Overcoming Loneliness and Thinking Through Your Friendship | TBN

Overcoming Loneliness and Thinking Through Your Friendship

Watch Overcoming Loneliness and Thinking Through Your Friendship
July 6, 2019
57:32

In Touch with Dr. Charles Stanley

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Overcoming Loneliness and Thinking Through Your Friendship

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  • - Dr. Charles Stanley: When you
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  • trust the Lord Jesus Christ as
  • 00:00:04.270 --> 00:00:06.030
  • your personal Savior, you have a
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  • reason to believe the teaching
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  • of the Word of God that you will
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  • never be, listen, alone again.
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  • I didn't say you wouldn't be
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  • lonely.
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  • But once you trust Him as your
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  • Savior, you're never alone again
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  • no matter what you go through,
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  • what you experience, what you
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  • suffer in life, how good the
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  • - Dr. Stanley: Four decades
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  • ago, we started In Touch
  • 00:00:41.120 --> 00:00:43.160
  • Ministries to lead people
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  • worldwide into a growing
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  • relationship with Jesus Christ.
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  • Throughout the years, we've seen
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  • God's greatness, his love and
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  • his blessings in such awesome
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  • ways that we just want everyone
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  • to know him.
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  • So, let's open God's
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  • - male announcer: Next on
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  • "In Touch,"
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  • Oh, blessed assurance, Jesus
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  • is mine.
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  • And O what a foretaste of
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  • glory divine.
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  • Heir of salvation, purchase
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  • of God.
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  • - Rodney Brooks: Born of His
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  • Spirit.
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  • Born of His Spirit,
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  • washed in His blood.
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  • Oh, this is my story, this
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  • is my song.
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  • I'm praising my Savior all
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  • the day long.
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  • This is my story, oh, this
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  • is my song.
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  • Praising my Savior all the
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  • day long.
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  • Perfect submission, perfect
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  • delight.
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  • Visions of rapture now burst
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  • on my sight.
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  • Angels descending bring from
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  • above.
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  • - Rodney: Echoes of mercy.
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  • Echoes of mercy, whispers
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  • of love.
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  • Perfect submission, all is
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  • at rest.
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  • Well, I in my Savior am
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  • happy and blessed.
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  • - Rodney: Are you watching?
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  • Watching and waiting, oh,
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  • looking above.
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  • I'm filled with His
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  • goodness.
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  • And lost in His love.
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  • This is my story, this is my
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  • song.
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  • I'm praising my Savior all
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  • the day long.
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  • This is my story,
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  • this is my song.
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  • Praising my Savior all
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  • the day long.
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  • Oh, this is my story, oh,
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  • this is my song.
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  • I'm praising my Savior all
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  • the day long.
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  • This is my story, this is my
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  • song.
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  • Praising my Savior all the
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  • - Rodney: Oh, praise him
  • 00:03:42.200 --> 00:03:43.100
  • - Dr. Charles Stanley: Lonely
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  • people are unhappy people.
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  • They feel insecure, feel
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  • inadequate; they feel restless.
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  • Oftentimes they feel confused
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  • and they tend to waste time
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  • because of feeling lonely,
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  • because their mind is divided.
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  • And when I think about their
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  • responses and how they operate
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  • based on that, they waste
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  • a lot of time.
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  • And a person's lonely, it's hard
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  • for them to concentrate.
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  • Their mind gets divided and they
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  • want to do one thing end up
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  • doing the other.
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  • They find themselves wasting
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  • time wondering about why they
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  • feel the way they feel and who's
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  • going to help them out.
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  • So, a lonely feeling is a bad
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  • feeling.
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  • And so, I want us to look at a
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  • particular passage of Scripture
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  • that you have read many times
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  • probably.
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  • And--but it's a good example of
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  • what Jesus says to us when we go
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  • through those times.
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  • So, I want you to turn to
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  • Matthew chapter eleven for
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  • moment and begin with verse
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  • twenty eight: "Come to Me,
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  • all you who are weary
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  • and heavy-laden.
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  • I'll give you rest.
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  • Take My yoke upon you and learn
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  • from Me, for I am gentle and
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  • humble in heart, and you will
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  • find rest for your souls.
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  • For My yoke is easy and My
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  • burden is light."
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  • This is a word of encouragement
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  • to all of you who feel lonely,
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  • because sometimes you're asking
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  • God where are You?
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  • If You're there, why don't You
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  • speak?
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  • Why don't You show Yourself?
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  • Why don't You do something to
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  • make Yourself known?
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  • And the Lord Jesus says come
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  • unto Me and I will show you the
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  • truth.
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  • I will make Myself known.
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  • I will lift your burden.
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  • I'll take away your loneliness.
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  • I'll be sufficient for any and
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  • every need that you have.
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  • So, when we think about
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  • loneliness, we think about an
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  • emotion that many people are not
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  • only troubled by, but overcome
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  • by.
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  • Do not know where to turn, and
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  • sometimes the things they turn
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  • to are not the things that help
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  • them at all.
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  • And so, what I want to do in
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  • this message is give you some
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  • suggestions of how to overcome
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  • it.
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  • You don't have to live in
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  • loneliness.
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  • That's not the will of God for
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  • us to live in loneliness.
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  • And He is our best friend.
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  • And if you'll think for just a
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  • moment when Jesus was on the
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  • cross, think about this.
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  • When He was on the cross, they
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  • nailed Him to the cross, nails
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  • in His hands, His feet.
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  • It's in those moments He was
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  • paying the price for your sin
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  • and mine.
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  • And most of all facing it
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  • without the Father's presence.
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  • "My God, My God, why have You
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  • forsaken Me?"
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  • If anybody understood
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  • loneliness, Jesus did.
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  • He does not intend for you and
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  • me to live lonely.
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  • When you trust the Lord Jesus
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  • Christ as your personal Savior,
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  • you have a reason to believe the
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  • teaching of the Word of God that
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  • you will never be, listen, alone
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  • again.
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  • I didn't say you wouldn't be
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  • lonely.
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  • But once you trust Him as your
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  • Savior, you're never alone again
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  • no matter what you go through,
  • 00:07:17.010 --> 00:07:18.170
  • what you experience, what you
  • 00:07:18.170 --> 00:07:19.250
  • suffer in life, how good the
  • 00:07:19.250 --> 00:07:21.130
  • times are, you are never alone.
  • 00:07:21.270 --> 00:07:24.270
  • Loneliness, yes, and loneliness
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  • is a plague in our society and
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  • then the world.
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  • We have everything that money
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  • can buy.
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  • We can go anywhere there is to
  • 00:07:35.140 --> 00:07:37.000
  • have fun and somehow loneliness
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  • is like a disease.
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  • Loneliness has plagued us, and
  • 00:07:43.080 --> 00:07:45.170
  • people are looking for a
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  • solution.
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  • So, let's define, briefly, what
  • 00:07:48.170 --> 00:07:51.170
  • we mean by loneliness, listen to
  • 00:07:51.170 --> 00:07:53.280
  • this: Loneliness is a separation
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  • anxiety, brought on by the
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  • feelings of being disconnected,
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  • out of touch.
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  • It is a loss of intimacy, or
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  • belonging, of feeling abandoned,
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  • ostracized, isolated.
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  • That is, something has happened
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  • in your life with somebody, with
  • 00:08:12.210 --> 00:08:15.030
  • your family, whatever it might
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  • be.
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  • It's a disconnect.
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  • And people who have been through
  • 00:08:18.280 --> 00:08:20.130
  • divorce, death, and all kinds of
  • 00:08:21.100 --> 00:08:24.100
  • separations, they understand how
  • 00:08:24.120 --> 00:08:27.120
  • absolutely telling that is on
  • 00:08:27.120 --> 00:08:29.240
  • their mind, their emotions, and
  • 00:08:29.240 --> 00:08:31.070
  • their body.
  • 00:08:31.070 --> 00:08:32.160
  • God does not expect us to live a
  • 00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:36.000
  • lonely life, and yet multitudes
  • 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:38.210
  • of people are doing just that.
  • 00:08:38.210 --> 00:08:41.050
  • They have everything money can
  • 00:08:41.050 --> 00:08:42.180
  • buy but they're lonely.
  • 00:08:42.180 --> 00:08:45.130
  • And many people think, well, if
  • 00:08:45.130 --> 00:08:46.180
  • I just had this, and if I had
  • 00:08:46.180 --> 00:08:48.080
  • that, or if I had him, or if I
  • 00:08:48.080 --> 00:08:50.100
  • had her, I would be fine.
  • 00:08:50.100 --> 00:08:52.090
  • No, you wouldn't.
  • 00:08:52.090 --> 00:08:54.030
  • There's not anything under God's
  • 00:08:54.030 --> 00:08:56.040
  • creation or all of it together
  • 00:08:56.050 --> 00:08:59.050
  • that can satisfy an emptiness in
  • 00:08:59.060 --> 00:09:02.080
  • your life that only Jesus Christ
  • 00:09:02.080 --> 00:09:05.000
  • can satisfy.
  • 00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:06.240
  • So, let's think about some very
  • 00:09:06.240 --> 00:09:09.000
  • specific ways that you overcome
  • 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:11.120
  • loneliness in your life.
  • 00:09:11.120 --> 00:09:13.150
  • And the first one is this.
  • 00:09:13.150 --> 00:09:15.140
  • Ask the question, what am I
  • 00:09:15.140 --> 00:09:17.110
  • doing that's promoting
  • 00:09:17.110 --> 00:09:18.180
  • loneliness in my life?
  • 00:09:18.180 --> 00:09:20.110
  • You can be lonely and not know
  • 00:09:20.110 --> 00:09:22.040
  • why.
  • 00:09:22.040 --> 00:09:23.090
  • Now, if some member of your
  • 00:09:23.090 --> 00:09:24.160
  • family passes away, or
  • 00:09:24.160 --> 00:09:25.250
  • separation, divorce, or whatever
  • 00:09:25.250 --> 00:09:27.170
  • we understand that.
  • 00:09:27.170 --> 00:09:29.060
  • But what about that loneliness
  • 00:09:29.060 --> 00:09:30.270
  • that you can't put your finger
  • 00:09:30.270 --> 00:09:31.250
  • on?
  • 00:09:31.250 --> 00:09:33.040
  • What about none of those things
  • 00:09:33.040 --> 00:09:34.110
  • are true, but you're still
  • 00:09:34.110 --> 00:09:35.270
  • lonely, still empty, still
  • 00:09:35.270 --> 00:09:38.060
  • trying to figure out what's
  • 00:09:38.060 --> 00:09:39.260
  • going on in your life.
  • 00:09:39.260 --> 00:09:41.190
  • And so, when you ask the
  • 00:09:41.190 --> 00:09:43.170
  • question, what am I doing that
  • 00:09:43.170 --> 00:09:45.170
  • promotes it?
  • 00:09:45.170 --> 00:09:46.180
  • Listen carefully, something is
  • 00:09:46.180 --> 00:09:48.050
  • promoting it.
  • 00:09:48.050 --> 00:09:49.170
  • Something is promoting
  • 00:09:49.170 --> 00:09:51.090
  • loneliness in your life.
  • 00:09:51.090 --> 00:09:53.070
  • And if you are a child of God
  • 00:09:53.070 --> 00:09:55.130
  • you should not feel lonely.
  • 00:09:55.130 --> 00:09:57.230
  • And if you still feel lonely you
  • 00:09:57.230 --> 00:09:59.100
  • have to ask yourself the
  • 00:09:59.100 --> 00:10:00.070
  • question, what is it about my
  • 00:10:00.070 --> 00:10:02.070
  • thinking?
  • 00:10:02.070 --> 00:10:03.100
  • What am I doing?
  • 00:10:03.100 --> 00:10:04.290
  • What about my relationships
  • 00:10:04.290 --> 00:10:06.100
  • that's leaving me empty?
  • 00:10:06.230 --> 00:10:09.230
  • And so, something is wrong.
  • 00:10:10.220 --> 00:10:13.220
  • Especially if you've ever
  • 00:10:13.220 --> 00:10:14.260
  • trusted Jesus as your Savior and
  • 00:10:14.260 --> 00:10:17.010
  • you're lonely, something's gone
  • 00:10:17.010 --> 00:10:19.040
  • wrong, because you should not
  • 00:10:19.040 --> 00:10:21.120
  • feel loneliness when you have
  • 00:10:21.120 --> 00:10:24.060
  • the presence of Almighty God
  • 00:10:24.060 --> 00:10:26.130
  • living within you who has said,
  • 00:10:26.130 --> 00:10:28.280
  • "I'll never leave you nor
  • 00:10:28.280 --> 00:10:30.080
  • forsake you."
  • 00:10:30.080 --> 00:10:31.160
  • That's the promise of God to
  • 00:10:31.160 --> 00:10:32.230
  • every single believer.
  • 00:10:32.230 --> 00:10:34.250
  • Then of course, ask yourself
  • 00:10:34.250 --> 00:10:35.290
  • this question.
  • 00:10:35.290 --> 00:10:37.210
  • Is this the way I want to spend
  • 00:10:37.210 --> 00:10:39.100
  • the rest of my life and die and
  • 00:10:39.100 --> 00:10:42.060
  • give an account to the Lord for
  • 00:10:42.060 --> 00:10:43.110
  • a life disobedience and waste?
  • 00:10:43.110 --> 00:10:46.060
  • In all these years I have never
  • 00:10:46.060 --> 00:10:48.060
  • met a person who said I used to
  • 00:10:48.120 --> 00:10:51.120
  • be a Christian, I used to go to
  • 00:10:51.120 --> 00:10:53.210
  • church, I used to do this, I
  • 00:10:53.210 --> 00:10:55.230
  • used to do that, but I just
  • 00:10:55.230 --> 00:10:57.260
  • quit.
  • 00:10:57.260 --> 00:10:59.120
  • I've never met a person who told
  • 00:10:59.120 --> 00:11:01.000
  • me that who was happy.
  • 00:11:01.000 --> 00:11:03.100
  • Who would even claim to be
  • 00:11:03.100 --> 00:11:04.290
  • happy, but always something
  • 00:11:04.290 --> 00:11:07.280
  • missing.
  • 00:11:07.280 --> 00:11:09.090
  • "Oh, I don't go to church again,
  • 00:11:09.090 --> 00:11:10.100
  • but I don't do this again but,"
  • 00:11:10.100 --> 00:11:12.170
  • but what?
  • 00:11:12.170 --> 00:11:13.220
  • Still unhappy, still miserable,
  • 00:11:13.240 --> 00:11:16.240
  • still lonely because without
  • 00:11:16.240 --> 00:11:18.240
  • Jesus, think about this, He
  • 00:11:18.240 --> 00:11:21.040
  • created us.
  • 00:11:21.040 --> 00:11:22.280
  • He didn't have to.
  • 00:11:22.280 --> 00:11:23.190
  • He created us; He gave us life.
  • 00:11:23.190 --> 00:11:25.190
  • Why?
  • 00:11:25.190 --> 00:11:27.000
  • In order to indwell us, in order
  • 00:11:27.250 --> 00:11:30.250
  • to so work in our life that we
  • 00:11:30.250 --> 00:11:33.150
  • would praise Him, and honor Him,
  • 00:11:33.150 --> 00:11:35.070
  • and glorify Him, and live for
  • 00:11:35.070 --> 00:11:36.180
  • Him, and reflect Him, and spread
  • 00:11:36.180 --> 00:11:39.040
  • that awesome sense of fellowship
  • 00:11:39.040 --> 00:11:41.000
  • and love with other people.
  • 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:43.080
  • So, I would ask you this.
  • 00:11:43.080 --> 00:11:45.090
  • If you're one of those persons
  • 00:11:45.090 --> 00:11:46.160
  • who's very happy, do you spread
  • 00:11:46.160 --> 00:11:48.250
  • that around?
  • 00:11:48.250 --> 00:11:50.170
  • When you talk to people about
  • 00:11:50.170 --> 00:11:52.120
  • your relationship to Jesus, do
  • 00:11:52.120 --> 00:11:54.080
  • you give Him credit for being
  • 00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:56.060
  • the answer to your once
  • 00:11:56.060 --> 00:11:57.160
  • loneliness?
  • 00:11:57.160 --> 00:12:00.070
  • Because the truth is without
  • 00:12:00.070 --> 00:12:01.100
  • Him, you don't have it.
  • 00:12:01.100 --> 00:12:04.040
  • You can name anything that you
  • 00:12:04.040 --> 00:12:05.060
  • possess.
  • 00:12:05.060 --> 00:12:06.290
  • Without Him, you're still going
  • 00:12:06.290 --> 00:12:09.140
  • to be lonely.
  • 00:12:09.140 --> 00:12:11.170
  • And so, I say over, and over,
  • 00:12:11.170 --> 00:12:12.240
  • and over again Jesus is the One
  • 00:12:12.240 --> 00:12:14.120
  • that does it.
  • 00:12:14.120 --> 00:12:16.010
  • When you surrender your life to
  • 00:12:16.010 --> 00:12:17.010
  • Christ, here's what happens.
  • 00:12:17.010 --> 00:12:19.060
  • The Bible says you surrender
  • 00:12:19.060 --> 00:12:20.130
  • your life to Christ, Jesus comes
  • 00:12:20.130 --> 00:12:22.060
  • into your life, watch this, He
  • 00:12:22.060 --> 00:12:24.140
  • comes to indwell you through the
  • 00:12:24.140 --> 00:12:25.290
  • Holy Spirit.
  • 00:12:25.290 --> 00:12:27.190
  • And the Holy Spirit, the Bible
  • 00:12:27.190 --> 00:12:28.240
  • says, sealed you, sealed you
  • 00:12:29.290 --> 00:12:32.290
  • forever as a child of God.
  • 00:12:32.290 --> 00:12:35.150
  • You can't be saved, sealed by
  • 00:12:35.150 --> 00:12:38.050
  • the Holy Spirit of God, and then
  • 00:12:38.050 --> 00:12:39.150
  • unsealed.
  • 00:12:39.150 --> 00:12:41.130
  • You may sin against God, and
  • 00:12:41.130 --> 00:12:42.290
  • what happens?
  • 00:12:42.290 --> 00:12:43.240
  • You lose your joy and your
  • 00:12:43.240 --> 00:12:44.190
  • peace.
  • 00:12:44.190 --> 00:12:45.190
  • You get out of the will of God
  • 00:12:45.190 --> 00:12:47.030
  • what happens?
  • 00:12:47.030 --> 00:12:48.000
  • Do you lose your salvation?
  • 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:49.050
  • No, but you lose your peace,
  • 00:12:49.050 --> 00:12:50.230
  • your joy, and your sense of
  • 00:12:50.230 --> 00:12:52.080
  • security; but you don't lose
  • 00:12:52.080 --> 00:12:53.150
  • your salvation.
  • 00:12:53.260 --> 00:12:56.260
  • God has sealed you as one of His
  • 00:12:56.260 --> 00:12:59.160
  • children and has the best life
  • 00:12:59.160 --> 00:13:02.100
  • possible for you.
  • 00:13:02.100 --> 00:13:03.270
  • But if you walk away from Him,
  • 00:13:03.270 --> 00:13:05.260
  • if you choose to go another
  • 00:13:05.260 --> 00:13:07.090
  • route than His route, you're
  • 00:13:07.090 --> 00:13:08.210
  • going to end up lonely.
  • 00:13:08.210 --> 00:13:10.230
  • And as a result, you'll walk
  • 00:13:10.230 --> 00:13:12.030
  • away wondering what happened.
  • 00:13:12.030 --> 00:13:14.030
  • What happened is that you became
  • 00:13:14.030 --> 00:13:16.170
  • disconnected, spiritually, with
  • 00:13:16.170 --> 00:13:19.020
  • the very source of life and
  • 00:13:19.020 --> 00:13:21.230
  • that's where most people are
  • 00:13:21.230 --> 00:13:22.250
  • living.
  • 00:13:22.250 --> 00:13:24.060
  • So, you ask God to deliver you
  • 00:13:24.070 --> 00:13:27.070
  • from any behavior that would
  • 00:13:27.070 --> 00:13:29.130
  • drag you back.
  • 00:13:29.130 --> 00:13:31.030
  • For example, if you've trusted
  • 00:13:31.030 --> 00:13:32.040
  • Christ as your Savior, you're
  • 00:13:32.070 --> 00:13:35.070
  • going along fine, and all of a
  • 00:13:35.070 --> 00:13:36.220
  • sudden, you find yourself being
  • 00:13:36.220 --> 00:13:37.230
  • lonely for some reason, whatever
  • 00:13:37.230 --> 00:13:39.130
  • it might be.
  • 00:13:39.130 --> 00:13:40.170
  • You got disappointed in
  • 00:13:40.170 --> 00:13:41.200
  • something, whatever.
  • 00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:43.270
  • Be careful not to allow somebody
  • 00:13:43.270 --> 00:13:46.080
  • else to drag you back into the
  • 00:13:46.080 --> 00:13:48.110
  • old lifestyle you were living in
  • 00:13:48.110 --> 00:13:51.060
  • and find yourself once again
  • 00:13:51.060 --> 00:13:53.140
  • empty when it was absolutely
  • 00:13:53.140 --> 00:13:55.030
  • unnecessary.
  • 00:13:55.030 --> 00:13:57.020
  • Listen, loneliness is not
  • 00:13:57.020 --> 00:13:59.230
  • natural for a child of God.
  • 00:13:59.230 --> 00:14:02.020
  • It's natural for the world
  • 00:14:02.020 --> 00:14:03.120
  • because they're not ta connected
  • 00:14:03.120 --> 00:14:04.170
  • to the resource of life, and
  • 00:14:04.170 --> 00:14:06.050
  • joy, and peace, and happiness,
  • 00:14:06.050 --> 00:14:07.110
  • all the rest.
  • 00:14:07.110 --> 00:14:08.080
  • "My peace I give unto you," He
  • 00:14:08.080 --> 00:14:09.270
  • says, "not as the world gives
  • 00:14:09.270 --> 00:14:11.240
  • give I unto you, let not your
  • 00:14:11.240 --> 00:14:12.280
  • heart be troubled."
  • 00:14:12.280 --> 00:14:14.040
  • Not as the world gives because
  • 00:14:14.040 --> 00:14:15.220
  • He knows that's not adequate,
  • 00:14:15.220 --> 00:14:17.030
  • that's not sufficient.
  • 00:14:17.030 --> 00:14:19.180
  • "Come to Me," He says, "and I
  • 00:14:19.180 --> 00:14:21.220
  • will give you rest."
  • 00:14:21.220 --> 00:14:23.110
  • I will give you peace, I will
  • 00:14:23.110 --> 00:14:24.180
  • give you joy.
  • 00:14:24.180 --> 00:14:26.160
  • It's a relationship with Jesus.
  • 00:14:26.160 --> 00:14:28.260
  • Listen, you can have
  • 00:14:28.260 --> 00:14:30.040
  • relationship with the most
  • 00:14:30.040 --> 00:14:31.100
  • beautiful woman, of the most
  • 00:14:31.100 --> 00:14:32.250
  • handsome man, most beautiful
  • 00:14:32.250 --> 00:14:34.080
  • person in the world.
  • 00:14:34.080 --> 00:14:35.100
  • Most wealthy, name it.
  • 00:14:35.100 --> 00:14:37.050
  • Without Jesus, you may try to
  • 00:14:38.130 --> 00:14:41.130
  • get it together, but you can't
  • 00:14:41.130 --> 00:14:42.170
  • get it together because Jesus is
  • 00:14:42.170 --> 00:14:45.030
  • the Great Connector.
  • 00:14:45.030 --> 00:14:47.150
  • He's the One who connects us
  • 00:14:47.150 --> 00:14:49.230
  • with Himself and gives us a
  • 00:14:49.230 --> 00:14:52.030
  • sense of joy and peace, and
  • 00:14:52.030 --> 00:14:54.070
  • happiness, and not loneliness.
  • 00:14:54.130 --> 00:14:57.130
  • And sometimes you'll meet some
  • 00:14:57.130 --> 00:14:59.090
  • of the happiest people you know
  • 00:14:59.090 --> 00:15:01.040
  • who live by themselves.
  • 00:15:01.040 --> 00:15:03.000
  • If having somebody was essential
  • 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:05.210
  • to being happy and having peace
  • 00:15:05.210 --> 00:15:08.090
  • in your life, that wouldn't be
  • 00:15:08.090 --> 00:15:09.140
  • true.
  • 00:15:09.140 --> 00:15:11.060
  • But Jesus, when you surrender
  • 00:15:11.060 --> 00:15:13.190
  • your life to Him, He begins to
  • 00:15:13.190 --> 00:15:15.250
  • live in you, what?
  • 00:15:15.250 --> 00:15:17.110
  • A godly life, and a life
  • 00:15:17.110 --> 00:15:19.210
  • submissive to the Father.
  • 00:15:19.210 --> 00:15:21.180
  • And a life that listens to the
  • 00:15:21.180 --> 00:15:23.040
  • Father.
  • 00:15:23.040 --> 00:15:24.140
  • A life that dwells upon the Word
  • 00:15:24.140 --> 00:15:26.090
  • of God.
  • 00:15:26.090 --> 00:15:27.260
  • That's the difference it makes.
  • 00:15:27.260 --> 00:15:29.270
  • So, ask yourself the question:
  • 00:15:29.270 --> 00:15:31.170
  • Where does all that fit in your
  • 00:15:31.170 --> 00:15:32.200
  • life?
  • 00:15:32.200 --> 00:15:34.040
  • And then, think about this.
  • 00:15:35.030 --> 00:15:38.030
  • Cultivate a new friendship with
  • 00:15:38.230 --> 00:15:41.230
  • somebody who will be an asset in
  • 00:15:41.230 --> 00:15:44.060
  • your life.
  • 00:15:44.060 --> 00:15:46.240
  • Sometimes that's exactly what's
  • 00:15:46.240 --> 00:15:48.140
  • needed to overcome loneliness.
  • 00:15:48.230 --> 00:15:51.230
  • Cultivate a friendship, watch
  • 00:15:51.230 --> 00:15:53.060
  • this, not with someone who could
  • 00:15:53.060 --> 00:15:55.060
  • drag you back down to where you
  • 00:15:55.060 --> 00:15:56.260
  • were, but someone who will lift
  • 00:15:56.260 --> 00:15:59.230
  • you.
  • 00:15:59.230 --> 00:16:00.190
  • Someone who will encourage you,
  • 00:16:00.190 --> 00:16:01.280
  • and someone whose relationship
  • 00:16:01.280 --> 00:16:03.140
  • with Christ is very important.
  • 00:16:03.140 --> 00:16:06.130
  • Someone whose language, whose
  • 00:16:06.130 --> 00:16:09.000
  • lifestyle, whose dress, whose
  • 00:16:09.000 --> 00:16:11.280
  • demeanor, someone that you know
  • 00:16:11.280 --> 00:16:14.220
  • looks like this is what Jesus
  • 00:16:14.220 --> 00:16:16.260
  • would look like.
  • 00:16:16.260 --> 00:16:18.200
  • A genuine friend who doesn't
  • 00:16:18.200 --> 00:16:20.290
  • want something from you, but
  • 00:16:20.290 --> 00:16:23.030
  • someone who's willing to be a
  • 00:16:23.030 --> 00:16:24.220
  • friend to you.
  • 00:16:24.220 --> 00:16:26.130
  • You want to overcome loneliness,
  • 00:16:26.130 --> 00:16:28.130
  • a godly friend.
  • 00:16:28.130 --> 00:16:31.040
  • Somebody who's willing to give
  • 00:16:31.040 --> 00:16:32.130
  • of themselves to you in a godly
  • 00:16:32.130 --> 00:16:33.190
  • way, that will lift us up and
  • 00:16:33.190 --> 00:16:35.190
  • not drag us down.
  • 00:16:35.190 --> 00:16:37.160
  • But He wants us to be strong
  • 00:16:37.160 --> 00:16:39.000
  • enough to reach out to people
  • 00:16:39.000 --> 00:16:41.100
  • who are living down, and who are
  • 00:16:41.100 --> 00:16:44.080
  • lonely, and who need a friend.
  • 00:16:44.080 --> 00:16:46.180
  • But watch this carefully, be
  • 00:16:46.180 --> 00:16:48.230
  • sure you don't listen to the
  • 00:16:48.230 --> 00:16:50.030
  • devil who says, "Well, here's
  • 00:16:50.030 --> 00:16:51.200
  • somebody who needs you.
  • 00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:53.040
  • You can help them.
  • 00:16:53.040 --> 00:16:54.260
  • Just go."
  • 00:16:54.260 --> 00:16:56.170
  • Not necessarily, because some
  • 00:16:56.170 --> 00:16:58.110
  • people will drag you down.
  • 00:16:58.110 --> 00:17:00.260
  • There're looking for somebody
  • 00:17:00.260 --> 00:17:02.090
  • who will agree with them.
  • 00:17:02.090 --> 00:17:03.200
  • They're looking for somebody who
  • 00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:05.010
  • will enjoy the same sin that
  • 00:17:05.070 --> 00:17:08.070
  • they've enjoyed.
  • 00:17:08.070 --> 00:17:09.270
  • That is not freedom, and that is
  • 00:17:09.270 --> 00:17:11.250
  • not healthy.
  • 00:17:11.250 --> 00:17:13.090
  • It's not what God's says you and
  • 00:17:13.090 --> 00:17:15.050
  • I should do.
  • 00:17:15.050 --> 00:17:16.200
  • Sometimes you have to walk away.
  • 00:17:16.200 --> 00:17:18.250
  • God gives us wisdom to who we
  • 00:17:18.250 --> 00:17:20.140
  • can help and who we cannot help.
  • 00:17:20.140 --> 00:17:22.200
  • Or, if we're in a position,
  • 00:17:22.200 --> 00:17:24.180
  • spiritually, to help them.
  • 00:17:24.180 --> 00:17:26.210
  • Or, if our relationship to Jesus
  • 00:17:26.210 --> 00:17:29.080
  • is strong enough, that we can
  • 00:17:29.080 --> 00:17:31.040
  • give of ourselves to them to
  • 00:17:31.040 --> 00:17:32.120
  • help them.
  • 00:17:32.120 --> 00:17:34.020
  • He'll show you who to help.
  • 00:17:34.020 --> 00:17:36.060
  • He'll show you who you can be a
  • 00:17:36.060 --> 00:17:38.010
  • friend to, and who, on the other
  • 00:17:38.010 --> 00:17:39.260
  • hand, with good intentions, will
  • 00:17:39.260 --> 00:17:41.250
  • drag you down.
  • 00:17:41.250 --> 00:17:44.130
  • You think about your children,
  • 00:17:44.130 --> 00:17:45.270
  • think about teenagers, for
  • 00:17:45.270 --> 00:17:47.000
  • example.
  • 00:17:47.000 --> 00:17:48.100
  • What do you say to them, and
  • 00:17:48.100 --> 00:17:49.280
  • your grandchildren?
  • 00:17:49.280 --> 00:17:50.270
  • What do you say to them?
  • 00:17:50.270 --> 00:17:51.290
  • "Watch who you run with, because
  • 00:17:51.290 --> 00:17:54.180
  • most of them will want to drag
  • 00:17:54.180 --> 00:17:56.200
  • you down."
  • 00:17:56.200 --> 00:17:57.130
  • "Well, you need to try this."
  • 00:17:57.130 --> 00:17:59.000
  • There're some things in life you
  • 00:17:59.000 --> 00:18:00.030
  • do not need to try.
  • 00:18:00.030 --> 00:18:02.080
  • You need to ask God to give you
  • 00:18:02.080 --> 00:18:03.250
  • wisdom to be able to detect in
  • 00:18:03.250 --> 00:18:06.210
  • someone else's ideas about what
  • 00:18:06.210 --> 00:18:09.040
  • friendship's really all about.
  • 00:18:09.040 --> 00:18:12.040
  • Choose to believe the truth,
  • 00:18:12.040 --> 00:18:15.020
  • that you're not alone, that
  • 00:18:15.020 --> 00:18:16.060
  • Christ is with you every
  • 00:18:16.060 --> 00:18:17.100
  • situation in your life.
  • 00:18:17.100 --> 00:18:19.190
  • You're not alone.
  • 00:18:19.190 --> 00:18:20.290
  • You may feel it, but you're not
  • 00:18:20.290 --> 00:18:23.010
  • alone.
  • 00:18:23.010 --> 00:18:24.100
  • He's always there,
  • 00:18:24.100 --> 00:18:25.200
  • realistically.
  • 00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:27.170
  • He is there, ready to reveal
  • 00:18:27.170 --> 00:18:30.070
  • Himself to you.
  • 00:18:30.070 --> 00:18:31.220
  • Do not believe that you're all
  • 00:18:31.220 --> 00:18:33.110
  • alone, and remember as we said
  • 00:18:33.110 --> 00:18:35.180
  • before, and I say it again on
  • 00:18:35.180 --> 00:18:36.230
  • purpose.
  • 00:18:36.230 --> 00:18:37.240
  • Remember you have the Holy
  • 00:18:37.240 --> 00:18:38.270
  • Spirit living within you.
  • 00:18:38.270 --> 00:18:41.050
  • And when people say, "Well, I
  • 00:18:41.050 --> 00:18:42.100
  • just can't, I just can't be
  • 00:18:42.100 --> 00:18:43.120
  • alone."
  • 00:18:43.120 --> 00:18:44.180
  • What that's saying is, that
  • 00:18:44.180 --> 00:18:46.220
  • emotionally, you are not mature
  • 00:18:46.220 --> 00:18:49.010
  • enough to live alone if you have
  • 00:18:49.010 --> 00:18:51.130
  • to.
  • 00:18:51.130 --> 00:18:52.050
  • And so, what do you do?
  • 00:18:52.050 --> 00:18:52.290
  • You got to have somebody.
  • 00:18:52.290 --> 00:18:54.150
  • Be on guard, be alert, be
  • 00:18:55.120 --> 00:18:58.120
  • careful.
  • 00:18:58.120 --> 00:18:59.150
  • The fire is out there, the traps
  • 00:18:59.150 --> 00:19:01.150
  • are out there, the holes are out
  • 00:19:01.150 --> 00:19:03.220
  • there.
  • 00:19:03.220 --> 00:19:04.200
  • And if you're not careful,
  • 00:19:04.200 --> 00:19:06.000
  • somebody comes along, you need
  • 00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:07.240
  • to ask questions.
  • 00:19:07.240 --> 00:19:10.150
  • Somebody wants to be your
  • 00:19:10.150 --> 00:19:11.100
  • friend, find out who they are,
  • 00:19:12.150 --> 00:19:15.150
  • what kind of friend they are to
  • 00:19:15.150 --> 00:19:16.230
  • somebody else, and who's their
  • 00:19:16.230 --> 00:19:18.010
  • friend?
  • 00:19:18.010 --> 00:19:19.130
  • If somebody wants to be my
  • 00:19:19.130 --> 00:19:20.090
  • friend, I want to know who their
  • 00:19:20.090 --> 00:19:22.050
  • friend is.
  • 00:19:22.050 --> 00:19:24.040
  • Their friend could be most
  • 00:19:24.040 --> 00:19:25.220
  • anybody, so friendship is
  • 00:19:25.280 --> 00:19:28.280
  • absolutely essential to a full
  • 00:19:28.280 --> 00:19:30.240
  • life.
  • 00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:32.120
  • But friendship, first of all,
  • 00:19:32.120 --> 00:19:34.050
  • with the Lord Jesus Christ.
  • 00:19:34.050 --> 00:19:36.020
  • He will show you who you can be
  • 00:19:36.020 --> 00:19:37.030
  • a friend with.
  • 00:19:37.030 --> 00:19:38.060
  • He will show you the person who
  • 00:19:38.060 --> 00:19:40.110
  • needs your friendship for you
  • 00:19:40.280 --> 00:19:43.280
  • to build them up.
  • 00:19:43.280 --> 00:19:45.170
  • And then, I'm going to list some
  • 00:19:45.170 --> 00:19:46.290
  • very practical things besides
  • 00:19:46.290 --> 00:19:49.170
  • those and another one is this.
  • 00:19:49.170 --> 00:19:51.190
  • Make it a priority to read the
  • 00:19:51.190 --> 00:19:53.010
  • Word of God every day.
  • 00:19:53.010 --> 00:19:55.040
  • A priority to read the Word of
  • 00:19:55.040 --> 00:19:56.140
  • God every day and pray.
  • 00:19:56.140 --> 00:19:59.000
  • Now, when you read in the Word
  • 00:19:59.000 --> 00:20:01.190
  • of God what God has said and
  • 00:20:01.250 --> 00:20:04.250
  • desires to speak to you, who
  • 00:20:04.250 --> 00:20:06.210
  • kept--who put this together?
  • 00:20:06.210 --> 00:20:08.150
  • Man didn't put this together,
  • 00:20:08.150 --> 00:20:09.190
  • this is God's Word in order to
  • 00:20:09.190 --> 00:20:11.140
  • teach us how to live, how to
  • 00:20:11.140 --> 00:20:13.030
  • relate to Him, how to be a
  • 00:20:13.030 --> 00:20:14.110
  • friend, how to be a help, how to
  • 00:20:14.110 --> 00:20:16.070
  • have a discerning spirit to know
  • 00:20:16.070 --> 00:20:17.190
  • what's right and what's wrong,
  • 00:20:17.190 --> 00:20:18.220
  • and what's good and not good.
  • 00:20:18.220 --> 00:20:20.250
  • He's given us His Word, and the
  • 00:20:20.250 --> 00:20:23.130
  • Word is like fuel in our life.
  • 00:20:24.280 --> 00:20:27.280
  • Keeps us going, spiritually.
  • 00:20:28.060 --> 00:20:31.060
  • And energy within our life.
  • 00:20:31.060 --> 00:20:33.040
  • When He says, "I'll never leave
  • 00:20:33.040 --> 00:20:34.030
  • you nor forsake you."
  • 00:20:34.030 --> 00:20:35.120
  • "I can do all things through
  • 00:20:35.120 --> 00:20:36.130
  • Christ who strengthen me,"
  • 00:20:36.130 --> 00:20:37.190
  • Paul said, so God's given us His
  • 00:20:37.190 --> 00:20:39.040
  • Word.
  • 00:20:39.040 --> 00:20:40.020
  • We should feed upon His Word
  • 00:20:40.020 --> 00:20:41.120
  • every day for the simple reason,
  • 00:20:41.120 --> 00:20:42.150
  • this.
  • 00:20:42.150 --> 00:20:43.220
  • Watch this, you heading the
  • 00:20:43.220 --> 00:20:45.170
  • wrong direction, somebody, but
  • 00:20:45.170 --> 00:20:47.050
  • you're reading the Bible every
  • 00:20:47.050 --> 00:20:48.020
  • day, you can mark it down.
  • 00:20:48.020 --> 00:20:50.010
  • You going to read a passage that
  • 00:20:50.010 --> 00:20:51.160
  • you weren't even looking for,
  • 00:20:51.160 --> 00:20:53.110
  • and your name's going to be all
  • 00:20:53.110 --> 00:20:54.160
  • over it.
  • 00:20:54.160 --> 00:20:55.180
  • And God's going to be warning
  • 00:20:55.180 --> 00:20:56.260
  • you, "Watch out, be careful,
  • 00:20:56.260 --> 00:20:58.220
  • walk away, that is not the right
  • 00:20:58.220 --> 00:21:00.250
  • relationship."
  • 00:21:00.250 --> 00:21:02.250
  • Neglect the Word of God and
  • 00:21:02.250 --> 00:21:04.040
  • you'll fall into traps.
  • 00:21:04.040 --> 00:21:06.290
  • Reading the Word of God and
  • 00:21:06.290 --> 00:21:07.280
  • praying every day, asking God to
  • 00:21:07.280 --> 00:21:10.110
  • give you direction.
  • 00:21:10.110 --> 00:21:12.000
  • Memorize a simple passage in the
  • 00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:13.250
  • Scripture that that you have to
  • 00:21:13.250 --> 00:21:16.000
  • deal.
  • 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:16.230
  • For example, if I had some need
  • 00:21:16.230 --> 00:21:18.070
  • and I didn't have any idea what
  • 00:21:18.070 --> 00:21:19.110
  • in the world was going on,
  • 00:21:19.110 --> 00:21:21.000
  • here's a passage I'd read.
  • 00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:23.180
  • "My God shall supply all your
  • 00:21:23.180 --> 00:21:25.030
  • needs according to His riches in
  • 00:21:25.030 --> 00:21:26.220
  • glory."
  • 00:21:26.220 --> 00:21:28.160
  • That is, whatever I need, He's
  • 00:21:28.160 --> 00:21:29.190
  • going to provide.
  • 00:21:29.190 --> 00:21:30.230
  • Now, somebody says, "Well, what
  • 00:21:30.230 --> 00:21:31.280
  • about dealing with situations
  • 00:21:31.280 --> 00:21:33.000
  • that can't be changed?"
  • 00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:35.150
  • And I would say accept it, call
  • 00:21:35.150 --> 00:21:37.110
  • on the Lord to help you through
  • 00:21:37.110 --> 00:21:38.110
  • it.
  • 00:21:38.110 --> 00:21:39.020
  • For example, your husband or
  • 00:21:39.020 --> 00:21:40.110
  • your wife dies.
  • 00:21:40.110 --> 00:21:42.150
  • You say, "Well, you're telling
  • 00:21:42.150 --> 00:21:43.130
  • me that I'm not to feel any
  • 00:21:43.130 --> 00:21:44.120
  • loneliness."
  • 00:21:44.120 --> 00:21:45.020
  • No, I didn't say that.
  • 00:21:45.020 --> 00:21:46.190
  • Naturally, when somebody who's a
  • 00:21:46.190 --> 00:21:49.090
  • part of your flesh almost is
  • 00:21:49.090 --> 00:21:51.170
  • gone, you're going to feel it.
  • 00:21:51.270 --> 00:21:54.270
  • But you feel it in the presence
  • 00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:59.000
  • of Jesus.
  • 00:21:59.000 --> 00:22:01.030
  • That if God took that person out
  • 00:22:01.030 --> 00:22:02.150
  • of your life, He had a reason to
  • 00:22:02.150 --> 00:22:04.180
  • take them.
  • 00:22:04.180 --> 00:22:06.000
  • And we can say it was this
  • 00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:06.260
  • disease, that, whatever it might
  • 00:22:06.260 --> 00:22:08.040
  • be, He took them.
  • 00:22:08.040 --> 00:22:10.190
  • He knew that you would remain
  • 00:22:10.190 --> 00:22:12.120
  • alone, and God is going to be
  • 00:22:12.120 --> 00:22:14.180
  • there from the very moment to
  • 00:22:14.180 --> 00:22:16.220
  • remind you, I am with you, I
  • 00:22:16.220 --> 00:22:19.050
  • will never forsake you, no
  • 00:22:19.050 --> 00:22:21.290
  • matter what.
  • 00:22:21.290 --> 00:22:24.170
  • So, naturally, there are periods
  • 00:22:24.170 --> 00:22:26.110
  • and times and trials in life
  • 00:22:26.110 --> 00:22:28.110
  • that you feel it.
  • 00:22:28.110 --> 00:22:29.260
  • But the issue is you decide not
  • 00:22:29.260 --> 00:22:31.250
  • to stay there.
  • 00:22:31.250 --> 00:22:34.000
  • And everybody is going to go
  • 00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:35.200
  • through those times when we lose
  • 00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:37.100
  • loved ones.
  • 00:22:37.100 --> 00:22:38.250
  • Whatever the reason may be, that
  • 00:22:38.250 --> 00:22:41.040
  • loneliness is a loneliness that
  • 00:22:41.040 --> 00:22:43.150
  • God will use to drive us to Him.
  • 00:22:43.210 --> 00:22:46.210
  • When our attitude is right.
  • 00:22:46.210 --> 00:22:48.160
  • Attitude is right, loneliness
  • 00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:49.250
  • can drive us to Him.
  • 00:22:49.250 --> 00:22:51.160
  • And then, I would say to you,
  • 00:22:52.130 --> 00:22:55.130
  • reach out to serve somebody.
  • 00:22:55.180 --> 00:22:58.180
  • There's something about giving
  • 00:22:58.180 --> 00:22:59.220
  • yourself away to people.
  • 00:22:59.220 --> 00:23:02.060
  • Be careful.
  • 00:23:02.060 --> 00:23:04.050
  • Somebody'll take advantage of
  • 00:23:04.050 --> 00:23:05.040
  • that, but you just say, "Lord,
  • 00:23:05.060 --> 00:23:08.060
  • You told us we're to be
  • 00:23:08.060 --> 00:23:09.240
  • servants, I'm willing to help
  • 00:23:09.240 --> 00:23:11.060
  • someone."
  • 00:23:11.060 --> 00:23:12.210
  • Watch this carefully, this is
  • 00:23:12.210 --> 00:23:14.220
  • why the primary issue here is
  • 00:23:14.220 --> 00:23:17.070
  • that the Holy Spirit is living
  • 00:23:17.070 --> 00:23:18.210
  • within you who will direct you
  • 00:23:18.210 --> 00:23:21.130
  • to who you can help.
  • 00:23:21.130 --> 00:23:23.010
  • And so, you have to ask Him for
  • 00:23:23.010 --> 00:23:24.050
  • direction for that.
  • 00:23:24.050 --> 00:23:25.200
  • Seeking fellowship with a godly
  • 00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:27.210
  • person who will challenge you to
  • 00:23:27.210 --> 00:23:30.130
  • be your best, because sometimes
  • 00:23:30.130 --> 00:23:32.240
  • God wants you to be a friend to
  • 00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:33.270
  • someone because He knows they
  • 00:23:33.270 --> 00:23:35.190
  • have a contribution they could
  • 00:23:35.190 --> 00:23:36.230
  • make to you.
  • 00:23:36.230 --> 00:23:37.250
  • They don't want anything from
  • 00:23:37.250 --> 00:23:38.290
  • you, they want to do something
  • 00:23:38.290 --> 00:23:40.100
  • that'll challenge you, grow you
  • 00:23:40.100 --> 00:23:42.040
  • up, mature you, help you,
  • 00:23:42.040 --> 00:23:44.000
  • encourage you.
  • 00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:45.130
  • Those are kind of friends we all
  • 00:23:45.130 --> 00:23:46.150
  • need.
  • 00:23:46.150 --> 00:23:48.060
  • We all had--need the kind of
  • 00:23:48.060 --> 00:23:50.240
  • connection in this life that
  • 00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:53.220
  • builds us up, helps us, enables
  • 00:23:53.220 --> 00:23:55.270
  • us, because doing that makes us
  • 00:23:56.160 --> 00:23:59.160
  • possible for us to do that with
  • 00:23:59.160 --> 00:24:01.020
  • somebody else.
  • 00:24:01.020 --> 00:24:02.280
  • He does not intend for us to
  • 00:24:02.280 --> 00:24:04.050
  • live lonely lives.
  • 00:24:04.120 --> 00:24:07.120
  • Godly people have a connect with
  • 00:24:08.050 --> 00:24:11.050
  • the Holy Spirit who will show
  • 00:24:11.050 --> 00:24:13.010
  • you exactly who you can relate
  • 00:24:13.010 --> 00:24:14.220
  • to and who you cannot relate to.
  • 00:24:14.220 --> 00:24:16.250
  • Somebody says, "Well, that
  • 00:24:16.250 --> 00:24:17.270
  • sounds selfish."
  • 00:24:17.270 --> 00:24:18.230
  • No, it's sounds very, very
  • 00:24:18.230 --> 00:24:20.190
  • important because you have to
  • 00:24:20.190 --> 00:24:22.210
  • make choices in life.
  • 00:24:22.210 --> 00:24:25.120
  • And choices of who your friend
  • 00:24:25.120 --> 00:24:26.240
  • will be is a very, very
  • 00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:29.100
  • significant choice.
  • 00:24:29.100 --> 00:24:32.060
  • "Come unto Me, all you that
  • 00:24:32.060 --> 00:24:33.130
  • labor and are heavy-laden, and
  • 00:24:33.130 --> 00:24:34.200
  • I'll give you rest."
  • 00:24:34.200 --> 00:24:35.280
  • Because He knows the weight, the
  • 00:24:36.040 --> 00:24:39.040
  • weight of loneliness.
  • 00:24:39.040 --> 00:24:41.020
  • It's a heavy, heavy, heavy
  • 00:24:41.020 --> 00:24:43.050
  • weight; but God can take that
  • 00:24:43.050 --> 00:24:45.060
  • weight off and give you a sense
  • 00:24:45.060 --> 00:24:47.030
  • of fulfillment and joy in your
  • 00:24:47.030 --> 00:24:48.260
  • heart that only He can give.
  • 00:24:51.140 --> 00:24:54.140
  • And when I think about how
  • 00:24:54.140 --> 00:24:56.170
  • significant it is that Jesus
  • 00:24:56.170 --> 00:24:58.250
  • sent the Holy Spirit into us so
  • 00:24:58.250 --> 00:25:00.190
  • that you and I will never, watch
  • 00:25:00.190 --> 00:25:01.270
  • this, we will never be alone,
  • 00:25:01.270 --> 00:25:04.220
  • never.
  • 00:25:04.220 --> 00:25:07.030
  • Never be alone.
  • 00:25:07.030 --> 00:25:08.180
  • You may feel lonely, never be
  • 00:25:08.180 --> 00:25:09.270
  • alone because He sealed you with
  • 00:25:10.030 --> 00:25:13.030
  • Himself.
  • 00:25:13.030 --> 00:25:15.030
  • You will always have that
  • 00:25:15.030 --> 00:25:17.000
  • connect.
  • 00:25:17.000 --> 00:25:18.090
  • It may get ruffled at times by
  • 00:25:18.090 --> 00:25:20.130
  • your relationships, but that
  • 00:25:20.130 --> 00:25:22.190
  • connection's always there.
  • 00:25:23.170 --> 00:25:26.170
  • Now, you know where you are in
  • 00:25:26.170 --> 00:25:27.170
  • life, you know who your friends
  • 00:25:27.170 --> 00:25:29.110
  • are, I would ask you this.
  • 00:25:29.110 --> 00:25:31.170
  • Are your friends dragging you
  • 00:25:31.170 --> 00:25:32.280
  • down or lifting you up?
  • 00:25:32.280 --> 00:25:35.240
  • Are they looking out for your
  • 00:25:35.240 --> 00:25:36.260
  • best interest or their own?
  • 00:25:37.130 --> 00:25:40.130
  • Are they giving you presents
  • 00:25:40.130 --> 00:25:41.260
  • because they want something or
  • 00:25:41.260 --> 00:25:44.050
  • because they love you?
  • 00:25:44.130 --> 00:25:47.130
  • Are they truly faithful to you,
  • 00:25:47.130 --> 00:25:49.260
  • or just giving you the image
  • 00:25:49.260 --> 00:25:51.030
  • that they are?
  • 00:25:51.030 --> 00:25:53.110
  • Who in your life is a true,
  • 00:25:53.110 --> 00:25:55.100
  • genuine friend?
  • 00:25:55.100 --> 00:25:58.030
  • Who's courting your friendship
  • 00:25:58.030 --> 00:26:00.220
  • who has ulterior motives?
  • 00:26:00.220 --> 00:26:03.170
  • In this day and time, we have to
  • 00:26:03.170 --> 00:26:05.120
  • ask questions.
  • 00:26:05.120 --> 00:26:07.060
  • We have to ask for God's
  • 00:26:07.060 --> 00:26:08.150
  • guidance, and direction, and
  • 00:26:08.150 --> 00:26:09.240
  • leadership in our life.
  • 00:26:09.240 --> 00:26:11.110
  • Then, when He gives you a sense
  • 00:26:11.110 --> 00:26:14.050
  • of mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
  • 00:26:14.050 --> 00:26:16.050
  • No, no, no, no, no.
  • 00:26:16.050 --> 00:26:18.210
  • You don't ignore that and keep
  • 00:26:18.210 --> 00:26:19.270
  • going.
  • 00:26:19.270 --> 00:26:21.070
  • When God stops you in a
  • 00:26:21.070 --> 00:26:23.120
  • relationship, He's saving you
  • 00:26:24.040 --> 00:26:27.040
  • from disaster.
  • 00:26:28.010 --> 00:26:31.010
  • And so, you listen to Him, you
  • 00:26:31.010 --> 00:26:33.210
  • obey Him, and you have the
  • 00:26:33.210 --> 00:26:36.030
  • awesome joy of having godly
  • 00:26:36.030 --> 00:26:37.230
  • friends who'll build you up,
  • 00:26:39.130 --> 00:26:42.130
  • never tear you down.
  • 00:26:42.130 --> 00:26:44.030
  • Now, think about this.
  • 00:26:44.030 --> 00:26:45.260
  • What is true of you, true of
  • 00:26:45.260 --> 00:26:47.170
  • your children, your
  • 00:26:47.170 --> 00:26:49.090
  • grandchildren.
  • 00:26:49.090 --> 00:26:51.060
  • You want your grandchildren and
  • 00:26:51.060 --> 00:26:52.190
  • your children to choose the
  • 00:26:52.190 --> 00:26:54.100
  • right kind of friends?
  • 00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:58.000
  • They're going to look at you,
  • 00:26:58.030 --> 00:27:01.050
  • who built up my dad or my
  • 00:27:01.050 --> 00:27:02.130
  • mother.
  • 00:27:02.130 --> 00:27:04.030
  • Who built up my--what kind of
  • 00:27:04.030 --> 00:27:05.250
  • folks did my grandparents have?
  • 00:27:06.260 --> 00:27:09.260
  • Life if so entwined, we have to
  • 00:27:10.100 --> 00:27:13.100
  • keep our eyes open, and our
  • 00:27:13.100 --> 00:27:15.230
  • heart sensitive to the voice of
  • 00:27:15.230 --> 00:27:17.240
  • God, then you'll have awesome
  • 00:27:17.240 --> 00:27:20.150
  • friends that one day you'll meet
  • 00:27:20.150 --> 00:27:22.250
  • in heaven and rejoice together.
  • 00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:26.000
  • Amen?
  • 00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:27.160
  • Father, we love You and praise
  • 00:27:27.160 --> 00:27:28.160
  • You, that You love us enough to
  • 00:27:28.160 --> 00:27:30.200
  • want to be our friend.
  • 00:27:30.230 --> 00:27:33.230
  • I pray the Holy Spirit will sink
  • 00:27:33.230 --> 00:27:36.040
  • these simple truths into every
  • 00:27:36.040 --> 00:27:37.260
  • heart who hears them.
  • 00:27:37.260 --> 00:27:40.130
  • That You would send a warning to
  • 00:27:40.130 --> 00:27:42.240
  • those who're headed in the wrong
  • 00:27:42.240 --> 00:27:44.090
  • direction.
  • 00:27:44.090 --> 00:27:46.100
  • That You'll give strength,
  • 00:27:46.100 --> 00:27:48.130
  • energy, and enjoyment to those
  • 00:27:48.130 --> 00:27:50.240
  • who're walking in Your ways.
  • 00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:53.220
  • Thank You for loving us enough
  • 00:27:53.220 --> 00:27:56.080
  • that we'll know, forever, that
  • 00:27:56.080 --> 00:27:58.100
  • You're always have been, always
  • 00:27:58.100 --> 00:28:00.230
  • will be our very best friend,
  • 00:28:02.090 --> 00:28:05.090
  • - announcer: Coming up in just
  • 00:28:11.090 --> 00:28:12.090
  • a moment, more with Dr. Charles
  • 00:28:12.090 --> 00:28:14.200
  • - announcer: What's my role in
  • 00:28:19.170 --> 00:28:20.190
  • the church?
  • 00:28:20.190 --> 00:28:21.290
  • Maybe it's helping those outside
  • 00:28:21.290 --> 00:28:23.120
  • the church get closer to God
  • 00:28:23.120 --> 00:28:25.100
  • while making lasting friendships
  • 00:28:25.100 --> 00:28:27.040
  • or serving those in need while
  • 00:28:27.040 --> 00:28:28.160
  • living and growing with others.
  • 00:28:28.160 --> 00:28:30.160
  • When we share God's love and
  • 00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:31.230
  • support each other, we
  • 00:28:31.230 --> 00:28:33.040
  • participate in the work of
  • 00:28:33.040 --> 00:28:34.050
  • building God's kingdom in our
  • 00:28:34.050 --> 00:28:35.210
  • local community.
  • 00:28:35.210 --> 00:28:37.140
  • Let's do more.
  • 00:28:37.140 --> 00:28:38.290
  • Continue with us as we find our
  • 00:28:38.290 --> 00:28:40.250
  • place in the whole church.
  • 00:28:40.250 --> 00:28:43.050
  • To learn more, go to
  • 00:28:43.050 --> 00:28:44.090
  • - Dr. Charles Stanley: How
  • 00:28:51.280 --> 00:28:52.150
  • valuable are my friends?
  • 00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:57.160
  • And the value you place on your
  • 00:28:57.160 --> 00:28:59.030
  • friends will be evidenced by the
  • 00:28:59.030 --> 00:29:01.260
  • way you treat your friends.
  • 00:29:02.110 --> 00:29:05.110
  • Nothing you say--it's the way
  • 00:29:05.110 --> 00:29:07.070
  • you treat them.
  • 00:29:07.070 --> 00:29:09.100
  • And the wonderful thing about
  • 00:29:09.100 --> 00:29:10.100
  • friendship is this: Jesus is the
  • 00:29:10.160 --> 00:29:13.160
  • best friend you and
  • 00:29:13.160 --> 00:29:14.290
  • - male announcer: Next on "In
  • 00:29:17.010 --> 00:29:17.270
  • Touch," we continue our 2019
  • 00:29:17.270 --> 00:29:20.140
  • focus on the whole church by
  • 00:29:20.140 --> 00:29:22.040
  • asking the question: how do we
  • 00:29:22.040 --> 00:29:23.290
  • foster intimate connection?
  • 00:29:23.290 --> 00:29:26.070
  • Today's message, "Thinking
  • 00:29:26.070 --> 00:29:27.180
  • - Dr. Charles Stanley: The Lord
  • 00:29:31.020 --> 00:29:31.210
  • has a plan for every single one
  • 00:29:31.210 --> 00:29:33.070
  • of our lives.
  • 00:29:33.070 --> 00:29:34.280
  • And part of that plan is He has
  • 00:29:35.160 --> 00:29:38.160
  • friendships for each of us,
  • 00:29:39.060 --> 00:29:42.060
  • because He does not want us to
  • 00:29:42.060 --> 00:29:43.160
  • live the life like an island all
  • 00:29:43.190 --> 00:29:46.190
  • by ourselves.
  • 00:29:46.190 --> 00:29:48.230
  • And many people have trusted
  • 00:29:48.230 --> 00:29:49.290
  • Jesus Christ as their personal
  • 00:29:49.290 --> 00:29:51.120
  • Savior as a result of a friend
  • 00:29:51.120 --> 00:29:54.070
  • who introduced them to Jesus.
  • 00:29:54.070 --> 00:29:57.040
  • Many people will tell you that
  • 00:29:57.040 --> 00:29:58.150
  • going through the most difficult
  • 00:29:58.150 --> 00:29:59.250
  • time of their life, it was their
  • 00:29:59.250 --> 00:30:01.130
  • friend who helped them
  • 00:30:01.130 --> 00:30:03.100
  • through it.
  • 00:30:03.100 --> 00:30:04.250
  • There are other people who will
  • 00:30:04.250 --> 00:30:05.210
  • tell you, "I had a friend, but I
  • 00:30:05.210 --> 00:30:08.030
  • don't know what happened to that
  • 00:30:08.030 --> 00:30:09.130
  • friendship."
  • 00:30:09.130 --> 00:30:10.280
  • Friends are treasures.
  • 00:30:11.010 --> 00:30:14.010
  • They are gifts from God.
  • 00:30:14.010 --> 00:30:16.270
  • And if you have a true, genuine
  • 00:30:16.270 --> 00:30:18.090
  • friend, you should be very
  • 00:30:18.090 --> 00:30:20.060
  • grateful.
  • 00:30:20.060 --> 00:30:21.100
  • When I try to think about what a
  • 00:30:21.100 --> 00:30:22.250
  • true friend is like, I think
  • 00:30:22.250 --> 00:30:25.010
  • about something I read many
  • 00:30:25.010 --> 00:30:26.190
  • years ago.
  • 00:30:26.190 --> 00:30:27.140
  • I don't know who wrote it, but I
  • 00:30:27.140 --> 00:30:29.050
  • copied it down and it came to my
  • 00:30:29.050 --> 00:30:30.250
  • mind the other day.
  • 00:30:30.250 --> 00:30:32.110
  • I thought, "Well, this is the
  • 00:30:32.110 --> 00:30:34.090
  • kind of friend I'd like to be.
  • 00:30:34.090 --> 00:30:36.250
  • This is the kind of friend I'd
  • 00:30:36.250 --> 00:30:38.010
  • like to have."
  • 00:30:38.010 --> 00:30:39.160
  • And so, I want to share that
  • 00:30:39.160 --> 00:30:40.250
  • with you.
  • 00:30:40.250 --> 00:30:42.000
  • And I'm going to put it up line
  • 00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:43.250
  • by line on the screen.
  • 00:30:43.250 --> 00:30:45.230
  • I think it's the kind of friends
  • 00:30:45.230 --> 00:30:47.020
  • you'd like to have, and I'm sure
  • 00:30:47.020 --> 00:30:49.230
  • it's the kind of friend you'd
  • 00:30:49.230 --> 00:30:51.100
  • like to be.
  • 00:30:51.100 --> 00:30:52.040
  • So, let's look at it.
  • 00:30:52.040 --> 00:30:53.220
  • A treasure, one who loves you as
  • 00:30:55.230 --> 00:30:58.230
  • you are no matter what's going
  • 00:30:58.230 --> 00:31:01.040
  • on.
  • 00:31:01.040 --> 00:31:02.200
  • One who sees not only who you
  • 00:31:02.200 --> 00:31:04.200
  • are, but who you can become.
  • 00:31:07.170 --> 00:31:10.170
  • One who is there to catch you
  • 00:31:10.170 --> 00:31:12.020
  • when you fall.
  • 00:31:12.180 --> 00:31:15.180
  • And one with whom you can share
  • 00:31:15.180 --> 00:31:17.050
  • your everyday experiences.
  • 00:31:17.200 --> 00:31:20.200
  • One who accepts your worst, but
  • 00:31:20.260 --> 00:31:23.260
  • helps you to become your best.
  • 00:31:24.270 --> 00:31:27.270
  • Someone who understands your
  • 00:31:27.270 --> 00:31:29.100
  • past, believes in your future
  • 00:31:29.220 --> 00:31:32.220
  • and accepts you today just the
  • 00:31:32.220 --> 00:31:34.150
  • way you are.
  • 00:31:34.150 --> 00:31:37.030
  • Someone who comes in when the
  • 00:31:37.030 --> 00:31:39.100
  • world, the whole world, has gone
  • 00:31:39.120 --> 00:31:42.120
  • out.
  • 00:31:42.120 --> 00:31:43.170
  • I think all of us would agree we
  • 00:31:43.170 --> 00:31:45.020
  • need those kind of friends.
  • 00:31:45.020 --> 00:31:46.270
  • And so, I'd ask you this
  • 00:31:46.270 --> 00:31:47.230
  • question: are you that kind of
  • 00:31:47.230 --> 00:31:49.240
  • friend to someone?
  • 00:31:52.010 --> 00:31:55.010
  • Do you have a friend who is that
  • 00:31:55.010 --> 00:31:58.010
  • to you?
  • 00:31:58.010 --> 00:32:00.110
  • When you read that and you
  • 00:32:00.110 --> 00:32:01.170
  • realize what is involved, you
  • 00:32:01.170 --> 00:32:03.200
  • realize why a friend is a
  • 00:32:03.200 --> 00:32:05.260
  • treasure, a gift from God, and
  • 00:32:06.280 --> 00:32:09.280
  • we all need friendships.
  • 00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:13.240
  • And the Bible says a lot about
  • 00:32:13.240 --> 00:32:14.270
  • friendships, and especially, for
  • 00:32:14.270 --> 00:32:16.070
  • example, in the book of
  • 00:32:16.070 --> 00:32:17.210
  • Proverbs.
  • 00:32:17.210 --> 00:32:18.270
  • And as I was thinking about the
  • 00:32:18.270 --> 00:32:20.180
  • kind of friendships we have and
  • 00:32:20.180 --> 00:32:22.190
  • think about, for example, there
  • 00:32:22.190 --> 00:32:23.270
  • are friendships all of us have
  • 00:32:23.270 --> 00:32:25.020
  • had that we've enjoyed,
  • 00:32:25.020 --> 00:32:27.130
  • friendships that we've trusted,
  • 00:32:27.130 --> 00:32:29.110
  • friendships that we believed in,
  • 00:32:29.110 --> 00:32:31.290
  • and friendships that we hoped
  • 00:32:31.290 --> 00:32:33.200
  • would last all of our life.
  • 00:32:33.200 --> 00:32:36.170
  • And yet, somewhere along the
  • 00:32:36.170 --> 00:32:37.200
  • way, something happens to them.
  • 00:32:37.200 --> 00:32:40.070
  • We get disappointed.
  • 00:32:40.070 --> 00:32:41.150
  • They walk away.
  • 00:32:41.150 --> 00:32:42.200
  • We don't know why.
  • 00:32:42.200 --> 00:32:43.240
  • Sometimes they tell us, and most
  • 00:32:43.240 --> 00:32:45.090
  • of the time, they
  • 00:32:45.090 --> 00:32:45.290
  • probably don't.
  • 00:32:45.290 --> 00:32:47.080
  • So, there are all kind of
  • 00:32:47.080 --> 00:32:48.120
  • friendships.
  • 00:32:48.120 --> 00:32:50.020
  • And what you and I need is a
  • 00:32:50.020 --> 00:32:51.090
  • friendship.
  • 00:32:51.090 --> 00:32:53.170
  • We need to have a friendship
  • 00:32:53.170 --> 00:32:55.230
  • with the Lord Jesus Christ,
  • 00:32:55.230 --> 00:32:57.070
  • first of all, who will equip us
  • 00:32:57.070 --> 00:32:59.130
  • and enable us to be the kind of
  • 00:32:59.130 --> 00:33:00.260
  • friends we need to be, and
  • 00:33:00.260 --> 00:33:03.250
  • people will be attracted to us
  • 00:33:03.250 --> 00:33:06.160
  • because of our friendship with
  • 00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:08.130
  • them and will want to be the
  • 00:33:08.130 --> 00:33:10.200
  • same kind of friend to us.
  • 00:33:10.200 --> 00:33:13.080
  • Who in your life could you count
  • 00:33:13.080 --> 00:33:15.260
  • today as being a true, genuine,
  • 00:33:16.030 --> 00:33:19.030
  • loving, faithful, loyal,
  • 00:33:19.030 --> 00:33:21.230
  • devoted, trustworthy friend?
  • 00:33:21.230 --> 00:33:24.210
  • Many people cannot name one
  • 00:33:24.210 --> 00:33:26.110
  • single person because they've
  • 00:33:26.110 --> 00:33:28.020
  • been hurt, they've been
  • 00:33:28.020 --> 00:33:28.210
  • disappointed.
  • 00:33:28.210 --> 00:33:29.180
  • They look at things that's
  • 00:33:29.180 --> 00:33:30.240
  • happened in their past and they
  • 00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:32.240
  • have been hurt so terribly they
  • 00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:34.270
  • could not ever trust again; at
  • 00:33:34.270 --> 00:33:36.260
  • least that's what they will tell
  • 00:33:36.260 --> 00:33:37.270
  • you.
  • 00:33:37.270 --> 00:33:38.200
  • The truth is they could if
  • 00:33:38.200 --> 00:33:39.230
  • they'd be willing to.
  • 00:33:39.230 --> 00:33:41.030
  • So, when I think about troubled
  • 00:33:41.030 --> 00:33:43.210
  • friendships, I think about in
  • 00:33:43.210 --> 00:33:45.130
  • this light, and that is
  • 00:33:45.130 --> 00:33:47.010
  • sometimes we form wrong
  • 00:33:47.010 --> 00:33:48.190
  • friendships.
  • 00:33:48.190 --> 00:33:50.010
  • And the book of Proverbs is very
  • 00:33:50.010 --> 00:33:51.130
  • clear about who we choose to be
  • 00:33:51.130 --> 00:33:54.010
  • our friends.
  • 00:33:54.010 --> 00:33:55.190
  • And somebody says, "Well, if
  • 00:33:55.190 --> 00:33:56.220
  • you're a Christian, can't you
  • 00:33:56.220 --> 00:33:58.090
  • choose anybody to be your
  • 00:33:58.090 --> 00:33:59.110
  • friend?"
  • 00:33:59.110 --> 00:33:59.280
  • Well, what does the Word of God
  • 00:33:59.280 --> 00:34:00.250
  • say?
  • 00:34:00.250 --> 00:34:01.180
  • So, I'm going to give you these
  • 00:34:01.180 --> 00:34:02.150
  • Scriptures and I'm going to read
  • 00:34:02.150 --> 00:34:04.100
  • them to you so you won't have to
  • 00:34:04.100 --> 00:34:05.130
  • look them up, it would take too
  • 00:34:05.130 --> 00:34:06.160
  • long.
  • 00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:07.150
  • But, first of all, the
  • 00:34:07.150 --> 00:34:10.100
  • Scripture's very clear about the
  • 00:34:10.100 --> 00:34:12.280
  • kind of friendships we should
  • 00:34:12.280 --> 00:34:14.070
  • not have, and the first one is
  • 00:34:14.070 --> 00:34:15.130
  • this.
  • 00:34:15.130 --> 00:34:16.090
  • The Bible says in Proverbs
  • 00:34:16.090 --> 00:34:17.140
  • twenty, verse nineteen, "Do not
  • 00:34:17.140 --> 00:34:19.160
  • associate with a gossip."
  • 00:34:19.160 --> 00:34:21.160
  • Listen, not only don't make
  • 00:34:21.160 --> 00:34:22.280
  • friends with gossips, don't even
  • 00:34:22.280 --> 00:34:25.010
  • have anything to do with them.
  • 00:34:25.010 --> 00:34:26.170
  • You say, "Oh, I don't believe
  • 00:34:26.170 --> 00:34:27.190
  • Jesus feels that-a-way."
  • 00:34:27.190 --> 00:34:29.040
  • Well, the Bible says, "Don't
  • 00:34:30.080 --> 00:34:33.080
  • have any relationship with a
  • 00:34:33.080 --> 00:34:34.230
  • gossip."
  • 00:34:34.230 --> 00:34:35.210
  • Now, why would God say such a
  • 00:34:35.210 --> 00:34:36.230
  • thing?
  • 00:34:36.230 --> 00:34:37.120
  • Because, first of all, you can't
  • 00:34:37.120 --> 00:34:38.240
  • trust a gossip.
  • 00:34:38.240 --> 00:34:40.120
  • You can't trust them to say
  • 00:34:40.120 --> 00:34:41.170
  • anything--that you can tell them
  • 00:34:41.170 --> 00:34:42.290
  • anything to keep a confidence
  • 00:34:42.290 --> 00:34:44.150
  • because the one thing a gossip
  • 00:34:44.150 --> 00:34:46.210
  • loves above everything else is
  • 00:34:46.210 --> 00:34:49.020
  • to be the one who has the final
  • 00:34:49.020 --> 00:34:50.180
  • word on you, and who can tell
  • 00:34:50.180 --> 00:34:52.280
  • what they want to tell about
  • 00:34:52.280 --> 00:34:54.030
  • you.
  • 00:34:54.030 --> 00:34:54.270
  • A gossip is a dangerous kind of
  • 00:34:54.270 --> 00:34:56.250
  • friendship, so God says, "Don't
  • 00:34:56.250 --> 00:34:58.100
  • have anything to do with a
  • 00:34:58.100 --> 00:34:59.220
  • gossip."
  • 00:34:59.220 --> 00:35:00.260
  • The second one is don't, listen,
  • 00:35:00.260 --> 00:35:03.020
  • He says, "Don't associate with a
  • 00:35:03.020 --> 00:35:05.040
  • person who's hot-tempered."
  • 00:35:05.040 --> 00:35:06.230
  • They just blow off all of a
  • 00:35:06.230 --> 00:35:08.010
  • sudden.
  • 00:35:08.010 --> 00:35:08.290
  • In Proverbs twenty-two, verse
  • 00:35:08.290 --> 00:35:10.200
  • twenty-four and twenty-five, "Do
  • 00:35:10.200 --> 00:35:12.070
  • not associate with a man," or a
  • 00:35:12.070 --> 00:35:13.260
  • woman, "given to anger, or go
  • 00:35:13.290 --> 00:35:16.290
  • with a hot-tempered man.
  • 00:35:16.290 --> 00:35:18.090
  • Or you will learn his ways and
  • 00:35:18.090 --> 00:35:19.210
  • find a snare for yourself."
  • 00:35:19.210 --> 00:35:21.060
  • What he's saying is this: when
  • 00:35:21.060 --> 00:35:22.290
  • you associate with people who
  • 00:35:22.290 --> 00:35:25.170
  • have very definite negative
  • 00:35:25.170 --> 00:35:28.060
  • attitudes and effects in life,
  • 00:35:28.060 --> 00:35:31.020
  • he says, "If you hang around
  • 00:35:31.020 --> 00:35:33.020
  • them and you associate with
  • 00:35:33.020 --> 00:35:34.140
  • them, more than likely they're
  • 00:35:34.140 --> 00:35:36.240
  • going to influence you."
  • 00:35:36.240 --> 00:35:37.290
  • And the Bible says that in a
  • 00:35:37.290 --> 00:35:39.050
  • number of different ways, that
  • 00:35:39.050 --> 00:35:40.270
  • the influence of the ungodly is
  • 00:35:40.270 --> 00:35:43.040
  • powerful.
  • 00:35:43.040 --> 00:35:44.090
  • And somebody will often say,
  • 00:35:44.090 --> 00:35:45.160
  • "Well, you know, I'm going to
  • 00:35:45.160 --> 00:35:47.070
  • marry this person because I'm
  • 00:35:47.070 --> 00:35:48.130
  • going to change him."
  • 00:35:48.130 --> 00:35:49.210
  • You just think you are.
  • 00:35:49.210 --> 00:35:51.280
  • And--or, "If I live a Christian
  • 00:35:51.280 --> 00:35:53.280
  • life before them, they will
  • 00:35:53.280 --> 00:35:55.160
  • certainly change."
  • 00:35:55.160 --> 00:35:56.180
  • Not always.
  • 00:35:56.180 --> 00:35:58.000
  • And so, he says be careful about
  • 00:35:58.000 --> 00:36:00.070
  • people who are gossips.
  • 00:36:00.070 --> 00:36:01.160
  • Be careful about people who are
  • 00:36:01.160 --> 00:36:02.160
  • hot-tempered, and he says in
  • 00:36:02.160 --> 00:36:04.100
  • chapter twenty-four of Proverbs,
  • 00:36:04.100 --> 00:36:06.170
  • he says, listen, "Do not
  • 00:36:06.170 --> 00:36:08.080
  • associate with those given to
  • 00:36:08.080 --> 00:36:10.040
  • change, for their calamity will
  • 00:36:10.040 --> 00:36:12.140
  • suddenly arise," which is, what
  • 00:36:12.140 --> 00:36:14.090
  • he means is those who are
  • 00:36:14.090 --> 00:36:15.110
  • disloyal and discontent.
  • 00:36:15.110 --> 00:36:17.200
  • If a person's discontent,
  • 00:36:17.200 --> 00:36:18.270
  • they're always changing.
  • 00:36:18.270 --> 00:36:20.160
  • You don't know whether you can
  • 00:36:20.160 --> 00:36:21.150
  • trust them or not.
  • 00:36:21.150 --> 00:36:22.010
  • Today you think you can,
  • 00:36:22.010 --> 00:36:23.000
  • tomorrow you know you can't.
  • 00:36:23.000 --> 00:36:24.160
  • And so, a person who is
  • 00:36:24.160 --> 00:36:25.260
  • discontent, unsettled in their
  • 00:36:25.260 --> 00:36:28.250
  • ways, he said, "Watch those
  • 00:36:28.250 --> 00:36:30.270
  • people because they'll influence
  • 00:36:30.270 --> 00:36:32.100
  • you."
  • 00:36:32.100 --> 00:36:33.070
  • In Proverbs twenty-eight, verse
  • 00:36:33.070 --> 00:36:34.240
  • seven, he warns us about people
  • 00:36:34.240 --> 00:36:36.270
  • who are self-indulgent.
  • 00:36:36.270 --> 00:36:39.100
  • You know, too much of this, too
  • 00:36:39.100 --> 00:36:40.220
  • much of that,
  • 00:36:40.220 --> 00:36:41.150
  • too much of the other.
  • 00:36:41.150 --> 00:36:42.000
  • The only thing they want is what
  • 00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:43.010
  • satisfies them or what seemingly
  • 00:36:43.090 --> 00:36:46.090
  • satisfies them at the moment.
  • 00:36:46.090 --> 00:36:48.220
  • Proverbs twenty-eight, seven,
  • 00:36:48.220 --> 00:36:50.150
  • "He who keeps the law is a
  • 00:36:50.150 --> 00:36:52.120
  • discerning person."
  • 00:36:52.120 --> 00:36:53.160
  • That is, they're under control.
  • 00:36:53.160 --> 00:36:55.210
  • "But he who is a companion of
  • 00:36:55.210 --> 00:36:57.140
  • gluttons humiliates his father."
  • 00:36:57.140 --> 00:36:59.180
  • That is, a person, it's all
  • 00:36:59.180 --> 00:37:01.060
  • about them.
  • 00:37:01.060 --> 00:37:02.190
  • It's all that they can do that
  • 00:37:02.190 --> 00:37:04.070
  • satisfies them.
  • 00:37:04.070 --> 00:37:05.160
  • Don't have anything to do with
  • 00:37:05.160 --> 00:37:06.230
  • those kind of people.
  • 00:37:06.230 --> 00:37:08.020
  • Then the immoral, and chapter
  • 00:37:08.020 --> 00:37:09.280
  • twenty-nine, verse three, he
  • 00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:11.080
  • says, "He who keeps company with
  • 00:37:11.080 --> 00:37:12.200
  • harlots wastes wealth."
  • 00:37:12.200 --> 00:37:14.260
  • And it's interesting in the
  • 00:37:14.260 --> 00:37:16.010
  • fifth chapter of Proverbs, of
  • 00:37:16.010 --> 00:37:19.000
  • all the things the Lord says
  • 00:37:19.000 --> 00:37:20.250
  • about all different kind of
  • 00:37:20.250 --> 00:37:22.100
  • people.
  • 00:37:22.100 --> 00:37:23.040
  • In the fifth chapter of the
  • 00:37:23.040 --> 00:37:24.010
  • Proverbs, he goes on for about
  • 00:37:24.010 --> 00:37:26.170
  • eleven verses about giving
  • 00:37:27.060 --> 00:37:30.060
  • attention to wisdom and being
  • 00:37:30.060 --> 00:37:32.030
  • discreet and watching out for an
  • 00:37:32.030 --> 00:37:34.080
  • adulteress or an adulterer.
  • 00:37:34.080 --> 00:37:36.060
  • And he describes what they do
  • 00:37:36.060 --> 00:37:37.280
  • and what happens as a result.
  • 00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:40.010
  • And so, he says, "Keep yourself
  • 00:37:40.010 --> 00:37:42.130
  • away from them.
  • 00:37:42.130 --> 00:37:43.190
  • Don't even head in that
  • 00:37:43.190 --> 00:37:45.040
  • direction.
  • 00:37:45.040 --> 00:37:46.010
  • Don't give thought to that."
  • 00:37:46.010 --> 00:37:48.040
  • And so, he gives us fair warning
  • 00:37:48.040 --> 00:37:50.230
  • in Proverbs chapter five.
  • 00:37:50.230 --> 00:37:52.170
  • Stay away from it.
  • 00:37:52.170 --> 00:37:54.000
  • In other words, you can't--in
  • 00:37:54.000 --> 00:37:55.200
  • other words, you say--the Bible
  • 00:37:55.200 --> 00:37:56.250
  • says you can't take fire into
  • 00:37:56.250 --> 00:37:58.160
  • your bosom without being burned.
  • 00:37:58.160 --> 00:38:01.050
  • So, if you want to get in
  • 00:38:01.050 --> 00:38:02.080
  • trouble, then you have
  • 00:38:02.080 --> 00:38:04.160
  • friendships that are troubling
  • 00:38:04.160 --> 00:38:06.170
  • friendships, that absolutely
  • 00:38:06.170 --> 00:38:08.070
  • will tear you down and not build
  • 00:38:08.070 --> 00:38:10.060
  • you up.
  • 00:38:10.060 --> 00:38:11.050
  • And then he says, for example,
  • 00:38:11.050 --> 00:38:12.220
  • in Proverbs thirteen, twenty,
  • 00:38:12.220 --> 00:38:14.180
  • "He who walks with wise men will
  • 00:38:14.180 --> 00:38:16.120
  • be wise, but the companion of
  • 00:38:16.120 --> 00:38:17.250
  • fools will suffer harm."
  • 00:38:17.250 --> 00:38:19.290
  • And the Bible says a fool is a
  • 00:38:19.290 --> 00:38:21.080
  • person who does not believe in
  • 00:38:21.080 --> 00:38:23.200
  • God.
  • 00:38:23.200 --> 00:38:24.080
  • A fool says there is no God.
  • 00:38:24.080 --> 00:38:25.140
  • But fools also, listen, are
  • 00:38:25.140 --> 00:38:27.190
  • those who do not accept the
  • 00:38:27.190 --> 00:38:30.000
  • Lord, who shut God out of their
  • 00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:31.050
  • life.
  • 00:38:31.050 --> 00:38:31.240
  • They're fools.
  • 00:38:31.240 --> 00:38:32.150
  • They're foolish, because they're
  • 00:38:32.150 --> 00:38:33.270
  • trying to live their life apart
  • 00:38:33.270 --> 00:38:35.060
  • from God.
  • 00:38:35.060 --> 00:38:36.050
  • So, don't even get it--don't
  • 00:38:36.050 --> 00:38:37.200
  • even get into a friendship.
  • 00:38:37.200 --> 00:38:39.190
  • And if somebody does not believe
  • 00:38:39.190 --> 00:38:40.270
  • in God, you say, "Well, how am I
  • 00:38:40.270 --> 00:38:42.140
  • going to win anybody to Jesus
  • 00:38:42.140 --> 00:38:43.210
  • without being their friend?"
  • 00:38:43.210 --> 00:38:44.200
  • I'll tell you how.
  • 00:38:44.200 --> 00:38:45.280
  • You can confront them with the
  • 00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:47.170
  • gospel of Jesus Christ in a
  • 00:38:47.170 --> 00:38:48.290
  • loving way.
  • 00:38:48.290 --> 00:38:49.280
  • That doesn't mean, listen, you
  • 00:38:49.280 --> 00:38:51.220
  • can have a relationship without
  • 00:38:51.220 --> 00:38:53.260
  • a friendship.
  • 00:38:53.260 --> 00:38:55.080
  • And some friendships are
  • 00:38:55.080 --> 00:38:56.170
  • dangerous.
  • 00:38:56.170 --> 00:38:57.190
  • And so, you can witness to
  • 00:38:57.190 --> 00:38:58.270
  • somebody and be loving and kind
  • 00:38:58.270 --> 00:39:01.090
  • without developing a friend.
  • 00:39:01.090 --> 00:39:03.030
  • That person becomes a friend,
  • 00:39:03.030 --> 00:39:04.250
  • you ought to have friends of
  • 00:39:04.250 --> 00:39:06.120
  • people who are loyal, devoted,
  • 00:39:06.120 --> 00:39:08.260
  • who love the same God you love
  • 00:39:08.260 --> 00:39:10.260
  • and walk the same way you walk
  • 00:39:10.260 --> 00:39:12.210
  • because if you don't, according
  • 00:39:12.210 --> 00:39:14.030
  • to the Scripture, you're going
  • 00:39:14.030 --> 00:39:15.190
  • to be highly influenced by other
  • 00:39:15.190 --> 00:39:17.220
  • people.
  • 00:39:17.220 --> 00:39:18.120
  • And usually, it's the wrong kind
  • 00:39:18.120 --> 00:39:20.010
  • of influence.
  • 00:39:20.010 --> 00:39:20.270
  • So, very, very clear what the
  • 00:39:20.270 --> 00:39:23.150
  • Scripture says.
  • 00:39:23.150 --> 00:39:24.150
  • In fact, he says, "The way of a
  • 00:39:24.150 --> 00:39:25.270
  • fool is right in his own eyes,
  • 00:39:25.270 --> 00:39:27.260
  • naturally, but a fool is an
  • 00:39:27.260 --> 00:39:29.170
  • arrogant and careless person,
  • 00:39:29.170 --> 00:39:31.100
  • always losing his temper and so
  • 00:39:31.100 --> 00:39:32.260
  • forth."
  • 00:39:32.260 --> 00:39:33.240
  • And so, the Scripture warns us
  • 00:39:33.240 --> 00:39:35.270
  • about it because of the
  • 00:39:35.270 --> 00:39:37.050
  • absolutely evident impact of
  • 00:39:37.090 --> 00:39:40.090
  • that which oftentimes tears a
  • 00:39:40.090 --> 00:39:42.180
  • person down.
  • 00:39:42.180 --> 00:39:43.230
  • How many people have started out
  • 00:39:43.230 --> 00:39:46.090
  • and then got into relationships?
  • 00:39:46.090 --> 00:39:48.010
  • How many parents have said to
  • 00:39:48.010 --> 00:39:49.050
  • their children, "I don't feel
  • 00:39:49.050 --> 00:39:51.060
  • good about that person.
  • 00:39:51.060 --> 00:39:52.240
  • I don't feel good--" and listen,
  • 00:39:52.240 --> 00:39:54.030
  • if you're a young person, I'll
  • 00:39:54.030 --> 00:39:55.080
  • just put it this way.
  • 00:39:55.080 --> 00:39:57.020
  • Most of the time, probably about
  • 00:39:57.020 --> 00:39:59.100
  • ninety-eight percent of the
  • 00:39:59.100 --> 00:40:00.070
  • time, if a parent who loves you
  • 00:40:00.070 --> 00:40:02.230
  • says to you, "I don't feel good
  • 00:40:02.230 --> 00:40:05.040
  • about this particular person,"
  • 00:40:05.040 --> 00:40:06.120
  • you better listen.
  • 00:40:06.120 --> 00:40:07.110
  • Because I've lived long enough,
  • 00:40:07.110 --> 00:40:09.130
  • I've lived long enough to have
  • 00:40:09.130 --> 00:40:10.200
  • watched over and over and over
  • 00:40:10.200 --> 00:40:13.020
  • and over again, when parents
  • 00:40:13.020 --> 00:40:15.110
  • have warned their children, and
  • 00:40:15.110 --> 00:40:17.040
  • they say, "But you don't really
  • 00:40:17.040 --> 00:40:18.010
  • know him, you don't really know
  • 00:40:18.010 --> 00:40:19.080
  • her," and maybe months later or
  • 00:40:19.080 --> 00:40:21.140
  • a few years later, they say, "I
  • 00:40:21.140 --> 00:40:23.050
  • wish I had listened to you."
  • 00:40:23.050 --> 00:40:25.040
  • And I would ask you a question:
  • 00:40:25.040 --> 00:40:26.220
  • are you here this morning, are
  • 00:40:26.220 --> 00:40:28.020
  • you sitting there, maybe by
  • 00:40:28.020 --> 00:40:29.120
  • yourself in your apartment?
  • 00:40:29.120 --> 00:40:30.250
  • Only reason you've listened to
  • 00:40:30.250 --> 00:40:31.290
  • this far is when I said
  • 00:40:31.290 --> 00:40:33.150
  • something about not having
  • 00:40:33.150 --> 00:40:34.140
  • friends because you don't.
  • 00:40:34.140 --> 00:40:36.230
  • If you don't have a friend, you
  • 00:40:36.230 --> 00:40:37.280
  • are very lonely.
  • 00:40:37.280 --> 00:40:40.040
  • And no amount of alcohol, no
  • 00:40:40.040 --> 00:40:41.180
  • amount of money, no amount of
  • 00:40:41.180 --> 00:40:43.190
  • prestige and popularity can fill
  • 00:40:43.190 --> 00:40:46.070
  • the place of Jesus in your life,
  • 00:40:46.070 --> 00:40:48.210
  • who will be with you no matter
  • 00:40:48.210 --> 00:40:50.060
  • what.
  • 00:40:50.060 --> 00:40:51.000
  • Friendships are very valuable to
  • 00:40:51.000 --> 00:40:53.270
  • us.
  • 00:40:53.270 --> 00:40:54.200
  • We have to take care of them.
  • 00:40:54.200 --> 00:40:56.020
  • And so, it has to be nurtured,
  • 00:40:56.020 --> 00:40:58.060
  • and it's--we can make unwise
  • 00:40:58.060 --> 00:41:00.030
  • relationships, friendships, or
  • 00:41:00.030 --> 00:41:01.240
  • wise ones.
  • 00:41:01.240 --> 00:41:02.160
  • So, let's think about how you
  • 00:41:02.160 --> 00:41:05.100
  • make friendships.
  • 00:41:05.100 --> 00:41:06.240
  • Well, you say, "Well, you know,
  • 00:41:06.240 --> 00:41:08.110
  • you just meet somebody and
  • 00:41:08.110 --> 00:41:09.140
  • decide they'd be a good friend."
  • 00:41:09.140 --> 00:41:11.170
  • That's not the way you have
  • 00:41:11.170 --> 00:41:12.270
  • friendships.
  • 00:41:12.270 --> 00:41:14.010
  • Watch this carefully, you have
  • 00:41:14.010 --> 00:41:16.020
  • to build friendships.
  • 00:41:16.020 --> 00:41:18.160
  • Relationships can come and go.
  • 00:41:18.160 --> 00:41:20.060
  • Friendships you have to build.
  • 00:41:20.060 --> 00:41:22.080
  • You say, "Well, how do you build
  • 00:41:22.080 --> 00:41:23.210
  • a friendship?"
  • 00:41:23.210 --> 00:41:24.180
  • I'm going to give you a list.
  • 00:41:24.180 --> 00:41:26.030
  • Every single word in this list
  • 00:41:26.030 --> 00:41:27.070
  • is very important.
  • 00:41:27.070 --> 00:41:28.170
  • If you want to have real,
  • 00:41:28.170 --> 00:41:29.290
  • genuine friendships that really
  • 00:41:29.290 --> 00:41:31.190
  • make a difference in your life,
  • 00:41:31.190 --> 00:41:32.250
  • first of all, you have to spend
  • 00:41:32.250 --> 00:41:34.160
  • time with them.
  • 00:41:34.160 --> 00:41:36.030
  • In other words, you can't have
  • 00:41:36.030 --> 00:41:37.000
  • friendships that you don't have
  • 00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:38.150
  • time with that person.
  • 00:41:38.150 --> 00:41:40.100
  • Spend time with them.
  • 00:41:40.100 --> 00:41:41.110
  • Secondly, talk to them.
  • 00:41:41.110 --> 00:41:43.140
  • That's the second most
  • 00:41:43.140 --> 00:41:44.060
  • important.
  • 00:41:44.060 --> 00:41:44.290
  • You have to talk to them.
  • 00:41:44.290 --> 00:41:45.290
  • How do you develop friendships?
  • 00:41:45.290 --> 00:41:48.170
  • You learn who the other
  • 00:41:48.170 --> 00:41:49.120
  • person is.
  • 00:41:49.120 --> 00:41:50.110
  • How do you learn who the other
  • 00:41:50.110 --> 00:41:51.120
  • person is?
  • 00:41:51.120 --> 00:41:52.090
  • When they tell you about their
  • 00:41:52.090 --> 00:41:53.090
  • life, they tell you, first of
  • 00:41:53.090 --> 00:41:55.080
  • all, what they want you to know.
  • 00:41:55.080 --> 00:41:56.280
  • The more your friendships
  • 00:41:56.280 --> 00:41:58.120
  • develop, they tell you things
  • 00:41:58.120 --> 00:42:00.040
  • about their life that they
  • 00:42:00.040 --> 00:42:01.060
  • probably thought they wouldn't
  • 00:42:01.060 --> 00:42:02.100
  • tell anybody.
  • 00:42:02.100 --> 00:42:03.070
  • They become very, very honest.
  • 00:42:03.070 --> 00:42:04.200
  • And so, talking to each other's
  • 00:42:04.200 --> 00:42:06.050
  • what builds friendships.
  • 00:42:06.050 --> 00:42:07.200
  • And I talked to some of my
  • 00:42:07.200 --> 00:42:09.190
  • friends, and I have some
  • 00:42:09.190 --> 00:42:10.160
  • wonderful, wonderful, wonderful,
  • 00:42:10.160 --> 00:42:13.100
  • godly friends.
  • 00:42:13.100 --> 00:42:14.240
  • I talk to some of them every
  • 00:42:14.240 --> 00:42:16.040
  • single day.
  • 00:42:16.040 --> 00:42:17.280
  • Friendships, you have to give
  • 00:42:17.280 --> 00:42:19.030
  • time to.
  • 00:42:19.030 --> 00:42:20.090
  • You want to give time to.
  • 00:42:20.090 --> 00:42:21.160
  • Why?
  • 00:42:21.160 --> 00:42:22.040
  • They make you laugh.
  • 00:42:22.040 --> 00:42:23.140
  • They bring you happiness.
  • 00:42:23.140 --> 00:42:25.000
  • They encourage you.
  • 00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:26.080
  • That is, if you're going to be a
  • 00:42:26.080 --> 00:42:27.160
  • friend, you've got to be willing
  • 00:42:27.160 --> 00:42:29.040
  • to talk and to listen to the
  • 00:42:29.040 --> 00:42:30.100
  • other person.
  • 00:42:30.100 --> 00:42:31.120
  • And likewise, as you've got to
  • 00:42:31.120 --> 00:42:33.190
  • be willing to cry and willing to
  • 00:42:33.190 --> 00:42:36.050
  • laugh.
  • 00:42:36.050 --> 00:42:37.030
  • All of us go through situations
  • 00:42:37.030 --> 00:42:39.230
  • and circumstances that are
  • 00:42:39.230 --> 00:42:41.020
  • heartbreaking.
  • 00:42:41.020 --> 00:42:42.020
  • And if you're the kind of
  • 00:42:42.020 --> 00:42:43.030
  • person, now watch this, you have
  • 00:42:43.030 --> 00:42:44.130
  • to watch this one.
  • 00:42:44.130 --> 00:42:45.170
  • If you're the kind of person who
  • 00:42:45.170 --> 00:42:47.080
  • lives like this, you will never
  • 00:42:47.080 --> 00:42:50.080
  • have any friends, because you're
  • 00:42:50.080 --> 00:42:51.260
  • trying to cover up something in
  • 00:42:51.260 --> 00:42:53.220
  • your life that you need to
  • 00:42:53.220 --> 00:42:54.220
  • share.
  • 00:42:54.220 --> 00:42:55.150
  • In other words, when your
  • 00:42:55.150 --> 00:42:56.070
  • heart's broken, you need to
  • 00:42:56.070 --> 00:42:57.030
  • tell it.
  • 00:42:57.030 --> 00:42:57.250
  • You need to share it with
  • 00:42:57.250 --> 00:42:58.200
  • someone who's a real friend.
  • 00:42:58.200 --> 00:42:59.240
  • You get disappointed, either by
  • 00:42:59.240 --> 00:43:01.140
  • your friends or at work, or your
  • 00:43:01.140 --> 00:43:04.070
  • children or something.
  • 00:43:04.070 --> 00:43:05.120
  • And we laugh together and we cry
  • 00:43:05.120 --> 00:43:08.030
  • together.
  • 00:43:08.030 --> 00:43:08.200
  • That's what real, genuine
  • 00:43:08.200 --> 00:43:09.290
  • friendships are all about.
  • 00:43:09.290 --> 00:43:11.140
  • And then, of course, there are
  • 00:43:11.140 --> 00:43:12.120
  • trials.
  • 00:43:12.120 --> 00:43:13.060
  • All of us are going to have
  • 00:43:13.060 --> 00:43:14.030
  • trials in life.
  • 00:43:14.030 --> 00:43:15.080
  • We're going to go through things
  • 00:43:15.080 --> 00:43:16.130
  • that are very difficult.
  • 00:43:16.130 --> 00:43:17.180
  • If you're a real friend, you'll
  • 00:43:17.180 --> 00:43:20.140
  • be there when the trials come.
  • 00:43:20.140 --> 00:43:22.240
  • If you're a true friend, you're
  • 00:43:22.240 --> 00:43:24.100
  • going to share what you're going
  • 00:43:24.100 --> 00:43:25.290
  • through in life.
  • 00:43:25.290 --> 00:43:27.050
  • And if you try to be the kind of
  • 00:43:27.050 --> 00:43:28.210
  • friend who has no troubles, no
  • 00:43:28.210 --> 00:43:30.090
  • heartaches, no burdens, no this.
  • 00:43:30.090 --> 00:43:32.090
  • You've got everything, and
  • 00:43:32.090 --> 00:43:33.090
  • everything is just fine; that's
  • 00:43:33.090 --> 00:43:34.220
  • not friendship.
  • 00:43:34.220 --> 00:43:35.220
  • That is a dishonest cover-up,
  • 00:43:35.220 --> 00:43:37.230
  • that's what that is.
  • 00:43:37.230 --> 00:43:38.230
  • We all have trials we go through
  • 00:43:38.230 --> 00:43:41.110
  • in life, some more intense than
  • 00:43:41.110 --> 00:43:42.230
  • others.
  • 00:43:42.230 --> 00:43:43.210
  • But what do we do?
  • 00:43:43.210 --> 00:43:44.210
  • Keep them to ourselves?
  • 00:43:44.210 --> 00:43:45.230
  • No, we tell God about them
  • 00:43:45.230 --> 00:43:47.100
  • first, and then if you have a
  • 00:43:47.100 --> 00:43:48.290
  • friend, we share that.
  • 00:43:48.290 --> 00:43:50.250
  • Not to burden somebody else.
  • 00:43:50.250 --> 00:43:52.080
  • And you see, listen, if I'm your
  • 00:43:52.080 --> 00:43:53.210
  • friend and you're my friend and
  • 00:43:53.210 --> 00:43:55.120
  • you come unload on me, I don't
  • 00:43:55.120 --> 00:43:57.160
  • consider that a burden.
  • 00:43:57.160 --> 00:43:59.020
  • I'm grateful to God that you
  • 00:43:59.020 --> 00:44:00.160
  • felt free to tell me what was
  • 00:44:00.160 --> 00:44:02.070
  • going on in your life.
  • 00:44:02.070 --> 00:44:03.210
  • And what happens is this, the
  • 00:44:03.210 --> 00:44:06.110
  • more genuine that friendship is,
  • 00:44:06.110 --> 00:44:08.020
  • the more intimate you're going
  • 00:44:08.020 --> 00:44:09.160
  • to be willing to share things
  • 00:44:09.160 --> 00:44:11.130
  • that, in your life, that maybe
  • 00:44:11.130 --> 00:44:13.020
  • you wouldn't share with anybody.
  • 00:44:13.020 --> 00:44:14.080
  • And it may be that's the only
  • 00:44:14.080 --> 00:44:15.130
  • person you would tell.
  • 00:44:15.130 --> 00:44:17.250
  • But that's part of friendships.
  • 00:44:17.250 --> 00:44:19.170
  • And then of course,
  • 00:44:19.170 --> 00:44:20.170
  • thankfulness.
  • 00:44:20.170 --> 00:44:21.250
  • Think about this: when's the
  • 00:44:21.250 --> 00:44:23.010
  • last time you said to your
  • 00:44:23.010 --> 00:44:23.280
  • friend, "Thanks"?
  • 00:44:23.280 --> 00:44:25.140
  • When's the every--when's the
  • 00:44:25.140 --> 00:44:26.190
  • last time you sent a text, since
  • 00:44:26.190 --> 00:44:28.040
  • it's a text age, when's the last
  • 00:44:28.040 --> 00:44:29.260
  • time you sent them a text and
  • 00:44:29.260 --> 00:44:30.280
  • just said, "I was just thinking
  • 00:44:30.280 --> 00:44:32.040
  • about you this morning.
  • 00:44:32.040 --> 00:44:33.040
  • I want to thank you for being my
  • 00:44:33.040 --> 00:44:34.290
  • friend."
  • 00:44:34.290 --> 00:44:36.170
  • Now, you say, "Well, that's not
  • 00:44:36.170 --> 00:44:37.240
  • very long."
  • 00:44:37.240 --> 00:44:39.230
  • You know how I send texts?
  • 00:44:39.230 --> 00:44:40.270
  • And I don't like to send them.
  • 00:44:40.270 --> 00:44:43.100
  • I will send them, and if I just
  • 00:44:43.100 --> 00:44:45.020
  • say, "I just want you to know
  • 00:44:45.020 --> 00:44:47.040
  • that I love you."
  • 00:44:47.040 --> 00:44:47.280
  • You know what I do?
  • 00:44:47.280 --> 00:44:49.030
  • To emphasize that, I put about
  • 00:44:49.030 --> 00:44:50.280
  • five, six, seven, or ten
  • 00:44:50.280 --> 00:44:52.110
  • exclamation points behind it
  • 00:44:52.110 --> 00:44:54.090
  • because what I'm saying is I
  • 00:44:54.090 --> 00:44:55.250
  • really and truly love you, I do!
  • 00:44:55.250 --> 00:44:57.280
  • So, I don't know how to say that
  • 00:44:57.280 --> 00:44:59.170
  • in a text message any other way.
  • 00:45:00.080 --> 00:45:03.080
  • But you know what?
  • 00:45:03.080 --> 00:45:03.260
  • Sometimes that's all people
  • 00:45:03.260 --> 00:45:05.030
  • need.
  • 00:45:05.030 --> 00:45:05.220
  • "I'm praying for you this
  • 00:45:05.220 --> 00:45:06.200
  • morning, exclamation point."
  • 00:45:06.200 --> 00:45:08.240
  • In other words, it means, what
  • 00:45:08.240 --> 00:45:10.140
  • it says to me, "I really mean
  • 00:45:10.140 --> 00:45:11.270
  • it."
  • 00:45:11.270 --> 00:45:12.200
  • So, that's my way of saying, "I
  • 00:45:12.200 --> 00:45:13.270
  • really mean it, in case you
  • 00:45:13.270 --> 00:45:14.260
  • question that."
  • 00:45:14.260 --> 00:45:15.200
  • So, being thankful.
  • 00:45:15.200 --> 00:45:17.170
  • And then being thoughtful.
  • 00:45:17.170 --> 00:45:19.220
  • And there are all different kind
  • 00:45:19.220 --> 00:45:20.180
  • of ways to be thoughtful to
  • 00:45:20.180 --> 00:45:21.280
  • somebody.
  • 00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:23.100
  • And whether it's--you--whether
  • 00:45:23.100 --> 00:45:25.120
  • you tell them that you're
  • 00:45:25.120 --> 00:45:27.140
  • grateful for something they did,
  • 00:45:27.140 --> 00:45:29.080
  • or as we say, text them.
  • 00:45:29.080 --> 00:45:30.170
  • Or you write them a note.
  • 00:45:30.170 --> 00:45:32.110
  • But I think a little note
  • 00:45:32.110 --> 00:45:33.240
  • doesn't take long to say, "Thank
  • 00:45:33.240 --> 00:45:35.220
  • you very much, that was
  • 00:45:35.220 --> 00:45:37.070
  • thoughtful of you.
  • 00:45:37.070 --> 00:45:38.200
  • Thanks.
  • 00:45:38.200 --> 00:45:39.150
  • How could you be so thoughtful?"
  • 00:45:39.150 --> 00:45:41.200
  • In other words, it doesn't take
  • 00:45:41.200 --> 00:45:42.270
  • much.
  • 00:45:42.270 --> 00:45:43.160
  • And what happens is this: when
  • 00:45:43.160 --> 00:45:45.120
  • you are thoughtful and you
  • 00:45:45.120 --> 00:45:47.010
  • express it, something happens.
  • 00:45:47.010 --> 00:45:49.130
  • First of all, something happens
  • 00:45:49.130 --> 00:45:51.060
  • that is released in you
  • 00:45:51.060 --> 00:45:52.270
  • emotionally.
  • 00:45:52.270 --> 00:45:53.250
  • And secondly, listen, it's
  • 00:45:53.250 --> 00:45:55.260
  • released in you and lifts the
  • 00:45:55.260 --> 00:45:57.210
  • other person.
  • 00:45:57.210 --> 00:45:59.000
  • It's like a smile.
  • 00:45:59.000 --> 00:46:00.140
  • For example, let's say that
  • 00:46:00.140 --> 00:46:01.180
  • you're sort of down in the dumps
  • 00:46:01.180 --> 00:46:02.190
  • and somebody comes to see you
  • 00:46:02.190 --> 00:46:04.100
  • about whatever it might be, and
  • 00:46:04.100 --> 00:46:05.150
  • next thing you know, they've
  • 00:46:05.150 --> 00:46:06.240
  • been smiling, and here you're
  • 00:46:06.240 --> 00:46:08.050
  • smiling and you--and, they've
  • 00:46:08.050 --> 00:46:09.220
  • lifted you up.
  • 00:46:09.220 --> 00:46:10.190
  • That's what friends should do.
  • 00:46:10.190 --> 00:46:11.260
  • They should lift each other,
  • 00:46:11.260 --> 00:46:13.120
  • whatever it takes; and
  • 00:46:13.120 --> 00:46:14.200
  • oftentimes, it takes very, very
  • 00:46:14.200 --> 00:46:16.160
  • little, just being thoughtful.
  • 00:46:16.160 --> 00:46:18.000
  • Or it may be that you're
  • 00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:19.030
  • thoughtful by giving them
  • 00:46:19.030 --> 00:46:19.280
  • something that you know they
  • 00:46:19.280 --> 00:46:21.060
  • want.
  • 00:46:21.060 --> 00:46:23.070
  • And we live in a selfish age.
  • 00:46:23.240 --> 00:46:26.240
  • It doesn't take much to express
  • 00:46:26.240 --> 00:46:28.270
  • thoughtfulness, just a little
  • 00:46:28.270 --> 00:46:30.190
  • something here and there.
  • 00:46:30.190 --> 00:46:32.120
  • And we're expressing
  • 00:46:32.120 --> 00:46:33.250
  • appreciation, our love, and our
  • 00:46:33.250 --> 00:46:36.240
  • kindness toward the other
  • 00:46:36.240 --> 00:46:37.260
  • person.
  • 00:46:37.260 --> 00:46:38.130
  • Then of course, there's
  • 00:46:38.130 --> 00:46:39.160
  • tolerance.
  • 00:46:39.160 --> 00:46:40.160
  • In other words, to be friends,
  • 00:46:40.160 --> 00:46:43.000
  • you have to tolerate things.
  • 00:46:43.000 --> 00:46:44.050
  • Nobody's perfect.
  • 00:46:44.050 --> 00:46:46.070
  • We all have our failures about
  • 00:46:46.070 --> 00:46:47.260
  • things.
  • 00:46:47.260 --> 00:46:48.120
  • Or maybe we'd say something that
  • 00:46:48.120 --> 00:46:49.200
  • disappoints the other person, or
  • 00:46:49.200 --> 00:46:51.200
  • maybe say something that hurt
  • 00:46:51.200 --> 00:46:54.050
  • somebody's feelings.
  • 00:46:54.050 --> 00:46:55.080
  • Sometimes you can hurt somebody
  • 00:46:55.080 --> 00:46:56.200
  • else's feelings when you didn't
  • 00:46:56.200 --> 00:46:57.250
  • mean that at all.
  • 00:46:57.250 --> 00:46:59.060
  • And when the person realizes you
  • 00:46:59.060 --> 00:47:00.260
  • didn't really mean that, they
  • 00:47:00.260 --> 00:47:02.120
  • tolerate that and move on and
  • 00:47:02.120 --> 00:47:03.290
  • don't hold it against you.
  • 00:47:03.290 --> 00:47:05.090
  • You can't, listen, you can't
  • 00:47:05.090 --> 00:47:07.090
  • live with your antennas out.
  • 00:47:07.090 --> 00:47:09.200
  • Who's going to say something
  • 00:47:09.200 --> 00:47:10.270
  • wrong about me today?
  • 00:47:10.270 --> 00:47:12.140
  • In other words, what's--you
  • 00:47:12.140 --> 00:47:13.060
  • can't live that way.
  • 00:47:13.060 --> 00:47:14.250
  • You've got to, listen, you've
  • 00:47:14.250 --> 00:47:16.050
  • got to live thanking God that He
  • 00:47:16.050 --> 00:47:18.040
  • loves you, He tolerates us every
  • 00:47:18.040 --> 00:47:20.020
  • single day, forgives us for our
  • 00:47:20.020 --> 00:47:21.240
  • mistakes.
  • 00:47:21.240 --> 00:47:23.040
  • And then of course, watch this
  • 00:47:23.040 --> 00:47:24.270
  • now, touching.
  • 00:47:24.270 --> 00:47:27.260
  • Touching is very important in
  • 00:47:27.260 --> 00:47:29.230
  • friendships.
  • 00:47:29.230 --> 00:47:30.230
  • Now, for example, I have some
  • 00:47:30.230 --> 00:47:33.100
  • men friends whom I love dearly.
  • 00:47:34.020 --> 00:47:37.020
  • I don't shake hands with them.
  • 00:47:37.220 --> 00:47:40.220
  • It's not because I'm afraid of
  • 00:47:40.220 --> 00:47:41.290
  • getting contaminated.
  • 00:47:41.290 --> 00:47:44.160
  • It's because a handshake's not
  • 00:47:44.160 --> 00:47:46.110
  • enough.
  • 00:47:46.110 --> 00:47:47.090
  • And you know whose hand you
  • 00:47:47.090 --> 00:47:49.060
  • should shake and whom you should
  • 00:47:49.060 --> 00:47:51.220
  • hug.
  • 00:47:51.220 --> 00:47:52.070
  • For example, your family, and
  • 00:47:52.070 --> 00:47:54.170
  • maybe somebody else, your
  • 00:47:54.170 --> 00:47:55.290
  • friends.
  • 00:47:55.290 --> 00:47:56.230
  • But even your friends, you have
  • 00:47:56.230 --> 00:47:58.230
  • to be careful about how you
  • 00:47:58.230 --> 00:48:00.220
  • touch somebody else.
  • 00:48:00.220 --> 00:48:02.210
  • And so, real friends are sacred
  • 00:48:03.110 --> 00:48:06.110
  • in their touch; I would put it
  • 00:48:06.110 --> 00:48:07.200
  • that-a-way.
  • 00:48:07.200 --> 00:48:08.230
  • Then you've got to be
  • 00:48:08.230 --> 00:48:09.140
  • transparent, you've got to be
  • 00:48:09.140 --> 00:48:10.140
  • open.
  • 00:48:10.140 --> 00:48:11.110
  • And think about living this way.
  • 00:48:11.110 --> 00:48:12.210
  • Think about living in a fashion,
  • 00:48:12.210 --> 00:48:14.170
  • I don't want anybody to see on
  • 00:48:14.170 --> 00:48:16.040
  • the inside of what I'm really
  • 00:48:16.040 --> 00:48:17.060
  • like.
  • 00:48:17.060 --> 00:48:18.030
  • And you see, what you may be
  • 00:48:18.030 --> 00:48:19.170
  • feeling may be totally
  • 00:48:19.170 --> 00:48:20.270
  • erroneous, that's not who you
  • 00:48:20.270 --> 00:48:22.050
  • are.
  • 00:48:22.050 --> 00:48:22.220
  • That's who you think you are.
  • 00:48:22.220 --> 00:48:23.250
  • And so, you think, if he or she
  • 00:48:23.250 --> 00:48:26.000
  • sees this, they won't like me
  • 00:48:26.000 --> 00:48:27.150
  • anymore.
  • 00:48:27.150 --> 00:48:28.050
  • You know what?
  • 00:48:28.050 --> 00:48:28.210
  • They've already seen it.
  • 00:48:28.210 --> 00:48:30.290
  • And you're trying to cover it
  • 00:48:30.290 --> 00:48:31.290
  • up.
  • 00:48:31.290 --> 00:48:32.180
  • You just have to be transparent
  • 00:48:32.180 --> 00:48:33.290
  • and open who you are.
  • 00:48:33.290 --> 00:48:36.240
  • And not try to be something that
  • 00:48:36.240 --> 00:48:38.040
  • you're not because we are not
  • 00:48:38.040 --> 00:48:39.180
  • perfect.
  • 00:48:39.180 --> 00:48:40.180
  • And then of course, you've got
  • 00:48:40.180 --> 00:48:41.230
  • to be truthful.
  • 00:48:41.230 --> 00:48:43.100
  • You can't have a friendship if
  • 00:48:43.100 --> 00:48:44.270
  • you're not truthful.
  • 00:48:44.270 --> 00:48:47.110
  • If somebody tells you something
  • 00:48:47.110 --> 00:48:48.180
  • and you say, "I'm not going to
  • 00:48:48.180 --> 00:48:49.160
  • tell anybody, and you do, that's
  • 00:48:49.160 --> 00:48:51.070
  • not being truthful.
  • 00:48:51.070 --> 00:48:52.240
  • Or if somebody asks you a
  • 00:48:52.240 --> 00:48:53.210
  • question, maybe they asked a
  • 00:48:53.280 --> 00:48:56.280
  • question about yourself.
  • 00:48:56.280 --> 00:48:58.230
  • Maybe you don't want to
  • 00:48:58.230 --> 00:48:59.150
  • answer it.
  • 00:48:59.150 --> 00:49:00.030
  • You could say, "Well, you know,
  • 00:49:00.030 --> 00:49:01.190
  • I have to think about that, if
  • 00:49:01.190 --> 00:49:03.290
  • this is the time," or whatever
  • 00:49:03.290 --> 00:49:05.090
  • it might be.
  • 00:49:05.090 --> 00:49:06.030
  • But just be truthful.
  • 00:49:06.030 --> 00:49:07.170
  • Being honest always works.
  • 00:49:08.040 --> 00:49:11.040
  • And the people who are not
  • 00:49:11.040 --> 00:49:12.010
  • truthful, you don't have those
  • 00:49:12.010 --> 00:49:13.040
  • kind of friendships.
  • 00:49:13.040 --> 00:49:14.150
  • Because when you add all those
  • 00:49:14.150 --> 00:49:15.240
  • things up to--they add up to
  • 00:49:15.240 --> 00:49:17.210
  • love.
  • 00:49:17.210 --> 00:49:18.070
  • If you love somebody, all these
  • 00:49:18.070 --> 00:49:20.020
  • things are going to be found in
  • 00:49:20.020 --> 00:49:21.140
  • your life.
  • 00:49:21.140 --> 00:49:22.060
  • And so, there are oftentimes, as
  • 00:49:23.060 --> 00:49:26.060
  • we said in the very beginning,
  • 00:49:26.060 --> 00:49:27.100
  • friendships that start out,
  • 00:49:27.100 --> 00:49:28.170
  • people you trust, people you
  • 00:49:28.170 --> 00:49:30.150
  • love, people that you hope will
  • 00:49:30.150 --> 00:49:33.050
  • be your friend for a long time
  • 00:49:33.050 --> 00:49:35.030
  • and something happens to that
  • 00:49:35.030 --> 00:49:36.080
  • friendship.
  • 00:49:36.080 --> 00:49:37.200
  • How do we rescue these troubled
  • 00:49:37.200 --> 00:49:40.170
  • friendships?
  • 00:49:40.170 --> 00:49:41.100
  • And I'll just make this very
  • 00:49:41.100 --> 00:49:42.160
  • short.
  • 00:49:42.160 --> 00:49:43.010
  • How do we rescue them?
  • 00:49:43.010 --> 00:49:44.110
  • First of all, you've got to
  • 00:49:44.110 --> 00:49:45.040
  • decide that a friendship is
  • 00:49:45.040 --> 00:49:47.190
  • worth rescuing.
  • 00:49:47.190 --> 00:49:48.290
  • You've got to decide you really
  • 00:49:48.290 --> 00:49:50.090
  • want that person to be your
  • 00:49:50.090 --> 00:49:51.130
  • friend.
  • 00:49:51.130 --> 00:49:52.050
  • You have to decide, "I'm willing
  • 00:49:52.050 --> 00:49:53.120
  • to do whatever's necessary to
  • 00:49:53.120 --> 00:49:55.000
  • make things right.
  • 00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:56.040
  • If I've done something to offend
  • 00:49:56.040 --> 00:49:57.150
  • them in some way, neglected them
  • 00:49:57.150 --> 00:49:59.000
  • in some way, I'm willing to make
  • 00:49:59.000 --> 00:50:01.010
  • that--take the steps necessary."
  • 00:50:01.030 --> 00:50:04.030
  • And so, the first thing I have
  • 00:50:04.030 --> 00:50:05.030
  • to do is admit that, "Hey, I was
  • 00:50:05.030 --> 00:50:06.210
  • wrong here.
  • 00:50:06.210 --> 00:50:08.050
  • Please forgive me.
  • 00:50:08.050 --> 00:50:09.140
  • That was not what a loyal,
  • 00:50:09.140 --> 00:50:11.040
  • devoted friend would do, and I'm
  • 00:50:11.040 --> 00:50:12.260
  • asking you to forgive me.
  • 00:50:12.260 --> 00:50:14.020
  • And I promise you to the best of
  • 00:50:14.020 --> 00:50:15.080
  • my ability, it'll never happen
  • 00:50:15.080 --> 00:50:16.250
  • again."
  • 00:50:16.250 --> 00:50:17.180
  • And then live it out, what you
  • 00:50:17.180 --> 00:50:19.040
  • promise, that you'll be loyal,
  • 00:50:19.040 --> 00:50:21.000
  • devoted to that person, honest,
  • 00:50:21.000 --> 00:50:22.250
  • and truthful.
  • 00:50:22.250 --> 00:50:23.230
  • Then of course, one thing you
  • 00:50:23.230 --> 00:50:26.160
  • don't do is begin to defend
  • 00:50:26.160 --> 00:50:28.130
  • yourself.
  • 00:50:28.130 --> 00:50:29.170
  • If you're going to make a
  • 00:50:29.170 --> 00:50:30.120
  • friendship right, don't defend
  • 00:50:30.120 --> 00:50:32.140
  • anything you did; just say, "I
  • 00:50:32.140 --> 00:50:34.010
  • was dead wrong.
  • 00:50:34.010 --> 00:50:35.130
  • I'm very sorry, and I'm asking
  • 00:50:35.130 --> 00:50:37.210
  • for forgiveness."
  • 00:50:37.210 --> 00:50:39.110
  • Specifically, "I'm wrong, I was
  • 00:50:39.110 --> 00:50:41.110
  • wrong, and I'm asking for
  • 00:50:41.110 --> 00:50:42.220
  • forgiveness."
  • 00:50:42.220 --> 00:50:43.240
  • And then what you might do is
  • 00:50:43.240 --> 00:50:45.030
  • ask them, "Listen, would you
  • 00:50:45.030 --> 00:50:46.260
  • tell me what can I do to heal
  • 00:50:48.070 --> 00:50:51.070
  • this relationship?
  • 00:50:51.070 --> 00:50:52.130
  • Tell me what I need to do to
  • 00:50:52.130 --> 00:50:54.210
  • make this relationship right.
  • 00:50:54.210 --> 00:50:56.020
  • Tell me what I need to do to
  • 00:50:56.020 --> 00:50:57.280
  • rebuild our fellowship and our
  • 00:50:57.280 --> 00:51:00.220
  • friendship because I love you as
  • 00:51:00.220 --> 00:51:02.150
  • my friend.
  • 00:51:02.150 --> 00:51:03.120
  • I made a mistake.
  • 00:51:03.120 --> 00:51:04.120
  • I'm sorry.
  • 00:51:04.120 --> 00:51:05.070
  • And if you'll tell me what I can
  • 00:51:05.070 --> 00:51:06.170
  • do to make this better, I will
  • 00:51:06.170 --> 00:51:08.170
  • do it."
  • 00:51:08.170 --> 00:51:09.170
  • And what you're doing is you're
  • 00:51:09.170 --> 00:51:10.210
  • opening the door for them to say
  • 00:51:10.280 --> 00:51:13.280
  • whatever they need to say.
  • 00:51:13.280 --> 00:51:15.170
  • And they may say to you, "Well,
  • 00:51:15.170 --> 00:51:17.270
  • you can do something real
  • 00:51:17.270 --> 00:51:18.240
  • simple.
  • 00:51:18.240 --> 00:51:19.180
  • If I tell you something in
  • 00:51:19.180 --> 00:51:20.280
  • confidence, don't ever tell
  • 00:51:20.280 --> 00:51:22.250
  • anybody else if you want this
  • 00:51:22.250 --> 00:51:24.030
  • friendship to work.
  • 00:51:24.030 --> 00:51:25.100
  • It may be something that simple,
  • 00:51:25.100 --> 00:51:26.190
  • or it may be something more
  • 00:51:26.190 --> 00:51:28.180
  • difficult than that.
  • 00:51:28.180 --> 00:51:29.240
  • But we have to give them an
  • 00:51:29.240 --> 00:51:32.040
  • opportunity to say what needs to
  • 00:51:32.040 --> 00:51:34.230
  • be said if I want to mend that
  • 00:51:34.230 --> 00:51:36.170
  • relationship.
  • 00:51:36.170 --> 00:51:37.080
  • Now, if I don't want to mend it,
  • 00:51:37.080 --> 00:51:38.050
  • I'll say, "Well, you know,
  • 00:51:38.050 --> 00:51:39.070
  • everybody makes mistakes, and if
  • 00:51:39.070 --> 00:51:40.190
  • you think my mistake was so
  • 00:51:40.190 --> 00:51:42.130
  • much, then forget the
  • 00:51:42.130 --> 00:51:43.090
  • friendship."
  • 00:51:43.090 --> 00:51:44.000
  • No, that's not friendship.
  • 00:51:44.000 --> 00:51:45.290
  • But you care about the
  • 00:51:45.290 --> 00:51:46.290
  • friendship.
  • 00:51:46.290 --> 00:51:47.210
  • Friendships are precious.
  • 00:51:47.210 --> 00:51:49.130
  • And if you'll think about it,
  • 00:51:49.130 --> 00:51:50.230
  • your whole life, and you know
  • 00:51:50.230 --> 00:51:52.080
  • how long I've lived, I could
  • 00:51:52.080 --> 00:51:54.170
  • count on true, genuine friends
  • 00:51:55.290 --> 00:51:58.290
  • that I've had.
  • 00:51:58.290 --> 00:51:59.260
  • Thank God it would take both
  • 00:51:59.260 --> 00:52:01.250
  • hands and feet, or all toes.
  • 00:52:01.250 --> 00:52:04.170
  • I've had some wonderful friends.
  • 00:52:04.170 --> 00:52:06.030
  • And I've outlived a lot of them.
  • 00:52:06.030 --> 00:52:08.270
  • And--but I can say this: the
  • 00:52:10.070 --> 00:52:13.070
  • best friends that I've ever had
  • 00:52:13.070 --> 00:52:16.020
  • in my life, I have today.
  • 00:52:16.180 --> 00:52:19.180
  • And so, I would say that to all
  • 00:52:19.180 --> 00:52:20.270
  • you folks out there who are at
  • 00:52:20.270 --> 00:52:23.020
  • my age and above that, or below
  • 00:52:23.020 --> 00:52:24.270
  • that, or whatever it might be:
  • 00:52:24.270 --> 00:52:26.130
  • don't think because you are
  • 00:52:26.130 --> 00:52:29.040
  • whatever age you are, that you
  • 00:52:29.040 --> 00:52:30.210
  • know, nobody wants to be your
  • 00:52:30.210 --> 00:52:31.210
  • friend.
  • 00:52:31.210 --> 00:52:32.080
  • Sure, listen, most all of my
  • 00:52:32.170 --> 00:52:35.170
  • friends are half my age.
  • 00:52:37.140 --> 00:52:40.140
  • You say, "And they're running
  • 00:52:40.140 --> 00:52:41.120
  • around with you?"
  • 00:52:41.120 --> 00:52:42.110
  • Yep!
  • 00:52:42.110 --> 00:52:44.070
  • And you know what, they love it,
  • 00:52:44.220 --> 00:52:47.220
  • because they're wise enough to
  • 00:52:47.220 --> 00:52:49.070
  • listen and learn something.
  • 00:52:49.070 --> 00:52:51.180
  • And I love them.
  • 00:52:51.180 --> 00:52:53.110
  • I--you know, the age has nothing
  • 00:52:53.110 --> 00:52:54.200
  • to do with it.
  • 00:52:54.200 --> 00:52:55.100
  • It has to do with what you have
  • 00:52:55.100 --> 00:52:56.110
  • to offer.
  • 00:52:56.110 --> 00:52:57.000
  • What kind of friend do you want
  • 00:52:57.000 --> 00:52:58.010
  • to be?
  • 00:52:58.010 --> 00:52:59.060
  • And I would have been happy at
  • 00:52:59.060 --> 00:53:00.150
  • the age of forty to have
  • 00:53:00.150 --> 00:53:01.180
  • somebody who was my dear friend
  • 00:53:01.180 --> 00:53:03.000
  • at the age of eighty.
  • 00:53:03.000 --> 00:53:04.140
  • I thought, "Listen, I want to
  • 00:53:04.140 --> 00:53:05.160
  • learn everything I can, listen
  • 00:53:05.160 --> 00:53:06.190
  • to what I can listen to and be
  • 00:53:06.190 --> 00:53:08.150
  • sure I don't miss anything in
  • 00:53:08.150 --> 00:53:10.020
  • life that'll help me become the
  • 00:53:10.020 --> 00:53:12.010
  • person God wants me to be."
  • 00:53:12.010 --> 00:53:14.100
  • We can mend friendships if we're
  • 00:53:14.150 --> 00:53:17.150
  • honest and open, willing to ask
  • 00:53:17.150 --> 00:53:20.050
  • for forgiveness, apologize and
  • 00:53:20.050 --> 00:53:22.080
  • whatever it might be.
  • 00:53:22.080 --> 00:53:23.230
  • So, what you have to ask is
  • 00:53:23.230 --> 00:53:25.050
  • this: how valuable are my
  • 00:53:25.050 --> 00:53:27.010
  • friends?
  • 00:53:28.180 --> 00:53:31.180
  • And the value you place on your
  • 00:53:31.180 --> 00:53:33.050
  • friends will be evidenced by the
  • 00:53:33.050 --> 00:53:35.260
  • way you treat your friends.
  • 00:53:36.110 --> 00:53:39.110
  • Nothing you say--it's the way
  • 00:53:39.110 --> 00:53:41.070
  • you treat them.
  • 00:53:41.070 --> 00:53:43.100
  • And the wonderful thing about
  • 00:53:43.100 --> 00:53:44.100
  • friendship is this: Jesus is the
  • 00:53:44.160 --> 00:53:47.160
  • best friend you and I'll ever
  • 00:53:47.160 --> 00:53:49.080
  • have.
  • 00:53:49.080 --> 00:53:51.030
  • And my friend, no matter who
  • 00:53:51.030 --> 00:53:53.000
  • your friends are and what you
  • 00:53:53.000 --> 00:53:55.270
  • have in life and where you've
  • 00:53:55.270 --> 00:53:58.030
  • been, where you're going, your
  • 00:53:58.030 --> 00:54:00.060
  • popularity and prestige and
  • 00:54:00.060 --> 00:54:01.280
  • prominence and all the rest;
  • 00:54:01.280 --> 00:54:04.000
  • none of that weighs as much as a
  • 00:54:04.000 --> 00:54:06.270
  • good friend.
  • 00:54:06.270 --> 00:54:08.160
  • And you start with Jesus who's
  • 00:54:08.160 --> 00:54:10.290
  • always there.
  • 00:54:10.290 --> 00:54:12.090
  • And if you'll notice that
  • 00:54:12.090 --> 00:54:13.050
  • paragraph we gave at the
  • 00:54:13.050 --> 00:54:14.130
  • beginning of the message, He
  • 00:54:14.130 --> 00:54:15.280
  • fits every bit of that.
  • 00:54:15.280 --> 00:54:18.170
  • He's a true friend.
  • 00:54:18.170 --> 00:54:20.130
  • And listen, when we say He's
  • 00:54:20.130 --> 00:54:23.070
  • there when all the world walks
  • 00:54:23.070 --> 00:54:25.030
  • out.
  • 00:54:25.030 --> 00:54:26.130
  • I think that's the ultimate test
  • 00:54:26.130 --> 00:54:28.190
  • of a friend today.
  • 00:54:28.190 --> 00:54:29.220
  • When everybody else walks away
  • 00:54:29.220 --> 00:54:31.090
  • from you, who's standing there
  • 00:54:31.090 --> 00:54:33.150
  • with you to say, "You can count
  • 00:54:33.150 --> 00:54:35.190
  • on me no matter what."
  • 00:54:35.190 --> 00:54:38.060
  • That's the kind of friend I want
  • 00:54:38.060 --> 00:54:39.120
  • to be and that's the kind of
  • 00:54:39.120 --> 00:54:41.000
  • friend I'd like to have.
  • 00:54:41.000 --> 00:54:43.260
  • And Father, we thank You and
  • 00:54:43.260 --> 00:54:45.050
  • praise You today for Your loving
  • 00:54:45.050 --> 00:54:47.210
  • friendship toward us.
  • 00:54:47.210 --> 00:54:50.010
  • You put up with a lot.
  • 00:54:50.010 --> 00:54:52.050
  • You provide us everything.
  • 00:54:52.050 --> 00:54:53.260
  • And You're so generous to us.
  • 00:54:53.260 --> 00:54:55.130
  • And we ask today that You'd
  • 00:54:56.150 --> 00:54:59.150
  • place within our heart the
  • 00:54:59.150 --> 00:55:02.050
  • desire to be the kind of friend
  • 00:55:03.060 --> 00:55:06.060
  • so many people need.
  • 00:55:06.060 --> 00:55:08.130
  • You've brought us from
  • 00:55:08.130 --> 00:55:09.150
  • multitudes of places, different
  • 00:55:09.150 --> 00:55:11.100
  • backgrounds, but You've
  • 00:55:11.100 --> 00:55:13.100
  • surrounded all of us with
  • 00:55:13.100 --> 00:55:14.220
  • different people, many of whom
  • 00:55:14.220 --> 00:55:17.050
  • need a friend.
  • 00:55:17.050 --> 00:55:19.020
  • Teach us how to be a godly
  • 00:55:19.020 --> 00:55:20.180
  • friend, that being our friend
  • 00:55:20.270 --> 00:55:23.270
  • will draw them closer to You is
  • 00:55:23.270 --> 00:55:26.040
  • our prayer in Jesus's name,
  • 00:55:26.040 --> 00:55:28.120
  • - announcer: If you've been
  • 00:55:30.290 --> 00:55:31.160
  • blessed by today's program,
  • 00:55:31.160 --> 00:55:33.100
  • - Dr. Stanley: His voice waits
  • 00:55:54.050 --> 00:55:54.260
  • to be heard; and having heard
  • 00:55:54.260 --> 00:55:57.000
  • it, we are launched into the
  • 00:55:57.000 --> 00:55:58.240
  • greatest, most exciting
  • 00:55:58.240 --> 00:56:00.200
  • - male: --algorithm to the
  • 00:56:12.220 --> 00:56:13.190
  • Eleven point six verses per day.
  • 00:56:18.010 --> 00:56:20.290
  • And that's how you read through
  • 00:56:20.290 --> 00:56:21.230
  • the Bible in a year.
  • 00:56:21.230 --> 00:56:23.270
  • What do you think?
  • 00:56:23.270 --> 00:56:25.130
  • - female announcer: Make
  • 00:56:28.150 --> 00:56:29.010
  • reading through the Bible in a
  • 00:56:29.010 --> 00:56:30.050
  • year easy and rewarding with
  • 00:56:30.050 --> 00:56:32.130
  • "The Charles F. Stanley Life
  • 00:56:32.130 --> 00:56:33.280
  • - Dr. Charles Stanley: Do you
  • 00:56:40.280 --> 00:56:41.160
  • make decisions based on whether
  • 00:56:41.160 --> 00:56:43.130
  • you'll be accepted or rejected?
  • 00:56:45.060 --> 00:56:48.060
  • Or do you respond to God's
  • 00:56:48.060 --> 00:56:49.270
  • commands in your life according
  • 00:56:49.270 --> 00:56:51.220
  • to what you know God teaches in
  • 00:56:51.220 --> 00:56:54.040
  • His Word?
  • 00:56:54.040 --> 00:56:56.280
  • It takes courage to be obedient
  • 00:56:56.280 --> 00:56:58.190
  • to God.
  • 00:56:58.190 --> 00:57:00.040
  • - male announcer: Dr. Charles
  • 00:57:00.040 --> 00:57:00.220
  • Stanley shares his personal
  • 00:57:00.220 --> 00:57:02.020
  • journey of living by faith:
  • 00:57:02.020 --> 00:57:04.160
  • "Courageous Faith: My Story From
  • 00:57:04.160 --> 00:57:06.240
  • - announcer: "In Touch,"
  • 00:57:09.240 --> 00:57:10.270
  • Leading people
  • 00:57:10.270 --> 00:57:11.150
  • worldwide into a growing
  • 00:57:11.150 --> 00:57:13.060
  • relationship with Jesus Christ
  • 00:57:13.060 --> 00:57:15.030
  • and strengthening the local
  • 00:57:15.030 --> 00:57:16.100
  • church.
  • 00:57:16.100 --> 00:57:17.130
  • This program is sponsored by
  • 00:57:17.130 --> 00:57:18.280
  • In Touch Ministries, and is made
  • 00:57:18.280 --> 00:57:21.020
  • possible by the grace of God and
  • 00:57:21.020 --> 00:57:23.080
  • possible by the grace of God and
  • 00:57:23.080 --> 00:57:24.080