 00:21:34.150 --> 00:21:35.290
  • - We're the gatekeepers of what we decide
  • 00:21:35.290 --> 00:21:37.110
  • comes into our heart.
  • 00:21:37.110 --> 00:21:38.180
  • No, absolutely and I have to be responsible
  • 00:21:38.180 --> 00:21:42.170
  • to what I allow in, it's my choice.
  • 00:21:42.170 --> 00:21:46.280
  • I made a decision a couple of years ago.
  • 00:21:46.280 --> 00:21:49.190
  • I was like I'm seeing things that make me feel less than,
  • 00:21:49.190 --> 00:21:54.080
  • make me feel this or that.
  • 00:21:54.080 --> 00:21:55.240
  • So if I couldn't deal with it I had to gate keep.
  • 00:21:55.240 --> 00:21:58.090
  • I had to be like you know, it's okay to block people
  • 00:21:58.090 --> 00:22:01.080
  • on social media.
  • 00:22:01.080 --> 00:22:02.150
  • If people are repeatedly calling you a heretic
  • 00:22:02.150 --> 00:22:03.230
  • because you're a woman and you're preaching,
  • 00:22:03.230 --> 00:22:05.160
  • you can be like I heard you, thank you,
  • 00:22:05.160 --> 00:22:09.230
  • I will not hear you again.
  • 00:22:09.230 --> 00:22:11.130
  • We have to be gatekeepers of the entrustment of God
  • 00:22:11.130 --> 00:22:14.270
  • and the voice in our lives so that it doesn't
  • 00:22:14.270 --> 00:22:16.230
  • become tainted with bitterness or jealousy,
  • 00:22:16.230 --> 00:22:19.160
  • or competition.
  • 00:22:19.160 --> 00:22:21.180
  • So yeah, I think it's very important.
  • 00:22:21.180 --> 00:22:23.030
  • And judgment, the truth is they are not my servant,
  • 00:22:23.030 --> 00:22:25.270
  • they're God's servant.
  • 00:22:25.270 --> 00:22:27.000
  • God's gonna navigate that and I don't want my spirit,
  • 00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:31.060
  • because I'm like you.
  • 00:22:31.060 --> 00:22:32.130
  • I could be like that person's an idiot.
  • 00:22:32.130 --> 00:22:34.170
  • So that's my default.
  • 00:22:34.170 --> 00:22:36.010
  • - Yes they are.
  • 00:22:36.010 --> 00:22:37.220
  • (laughing)
  • 00:22:37.220 --> 00:22:39.190
  • - I am not going to allow myself to have access
  • 00:22:39.190 --> 00:22:42.290
  • to say that or put myself in a position where I feel like
  • 00:22:42.290 --> 00:22:46.010
  • I have to judge somebody.
  • 00:22:46.010 --> 00:22:47.160
  • You know, the Bible tells you to guard your heart
  • 00:22:47.160 --> 00:22:49.200
  • with all diligence because out of your heart
  • 00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:52.040
  • flows the issues of life.
  • 00:22:52.040 --> 00:22:54.010
  • That is your life force.
  • 00:22:54.010 --> 00:22:55.290
  • We live in a time period where so many people
  • 00:22:55.290 --> 00:22:58.120
  • have no boundaries and everybody can just speak
  • 00:22:58.120 --> 00:23:01.270
  • anything they want into your life.
  • 00:23:01.270 --> 00:23:03.210
  • I'm gonna give you permission to be a gatekeeper.
  • 00:23:03.210 --> 00:23:07.000
  • You do not have to allow the painful, hurtful words
  • 00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:11.280
  • of random strangers to come into your life.
  • 00:23:11.280 --> 00:23:15.130
  • You can shut the door.
  • 00:23:15.130 --> 00:23:16.190
  • You can close those gates.
  • 00:23:16.190 --> 00:23:18.030
  • You need to guard your heart.
  • 00:23:18.030 --> 00:23:19.190
  • God wants to do something magnificent and beautiful.
  • 00:23:19.190 --> 00:23:22.270
  • And he always begins first with your heart.
  • 00:23:22.270 --> 00:23:25.170
  • So be a good gatekeeper.
  • 00:23:25.170 --> 00:23:27.050
  • Watch things that build you up.
  • 00:23:27.050 --> 00:23:30.000
  • Only allow voices that inspire you to come in.
  • 00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:32.220
  • When people make you feel less than,
  • 00:23:32.220 --> 00:23:34.260
  • what Jesus did for you, you need to shut it out.
  • 00:23:34.260 --> 00:23:38.040
  • - You have to hear his voice before you can refine yours.
  • 00:23:38.040 --> 00:23:42.110
  • We're supposed to be a reflection of his voice.
  • 00:23:42.110 --> 00:23:44.090
  • If all we're listening to is stuff that isn't his voice,
  • 00:23:44.090 --> 00:23:49.080
  • then what would come out would be.
  • 00:23:49.080 --> 00:23:51.290
  • - More criticism, because people love to listen
  • 00:23:51.290 --> 00:23:54.170
  • to criticism of other people.
  • 00:23:54.170 --> 00:23:56.230
  • - And this is my favorite, I'm not gossiping, but.
  • 00:23:56.230 --> 00:24:00.210
  • (laughing)
  • 00:24:00.210 --> 00:24:01.260
  • - It is, they like it.
  • 00:24:01.260 --> 00:24:03.200
  • - It doesn't feed anyone's spirit. It doesn't add value.
  • 00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:05.220
  • - It might be more entertaining, but it's not life-giving.
  • 00:24:05.220 --> 00:24:09.140
  • It doesn't change lives and heal hearts.
  • 00:24:09.140 --> 00:24:12.130
  • - [Laurie] So it doesn't matter.
  • 00:24:12.130 --> 00:24:14.200
  • - It doesn't matter.
  • 00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:15.230
  • - And your prayer is.
  • 00:24:15.230 --> 00:24:17.140
  • - My prayer is that listen to things that matter.
  • 00:24:17.140 --> 00:24:20.070
  • - Only listen to things that matter,
  • 00:24:20.070 --> 00:24:21.210
  • and then you will only say the things that matter
  • 00:24:21.210 --> 00:24:23.050
  • because you'll only know the things that matter.
  • 00:24:23.050 --> 00:24:25.160
  • And in finding our voice we need to first find
  • 00:24:25.160 --> 00:24:27.170
  • that there is so much power in it.
  • 00:24:27.170 --> 00:24:29.040
  • So what are you listening to, and then what are you saying?
  • 00:24:29.040 --> 00:24:31.110
  • What are you using your voice for?
  • 00:24:31.110 --> 00:24:33.060
  • I want to encourage anyone who perhaps lies
  • 00:24:33.060 --> 00:24:36.160
  • have been spoken about you.
  • 00:24:36.160 --> 00:24:38.010
  • Perhaps people have used the power of their tongue
  • 00:24:38.010 --> 00:24:39.110
  • against you.
  • 00:24:39.110 --> 00:24:40.190
  • I want you to know that those lies are not true
  • 00:24:40.190 --> 00:24:41.270
  • and that in the word of God we can discover
  • 00:24:41.270 --> 00:24:43.280
  • who we really are.
  • 00:24:43.280 --> 00:24:45.090
  • Now my hope for me and my hope for you is that
  • 00:24:45.090 --> 00:24:47.190
  • we don't become like those people.
  • 00:24:47.190 --> 00:24:49.040
  • That we use the power of our mouths, declare truth,
  • 00:24:49.040 --> 00:24:52.160
  • to declare hope, to declare unity, to declare purpose.
  • 00:24:52.160 --> 00:24:55.240
  • And that's my prayer for all of us that we would use
  • 00:24:55.240 --> 00:24:58.030
  • the power of our tongues to instill and encourage power
  • 00:24:58.030 --> 00:25:02.000
  • in other people.
  • 00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:03.120
  • I'm gonna pray for all of us.
  • 00:25:03.120 --> 00:25:05.080
  • God, would you remind us every day the power in our mouths.
  • 00:25:05.080 --> 00:25:09.170
  • Would you remind us every day when we want
  • 00:25:09.170 --> 00:25:11.240
  • to tear down others or when we want to just be hurtful,
  • 00:25:11.240 --> 00:25:15.140
  • God would you remind us about the power that is in
  • 00:25:15.140 --> 00:25:18.110
  • the words that we say and that you would choose instead,
  • 00:25:18.110 --> 00:25:21.100
  • God please, to be kind, to be forgiving and loving,
  • 00:25:21.100 --> 00:25:25.200
  • and to declare truth, kindness, and your goodness
  • 00:25:25.200 --> 00:25:29.090
  • with our mouths.
  • 00:25:29.090 --> 00:25:30.170
  • In the name of Jesus, amen.
  • 00:25:30.170 --> 00:25:33.050
  • - [Narrator] Better together is grounded in prayer,
  • 00:25:33.050 --> 00:25:35.020
  • and we want to pray for you.
  • 00:25:35.020 --> 00:25:36.140
  • You can call the number on your screen,
  • 00:25:36.140 --> 00:25:37.260
  • or message us on social media.
  • 00:25:37.260 --> 00:25:40.060
  • from prayer requests to praise reports,
  • 00:25:40.060 --> 00:25:42.060
  • we want to hear what God is doing in your life.
  • 00:25:42.060 --> 00:25:44.190
  • Hosanna, what are you doing
  • 00:25:46.000 --> 00:25:51.000
  • I'm in love your heart and mind
  • 00:25:52.070 --> 00:25:57.040
  • You give a right word at the right moment
  • 00:25:57.040 --> 00:26:02.050
  • So speak as you drop that line
  • 00:26:02.050 --> 00:26:06.010
  • (laughing)
  • 00:26:06.010 --> 00:26:07.030
  • - I receive it.
  • 00:26:07.030 --> 00:26:09.010
  • (laughing)
  • 00:26:09.010 --> 00:26:09.290
  • - Yes, glory be to Jesus.
  • 00:26:09.290 --> 00:26:11.120
  • - Oh my goodness.
  • 00:26:11.120 --> 00:26:12.270
  • Out of all the operas that have ever been sung to me,
  • 00:26:12.270 --> 00:26:14.200
  • that was top 10, love it.
  • 00:26:14.200 --> 00:26:16.270
  • (singing)
  • 00:26:16.270 --> 00:26:18.100
  • Just kidding.
  • 00:26:18.100 --> 00:26:19.240
  • (laughing) It's very confusing because my name is Hosanna
  • 00:26:19.240 --> 00:26:20.250
  • so people think I can sing.
  • 00:26:20.250 --> 00:26:22.070
  • They're like oh look, hosanna, hosanna, the highest.
  • 00:26:22.070 --> 00:26:24.060
  • If I sang it would have brought you down to the lowest.
  • 00:26:24.060 --> 00:26:25.290
  • - It would be like angels, but not really right?
  • 00:26:25.290 --> 00:26:27.280
  • - But like the opposite.
  • 00:26:27.280 --> 00:26:29.060
  • Exactly like it, but exactly the opposite.
  • 00:26:29.060 --> 00:26:30.190
  • - That wasn't meant to. - No.
  • 00:26:30.190 --> 00:26:33.080
  • - [Narrator] Here's what happening next time
  • 00:26:33.080 --> 00:26:35.260
  • on Better Together.
  • 00:26:35.260 --> 00:26:37.000
  • - Here I am, this spunky young thing right,
  • 00:26:38.030 --> 00:26:42.070
  • with all the edge that I have now, but I went okay
  • 00:26:42.070 --> 00:26:44.180
  • I have to be a certain way.
  • 00:26:44.180 --> 00:26:46.080
  • - [Narrator] Watch Better Together, weekdays right here
  • 00:26:46.080 --> 00:26:49.010
  • on TBN.
  • 00:26:49.010 --> 00:26:49.260